A Place With No Name (revamped)

.128

"Michael, call her and stop overthinking!" I heard Madeline yell from the other room. 

"....shit, fine!" I grabbed the phone with a shaky hand, and used the other to turn the dials. The closer I got to the end of her phone number, the more nervous I felt. 

As soon as I heard the ringing I wanted nothing more than to hang up right then and there. But I knew that I needed to do this and get it over with. Now with it being a nose hair close to being released to the media I needed to get it over with. I know everyday lately she probably felt angry with me, and it might've increased since I haven't reached out to explain. I was just scared. I still am. I know she hates me for this and I won't blame her if she does. Fuck, I am overthinking it!

"....Hello?"

Shit. 

My entire body froze in utter shock, excitement, sadness... you name it. I wasn't expecting to hear her voice, even though I needed to. Like a complete fool I sat there with my mouth wide open, staring at the wall instead of answering. She had said hello one too many time within the short time of us being on the phone. 

"Hello? Who is this on the phone?" Her angelic voiced answered again, sounding like lovely and tragic music to my ear. "Is this a fuckin' prank call?" I swallowed hard. "I don't know who this is, but don't fucking call me again. I'm not in the mood to play any sick games!" 

"Wait, Ana I--" I started to speak, but it was too late. She had hung up soon after her statement. "love you...," I finished, sighing after. 

I dropped my head with the phone still to my ear. I could still hear her voice in my head even if it has only been a millisecond. I don't know why I choked, why I hesitated. Everything that I needed to stay left my mind as soon as she answered. But I had no time to keep stalling. 

Raye was in jail, so why did I feel like I should hide it from her? Why do I still have the urge to keep my mouth shut even when everything was put on the table? 

Although deep inside, my mind was telling me not to call back, to give her all of the space she needs to heal on her own, and for her to think, my heart told me to do the complete opposite. I turned the dials, putting her number in until the very end. The ringing in my ears sounded as I nervously twirled the cord around my finger. My eyes darted around the room for a bit as I waited and waited. One minute became many more. It actually felt like an eternity before I heard the line being picked up from her end, and her beautiful voice graced my ear waves again. 

"Who the fuck is this and why are you playing on my Aunt's phone?" I imagine a cute pout on her face with the phone between her ear and shoulder and her arms being crossed as she leans against the wall. "Are you mute? Why waste my time if you can't even talk!? I'm hangin up--"

"Wait, I'm sorry!" I quickly stopped her midsentence. A smack of silence waved between us. "It's me, Ana.." 

"Michael?" she whispered. 

Oh boy, I was a nervous wreck. My hands felt damp and clammy, and they were shaking. I was sure I'd drop the phone. "Y--Yes." 

I heard her draw in a sharp breath before she went completely silent. Almost as if she knew that this day was coming, but she didn't prepare herself for it. That alone set a comforting feeling in my body -- knowing that she feels the same things that I do. Even just sitting here in silence and now knowing that she wouldn't hang up now makes me feel a bit better. 

Mustering up some confidence, I asked, "H--How are you? How is the... our baby?" Hearing me saying that we have a child together made me smile softly. I hate the things that occurred, and the circumstances from which we found out, but I couldn't think or imagine another woman to carry a piece of my heart inside of another human being. I just wish that it didn't happen this way. I wish we weren't going through losing friends, the Brooke situation, the Raye situation... I wish we were happy and carefree. I wish we didn't have to worry about the things we worry about, that we were married and living here happily, doing our jobs and trying for babies whenever we could. But sadly, life isn't set up that way. Things like that only happen in corny stories, where they're too happy to feel any other emotion-- to go through any other emotion. It's a fantasy world. In real life, you have to go through the worse to get to the best.