My Path To Serenity

Chapter twenty two

Christmas Day
               TRISTIAN'S POINT OF VIEW

I awoken to a knock on the my door. I groggily fluttered my eyes open and shut off the blaring alarm clock. I must've slept through my alarm once again. I was up all night again thinking about how much I miss Charlotte, Oliver, my mother, my warm bed, my comfort zone, my familiarity. "Yeah," I answered back in my tired, raspy voice. The door gently creaked open. "Merry Christmas Peters," Staff James smiled brightly, wearing a Santa hat and an ugly Christmas sweater. "Don't want to miss breakfast!" Freshen up and meet everyone in the kitchen, would you? We have a busy day ahead of us." I didn't want to be reminded that it was Christmas and I was stuck in a treatment center for it. "I'm okay, I'll stay in here. I'm not hungry anyways. I was sleeping." He chuckled, "Come on I heard it's something good today. You like waffles right? Who doesn't like waffles?" I rubbed my eyes and rolled back over, wanting just five more minutes to lie down. "I'll meet everyone in the kitchen in ten minutes," I answered back with my eyes closed. "Wash your face and brush your teeth we gotta get the day moving. After breakfast we're all taking a trip to the soup kitchen." I sighed. "What's a soup kitchen?" He laughed, "you have a lot to learn my friend. Get ready." He walked out the door and I trudged over to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I stared at myself in the mirror, disgusted with what I saw. Way to go, man. Got yourself trapped in a facility full of drug addicts. How'd you pull that stunt off? I threw on a pair of beige khakis and a classic black tee shirt. Laundry day was tomorrow morning and this was the only outfit I had, because if everything was clean, I'd throw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I didn't want to start my day just yet. I wanted today to end quite frankly. I headed down the long, what felt like a never ending, hallway to finally reach the elevator. The few moments of silence with only myself to sit with was agony. I used to enjoy my own company, but I haven't been too fond of myself lately. I walked to the kitchen where everyone else was. I sat down next to Alex and his brother David again, and downed a glass of orange juice. "You know what I miss?" Alex asked me, which was the first thing he's said to me all morning. I raised an eyebrow as I took a bite of my waffle. "Coffee, dude." I let out a laugh. "Yeah man?" "Dark, Columbian coffee with milk. It doesn't get any better than that." I nodded in agreement. "Coffee is good." David chimed in, "or what about soda? I haven't had a drop of soda since I was admitted into this place." "Alright boys, listen up!" Staff James raised his voice to catch our attention. "After we regroup and discuss our New Years resolutions, we're gonna load on the bus and head to the soup kitchen. We're gonna be serving a bunch of people, so let's put on our A game, alright?"

Group was an utter disaster today. I didn't necessarily have a New Years resolution. I threw something out there for staff Tracey to jot down on her clipboard and go on to the next person, but of course, she wanted me to go into detail. "And what's your New Years resolution, Tristian?" She crossed her legs as she grinned, waiting for me to say something. "Pass," I immediately answered. She chuckled, "this one you can't pass on. Think of something!" I scratched my head, "uh, be more family oriented." She squinted her eyes, really intrigued by my quick answer. "Why don't you go into more depth?" She asked with her hand on her chin. "First thing I thought of," I shrugged. She adjusted her posture and wrote something down as she spoke, "for you to come up with something that quick, means it's been laying on your conscience for a while now. Are you aware of that?" I shrugged again. "I guess now I am since you said something." She smiled. "Thank you sharing, Mr. Peters. Who wants to go next?" I slouched back in my chair in relief that the spotlight was no longer on me. Sitting on my conscience huh? I thought to myself. Whatever. I brushed that off. The reality is I want to see my son, and I want to see Charlotte. I want to make things right with Charlotte because that's the mother of our child, the woman I love. We each grabbed a box full of cans and soups, and we gathered in the van.