If only... ♥ Tododeku story ♥

Part 18

I will be posting Mezuka's backstory a little after this chapter so look out for it! enjoy this chapter but it gets a bit... intense

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Midoriya POV

I watched as the girl skipped away as though nothing had happened still clenching my bleeding hand. What just happened?! I just started becoming more happy and this random girl just takes it all away?! I-I don't understand, why?! I didn't care my hand was bleeding, at this point I didn't care about anything. I sat back down onto the swing and cried. Haven't I suffered enough? After a few minutes I remember my hand is still bleeding so I hurry home. I wrap my hand up in a bandage then immediately flop onto my bed and try to fall asleep. When I finally do I have that same nightmare again, except Mr. Voice isn't the only one in it,  this time he introduces me to Mrs. Voice, his new friend. Mrs. Voice throughout the whole nightmare kept me in the dream, I couldn't leave no matter how hard I tried to wake up. She also told me that Todoroki shouldn't be hanging out with me so that psycho girl was doing him a favor. The continuously tormented me until finally the next morning came. My mom was already gone as usual which was a good thing because I was sweating when I woke up and shaking and if she were here she would 100% be able to tell something was up. I got into my uniform and prepared for one of many horrible days, I walked into the kitchen and considered having some breakfast but then I decided to skip because I was't that hungry. 

Time skipp

When I got to school I went straight to my seat and didn't even make an attempt to look for Todoroki and when he came in and waved to me I didn't wave back, It felt so rude to do so but I had to... "Hey whats up Midoriya?" he asked walking over to me. "Nothing" I mumbled avoiding eye contact. "what happened to your hand?" he asked concerned as he picked up my wrapped up hand "Nothing, I'm fine." I said pulling my hand away, I CANT RIGHT NOW HE WAS CONCERNED AND I JUST TOTALLY DISMISSED HIM. "Oh, okay" he said sounding a bit hurt. "You should head to your seat, class is about to start" I said as coldly as I could muster. He didn't respond and just shuffled sadly to his desk. "Everyone shut up" Mr. Aizawa grunted and everyone went silent. Suddenly the girl from yesterday walked into the room. I grew tense and nervously tapping my foot. I clenched my hurt hand remembering how much it stung. "Everyone this is your new classmate Akari. Say hi" Everyone except for me said hi, I just sat there staring at her in fear. She waved then said in a cheerful voice "Hi everyone! I hope we can all be friends!" She smiled and continued to wave. "You can sit in the empty seat back there" Mr. Aizawa said blankly. she skipped over to her seat and glared at me as she passed. The rest of the day was quiet and lonely not being able to talk to Todoroki. Akari was all over him and constantly talking to him. It felt like I was back in middle school, being alone and not talking to anyone except the teacher. 
Time skip to like weeks later, everything has stayed the same

Also TW trying to commit un-alive in this part

still Midoriya POV

It's been weeks now and at this point Todoroki doesn't even look at me, Mr. Voice yells at me daily along with Mrs. Voice and Kacchan has noticed Todoroki and I haven't been hanging out and went right back to bullying me. I can't take this anymore its too much! I don't have anyone to talk to, my mom's never around, I am constantly bullied by the voices inside my head plus Kacchan, and I was forced to push away one of the only person that made me happy. I don't know what my purpose in this cruel world even is, like why am I even here I wouldn't be missed if I was gone so why bother. I get home from school and go on as usual, once its around three in the morning I write my final words to my mother. THATS RIGHT IDIOT, YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING FOR YOUR LOVED ONES, THEY WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER WITH YOU GONE Mr and Mrs Voice said in unison  
-on the note-

Dear mom, I love you so much, I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger for you but I can't take this anymore. Everything hurts and I never wanted to hurt you but for once I need to be selfish and finally be at peace. I know you love me and I know loosing me will be hard for you, but I'll be happier. I love you -your son, Midoriya 

