A Scout's Journal (Attack On Titan X Male Reader)[DISCONTINUED]

The Return Of A Loser

While I was helping the trainees in ODM training, I received a letter from none other than HARRI, who somehow lived! I was happy, but at the same time I was pissed off. The letter said this:

Dear (Y/N),

I am so so sorry to scare you like this. I know you're pissed off, but I wanna make it up to you. How about just you and I hang out in Trost and we catch up? Lunch will be on me. Also, I'm happy to tell you that I earned a place in Levi Squad! Who the fuck knew! I know you look up to Levi and I and he's actually considering a place for you. I'll be here in a couple days so be ready to hang! Hang loose baby brother!

Harri (L/N)

I was excited but at the same time I just wanna kick his ass for faking his death. I mourned for him. I even said a couple words at his goddamn funeral and I was crying! When I see him, I'll kick him in the balls.

Back to the training, I saw something was off with Eren's belt. "Lower him down." They did. I took the belt off of him and gave him mine. "Try now." As they lifted him up again, he was balancing in perfect position. I looked at Keith and I saw the look in his eyes. I knew he busted up that belt so he could fail Eren.

"Keith." "Yes, Mr. (L/N)?" "You busted that belt didn't you?" "Yes. You were right." "Why would you do that?" "I wanted him to fail because he deserves to be behind the Walls to be safe. Do you know Dr. Jaeger?" "Yeah." "It seems like you made a promise to him. Now that Jaeger's determined to slay all the titans, there's no stopping him. And you know what they say about curiosity..." "You can't contain it." "That's correct." "Ranks dismissed!"

Everyone left as I was in my quarters, putting on some casual clothes. A knock was heard on my door. When I answered, it was Harri Anders, my own goddamn brother. "(Y/N)! Hey!" As he said that I kicked him in the dick and he fell clutching it as I proceeded to kick his gut and punch his face in tears. "Where were you you son of a bitch?!! You dying had haunted me for years! You should be dead right now!"

Keith heard the commotion and broke it up. "What the hell is going on in here!"

When he pulled me away, he saw Harri, smiling and hurt because of the low blow. "You're alive?" Harri chuckled as Keith, I'm not kidding, held him in a headlock as Harri is tapping out. "You haunted both of us! You know that, son? He mourned for you! You were his role model and you made him think you were killed!" "Keith, stop. Let him go." Keith lets go and backed away. "I'm sorry. I deserved this." "You should be! I cried for you! I even spoke at your goddamn fucking funeral!"

I stormed out about to sob until I came across a beautiful young woman with blonde hair, again, I have a fetish for, and she was slightly shorter than Harri. "Oh, (Y/N). Don't feel down." I stood there, confused. "I'm sorry. Who are you?" "I'm Petra Ral. Harri's g—".

She stopped at that part and it got me suspicious. If they're dating, I will be so pissed, not because she was blonde, but because Harri was a stoner and she didn't seem like one. She resumed, but nervously. "Um... fellow Scout. We're both in Levi Squad."

This girl seemed nice, seeing that Harri might've chosen a nice one then. Harri was able to get on his feet and walk out of my quarters. "Well, that was expected. Let's get something to eat, shall we?" In the corner of my eye, I saw Harri and Petra hold hands. I knew it. Does she know he smokes weed? I don't think so, since he's usually very sneaky about it. (Not really.)

When we got to the dining hall, we saw Eren and Mikasa and Armin sitting next to each other. When Harri walked in, the entire place went crazy. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were in shock. "Harri is alive?!" Mikasa yelled. She actually ran up to him and hugged him! What was that about? Are they in a harem? I don't know. It wasn't my place to judge, even though I was an instructor at the time. They eventually sat down and hung out.

"Harri? How did you live? I received the news you were dead." I asked my brother and he said with shame, and I quote, "Because I was a coward." I gasped at that last word. It pissed me off.

There are lot of my friends who the minute they hear a fellow soldier say they were a coward, they'd kick him in his teeth. But I didn't. In fact, it made me think of that. He continued.

