Honey and Milk

22: Effects.

Dream

My foot was tapping nervously as I pulled the beanie tighter over my ears. It wasn't often then anything outside swimming made me nervous, in the fidgety kind of way. I remembered feeling this way for someone else, only in a much different setting.

There was a buzz in my pocket, pulling up my screen to see a message from Sapnap, a simple thumb's-up emoji under his name. I rolled my eyes, still receiving a small smile from the simple gesture.

As if on cue with powering off my phone, there was the sound of footsteps to my left, lifting my head to see an ever-joyful girl bouncing her way over. 

"Hi Dream! I hope you're feeling better, Karl told me what Sapnap had to take you back to the dorm since you didn't look great. I don't blame you for not messaging." She gave a soft smile. It only made the pain in my heart ache even more.

"Yeah, I probably just drank more then my body could handle, sorry for ditching without any warning." I responded, holding out an elbow for her to grab, gradually steering us down the sidewalk.

"That's cool, I just went with my friends for the rest of it. It was hilarious, this one guy started surfing over everybody and for some reason there was a kiddie pool? To say the least he got dunked." She was laughing to herself and I couldn't help but add my own chuckles, trying to smooth over the tight feeling in my chest.

We walked along like that, Poppy supplying ample conversation while I gave small remarks and noises in response. It really hit how boring of company I could be at times.

After a while more of this, I pulled her off to the side of the path and under a small oak tree near the center of campus. She followed along, seemingly falling silent in my cryptic movements. We stopped and I started at the bark momentarily, filing through all of my thoughts as quickly as possible.

Here I was, just a day after finally having at least one person (besides George, that didn't count) who knew about my issues. No, not issues, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was to like George, and I was going to get there. I wanted to take it slow, this was entirely out of my comfort zone, but what are the consequences if I don't?

For one, I'd still have Poppy believing there was something between us, and that meant more publicity of a false relationship. That would lead into two, losing George permanently, which would hurt like absolute hell. And third, what about my happiness in general? The events of the past few weeks would set like a stone-- no, a boulder, and too much has happened for too long to simply ignore the feelings I'd been suppressing all my life.

I still didn't know how she would take it, whether she would be accepting or go behind my back and spread it all out before I was ready. But I couldn't wait, I can't. For the sake of my own sanity and keeping George. This is for George.

"Dream, what's wrong? You're looking a little spacy, are you sure you're feeling better?" She waved a hand in front of my face, effectively snapping me from my mental trance.

"Sorry, yeah. I've actually got something to say, but I need to get a promise from you." She nodded timidly in response, clutching her hands together at the base of her stomach. "Okay, um, you just have to promise not to spread this around. No matter what, I'm not comfortable at all with it being out, but it's kind of important I tell you."

"That's kind of worrisome." She furrowed her brow before gasping. "Oh my god, did you buy drugs under my name or something?"

"What- no! No, hell no. Nothing like that, it's just-" I paused, inhaling sharply before saying, "I like this guy, and I have for quite a while."

I was staring down at our shoes, waiting for her to say something, when a hand reached up and tentatively touched my cheek. I flinched slightly, looking up to meet her gaze. I was prepared for something like a slap across the face, a 'fuck you' or some sort of slur, before storming off. Instead, she looked... understanding, caring, anything but rage. I instantly relaxed under her touch.