My Path To Serenity

Chapter twenty five

             CHARLOTTE'S POINT OF VIEW:
             TWO WEEKS LATER:

The nausea from my pregnancy had finally went away for good by this point. Now the only thing making me sick is Tristian. I love him with everything in me, but I hate the way he's living his life right now. I turned the page of my English textbook and resumed my focus on my teacher. "Any questions about tonight's homework, class?" No one raised their hand, because we knew the bell rang in three and a half minutes and we didn't want to be held up. She waited for a few moments just to make sure. "Very well then. I want chapter twelve finished by tonight and I expect your one thousand word essay to be completed and turned in by tomorrow morning." The bell rang, and I grabbed my things and went straight to my locker. I seen Kate and Greyson chatting across the hall from me, but I've been avoiding them ever since our video call. It seemed to me they stopped asking to come over and hang out once they realized I couldn't party. I've considered going back to that crazy life style after I give birth to this baby numerous times, but it's just not me any more. It was a good time back then, but now? I'm going to be eighteen and I am a mother of two. Now that I'm pregnant for a second time this is the longest I've been sober. I like it, actually. The whole being clear minded thing. There's times I want to go out and party with my friends, but at the same time it isn't the party life style I crave, it's the friendship part of it. The social part. But it seems like now adays, it's the only thing people want to do in high school. Get trashed in some kid's parents mansion, sleep around, live for the moment, and not really put too much thought into the future. That used to sound like fun to me, until I grew up. I just.. don't know how else to stay friends with Katie and Greyson. It's all we've known. I looked over at the two of them smiling and laughing about something. I didn't want to make eye contact with them, but Greyson just so happened to be looking over at me when I looked over at them.