"When we got to Wall Maria, there were titans everywhere, man. We had to come up with a plan to retake our territory. Levi ordered his squad to take out any titans in the sights of the refugees. They spayed every titan they could find while an old man, who knew the basics of ODM, was grabbed by a funny looking Titan. I flew up to try and save him, but it was too late. His hat fell and I was ashamed of my cowardice. I asked the Scouts to proclaim that I was K.I.A and they obliged. I found a look-a-like and decorated him a little bit to make it look like me. Since then I've been living alone. A year later, Levi offered to make me a part of his Elite Team, Squad Levi. I had to take it so I could redeem myself. And It still haunts me in fact that whenever I see any elderly man in Trost, I think of him."

Armin covered his face with his hands and cried. It was heartbreaking to hear that his grandfather could've been saved by Harri, but my own fucking brother didn't have the balls to save him.

"That old man, Harri, was Armin's grandfather." I said. Harri gasped when he heard that. He actually shed some tears of his own because of his own lack of bravery and how he didn't save him. Harri tried to comfort Armin but he refused and walked out, going to the barracks.

I ran out to try and talk to him, but Armin wasn't having it. He'd rather be alone than be with his friend's brother who was a coward. I spoke so he could listen.

"Armin! Wait!" Armin looked back in tears. "I don't wanna be anywhere near you and your stupid brother." "Armin, it wasn't his fault!" "Yes it was! Harri could've done his job and saved my grandfather but he didn't! It is his fault! He's not a soldier! He's a joke! Just go away. I'm done for tonight." He walked into the barracks as I walked back to the dining hall.

"How'd it go?" "Went good." "Alright." Out of nowhere, I stabbed Harri's hand with a knife. As he yelled in pain, Petra tried to intervene, but he stopped her. "You and that fucking grass you keep smoking!" "Grass?" I reached for his bag and I found huge chunks of it in a cloth bag. Petra was shocked and confused at the same time. "I knew it. I fucking knew it." I put it across the table for all the recruits to see.

"See here trainees, this is what happens when you smoke this shit! You put it first before yourself, and everything won't let you make a difference! Harri is one that should've gave up a long time ago, but no, he smoked it and had an old man killed from a Titan! I'm fucking done!"

I grabbed the weed and the knife. I reached his bag to find more. And it turns out, he has three more bags and paper. I grabbed them out of pure anger. "(Y/N)! Stop!" "Shut up, bitch!"

I grabbed them all in one hand as I looked for a torch. "You fucking piece of shit! You had one job and YOU BLEW IT!"

Harri tried to go after me but Petra stopped him. I finally found a torch and started walking towards the campfire. Everyone started to come out as Harri tried to stop me. "(Y/N)! Just stop!" "I don't care. I don't care. You're done with this crap." As we got to the campfire, I lit it up and threw the bags into it, one by one. "(Y/N)! Just stop it!" "See this fucking weed?"

I threw it in the fire as Harri is sobbing his eyes out.

"That's right! This weed! Harri! Do you see what this does to you! It messes up brain makes you think differently! It doesn't make you look cool as shit, it makes you look dumb as shit! Why didn't mom give birth to a son who knew how the hell to not smoke this grass!" "Okay, I get it! Just give me another chance!" "No! You're not going anywhere near it again! In fact, why don't you tell the entire Scout Regiment, 'Hey everyone! I'm a stoner! I get fucked by weed everyday!' You are a stupid pile of shit, Harri! You hear me?! All the weed in the world can't even make people happy enough you stupid pile of shit! Thank Jesus that I don't have a fetish for someone who smokes that garbage!"

As Harri is kneeling, sobbing, I say one last thing. "You got five minutes to grab your bag, your girlfriend, and get the hell out of here! You can forget about hanging out in Trost! The rest of you, clean up your eating area and go to bed!" I walked away as everyone does. The last I saw of Harri for a while was when he was leaving. I cried myself to sleep that night.