I put the note on the counter and grabbed my phone, Todoroki should be asleep by now so I'll write him a goodbye text so I can apologize to him. 

on the text

Dear Todoroki, I am so sorry for ignoring you but I had no choice, that new girl Akari saw me the day before her first day of school and she told me to stay away from you or else she would harm you. I didn't want you to get hurt so I promised her I would stay away from you. I just wanted to apologize to you before I go, I'm sorry if my death causes you pain but I want to be selfish for once in my life and do what I want to do and need to do. I'm finally going to listen to Mr and Mrs Voice. By the time you read this I will probably be gone, I'm sorry I couldn't be stronger -your very sorry friend, Midoriya

I read it over, sent it, then put my phine down and walked out the door and began running towards my secret spot. 

Todoroki POV

It was the middle of the night but I just couldn't sleep. I haven't been able to sleep well since Midoriya stopped hanging out with me, I just couldn't figure out what I did wrong. As I was in the middle of thought I received a text message and it was from... MIDORIYA! Maybe he'd forgiven me for whatever I did! I excitedly opened the message but what I read didn't make me happy, it make my heart drop. I jumped out of bed and ran out the door without even putting on shoes, I was running on pure adrenaline. I know exactly where he is, at his secret spot. Please Midoriya hold on for just a bit longer. I ran as fast as I could panting and listening to my feet patter on the sidewalk. I ignored the fact my feet hurt from running on the sidewalk and kept running and running. I need to stop him! I have so many questions like what did he mean by "I;m finally going to listen to Mr and Mrs Voice?" Who even are they?! And is Akari the reason you had an injury that day? I need to know! please Midoriya don't do this! I finally made it and burst through the bushes. Midoriya had just jumped but he was still in my sights, I ran and grabbed his hand and clenched it as hard as I could. He looked up at me, tears in his eyes "What are you doing?! Let me go, I deserve this! I've been ignoring you, why would you come try to save me?! He said tears streaming down his face. I felt myself drag slightly forward "I couldn't just let you go! Do you think I would just let you die? I don't care you ignored me! I know now that it wasn't your choice!" I yelled tears now pouring out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks, the harsh waves crashed at the bottom of the long drop.

listen to this for the next part if you want- You dont need to listen to it i just thought it fit well 

"Just let me go! I don't deserve anything! I want this just let me have it!" he responded while sniffling his face all red from crying. "I CANT LET YOU GO BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" I yelled desperately, I wasn't lying but I knew he would probably think so. Midoriya paused then looked up at me once more. "I swear to you I'm not lying, please don't let go of my hand, I'll figure out a way to help you up!" I shouted hoping with all of my might I could convince him not to give up. He looked up at me, his tear filled eyes sparkling in the moonlight, he smiled  "I'm sorry Todoroki, I love you too" he said before letting go of my hand, I was too weak and his hand slipped away. Without thinking I jumped after him, I love Midoriya, I love him so much and I will not let him die no matter what I can't let him die! I made sure to jump far enough so I would be farther away from the rocks and not hit my head on one hopefully. Midoriya however was right above them so he probably hit one. No no no no no. I've never loved someone like this before, they cant just die right before my eyes. I finally plunge into the water and began shouting and looking for Midoriya, the waves weren't as aggressive as they had looked from above which was a good thing. I swam around shouting his name for a few minutes, suddenly I saw some green hair emerge in the water, I swam towards it as fast as I could and luckily that hair was attached to a little broccoli! He was however unconscious so I assumed he had hit his head on a rock. I but him onto my back then ran to the nearest place with a phone, they then called an ambulance and we finally made it to the hospital. As we rode in the ambulance the doctors examined Midoriya and tried to figure out if he was okay or not and I just had to sit by and watch not able to help with anything. Please be okay Midoriya, I don't know what I'll do without you, please be okay...

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WHEW it was hard to see my keyboard with tears in my eyes ;-; welp I hope you enjoyed have a good day/night