I slammed my locker shut and reached for my crumbled up dollar bills that have been sitting in the bottom of my book bag. I needed that for a bus pass to pick up Oliver from daycare this afternoon. That little boy of mine has been extremely patient with me throughout this chaotic period of my life. Once they noticed me, they cheerfully walked over to meet me at my locker. "Hey Charlotte, how've you been?" I shrugged and kept it short. "I'm doing well, thank you. Yourself?" She furrowed her eyebrows at me. "I'm doing well also. You wanna go to the movies with Greyson and I then have a little kick back at my place after?" I shook my head. "I'd love to, guys, but I can't. I'm not really allowed out unless it's for school or work." "Oh, well okay!" She smiled. "No worries. What else is new?" I took in a deep breath. "Everything." Greyson chuckled at my response. "Everything?" I nodded. "It'a a lot, actually." "Like what?" They pestered. I didn't say a word and they could tell something was off. "What's going on?" "You would know if you didn't leave me hanging on video chat," I confronted. It just blurted out of me, and I was instantly regretful because I'm not the confrontational type. "Sorry Charlotte, I was busy," Kate admitted. "Is everything alright with you?" I shrugged, "not really. If you two want to walk with me to the bus stop I can explain everything. I have to pick up Oliver from daycare." Kate looked at Greyson, and he looked at her. "The movie starts in a half hour. I don't think we'll make it in time if we walk with you.." I was disappointed but tried not to show that. "Okay, well we'll catch up another time." Kate nodded, "definitely. Let's go Greyson." He looked at me, and noticed I was hurt. "I'll meet up with you at the theater." She walked out the main entrance. "You don't seem like yourself, and I can sense it." He confronted. I sighed, "I guess I just miss being best friends with you two." "We are still best friends. What do you mean?" "Things are different now." "Things aren't different," he looked at me in denial. "It wasn't like freshman year, when the three of us would all get together on Friday nights and go party, or when we would all get together before first period and smoke cigarettes in the bathroom for crying out loud. I met Tristian and I got pregnant twice. It changed my life okay? It changed me, and it changed my friendships." I folded my arms and sucked in my cheeks, trying to look for another way to process these built up emotions besides yelling at Greyson in the middle of the empty school hallway.  "Look," Greyson tried to cheer me up. "Forget that stupid movie, why don't we go study together at the library? We have our exam next week and I know we both want A's. I'm sure your family will understand that you're out after school hours to study." I shook my head and moved passed him. "I have to get to Oliver. I'll see you around." "Wait," he hollered from across the hall and then chased after me. "I'll come over to your place, that way you can still be there to watch Oliver and we can still study." "Thanks, Greyson. But I still can't have friends over right now. The whole grounded thing and being pregnant hasn't been easy." He nodded and frowned, "I- I get it. Well, if you ever need a babysitter I'd love to help." I smiled and walked away, still hearing his voice echo in the hallway. "Wait, um, I'll walk with you to the bus stop. How far is it?" "About a mile, and it's the complete opposite way from the movie theater." He paced over to me and smiled, "the first twenty minutes before the movies are previews, anyways. I'll have Kate get the popcorn and drinks before I get there." I chuckled, "fine." "Hey, by the way, let me carry your book bag on my shoulders." I willingly let the backpack fall off my shoulders and questioned why he was wanted mine. He noticed my concern and nonchalantly answered before I could even ask, "A bad back on top of pregnancy is never good." We got off school grounds and he immediately lit up a cigarette. "What's with everyone and cigarettes now? Tristian got hooked, now you? I seen Kate smoking here and there, too." "We all willingly agreed to be your example of what not to be." I laughed, "oh go to hell." He cracked a smile. "So uh, I've been curious about Tristian lately." I turned my head towards him. "But lately I've been feeling like Tristian's pissed at me and I've been trying to figure out what I did. The dude was supposed to go hiking with me last month, but he blew me off and has been ignoring my calls ever since." I didn't want to necessarily explain to Greyson that he was in rehab, because it wasn't my business to tell. However, the two of them have been friends for years, so it's hard to keep it a secret from him. "And then he stops showing up to school all of the sudden? I mean sheesh I know I owe him ten dollars, but I didn't expect him to be this mad." "He couldn't care less about ten dollars, Greyson. If he lets you borrow money he's not going to hold it against you until you pay it back. He's just going through a lot at the moment." "Is he okay?" He lit up another cigarette anxiously. "He's getting better," I hesitated. "Well," Greyson went on, "Tell him to give me a call, when he can. Please." "He won't be able to talk to you for another couple months or so, but I'll make sure to tell him." "A couple months?! No way Charlotte. Are you for real?" I pondered on telling him about Tristian. I mean after all, that's one of his best friends. "Promise you won't say a word." I stuck out my pinky finger, waiting for him to pinky promise me. "Sure, yeah." He intertwined his pinky with mine. "I mean it, Greyson. If the school finds out, his reputation will be destroyed. Even worse than it already is." I took in a deep breath. "He's in a treatment center, getting himself sober. His probation officer stopped by the morning after he spent his night getting wasted." "What the fuck?" Greyson looked at me with a concerned expression on his face. "He's in a rehab? I can't imagine how he's feeling, he's got to be losing his shit in there." "I haven't seen him in a few weeks, but when I visit him again, I'll let him know you were thinking of him." "So I guess those fake IDs can get tossed, and Saturday nights at the bar are no longer going to be a thing," he told me as we continued walking to the bus stop. "Yeah," I confirmed. "He needs positive influences in his life. Not saying you're a shit friend, but he can't keep messing up. I mean, I'm so serious Greyson. If he comes out of rehab and asks you for a beer or something you better talk some sense into him." "In order to do that I think I need someone to talk some sense into me, first." He joked. "I'm kidding, I promise to steer him straight." We were close to the bus stop by now, and it honestly felt refreshing talking to a friend about what's going on with my mid life crisis. "Thanks for walking with me," I smiled as I walked up to the bench. "Thanks for talking with me. I'll see you tomorrow at school." "Remember what I said. Don't even tell Kate." "Woah, not even Kate? Are you just going to tell her?" "I shouldn't of even told you," I explained. "It's no ones business but Tristian's, but I thought you needed to know. You're close to Tristian, Kate not so much." "Don't worry, I'm not going to say a word to anybody..." We were quiet for a few minutes while the sound of traffic took over. "Anyways," he spoke up. "I know you're in the middle of a rut and you think your life is over, but I promise you're going to be okay." "Thanks," I pretended to believe him. The bus arrived, and I started to walk over towards it. "Tell Oliver I said hi." I nodded and turn around, "will do." "Oh and when you see Tristian.." he shouted, "tell him I'll be hoping for him." I gave him a thumbs up while walking towards the bus.