Cigarettes

Chapter 38

First let me explain: Layla didn't act that way because she was ticklish, that reaction would be very over exaggerated then. Re-read chapter 20 if you've forgotten!! Xx

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Luke's POV

Waiting is a very worthless suffering.

You can't know what's happened, what's happening and what will happen. And it's killing you, the not knowing.

You can try to make it better but you're afraid you'll make it worse. So you do nothing. You just wait.

That's what I've been doing the whole night. I've been sat in the hallway with my head in my hands and the pain in every single part of my body. The pain the was caused by the muffled weeps coming from Lay's room.

I couldn't force to forgive myself for forgetting. How could've I forgotten. Lay's told me about her hating to be touched that way and I just kept tickling her on and on. I didn't notice her words were serious since she was laughing. And I forgot that she hates tickling.

I couldn't think of the feeling that was stabbing me on every part of my body. I didn't know if it was pain, regret or something. I just knew it was horrible.

I felt like I've hurt her badly. When I saw the fright and the tears in her eyes when she ran away from me I wanted to kick myself in the head to the point when I was unconscious.

I didn't want any other girl after Kelly to be hurt and mistreated and this is exactly what I did tonight. And I couldn't forgive myself. I couldn't find a way to feel better. Lay didn't want to talk to me, heck, she did't even want to look at me. She was crying the whole night and I didn't know what kind of cries they were, I just knew they hurt me. They hurt more than if someone tried pulling my nails out.

Lay's been quiet for a while now and I concluded she had fallen asleep. The sun has already come up and I stood up from the floor and walked to the kitchen. I took out a paper and a pencil and did the one thing the was left for me to make Lay forgive me.

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Layla's POV

I woke up with my face still in my pillow. The pillow had black stains on it and I concluded that was from all the crying I've done yesterday and through the night since I didn't take off my make up once we came home.

I stood up from my bed and went to the bathroom just to be frightened once I saw the reflection of my face in the mirror. My cheeks looked like a kid painted black water colors all over my face.

I remembered the very uncomfortable and almost sleepless night that I've spent crying. First I cried because I was afraid and disgusted. Then I cried because I acted that way. Then I cried because I didn't know what to do. And at the end of it all, I cried because I've been crying so much and because of what a huge mess I was.

I walked out of the bathroom once I cleaned up my face and did my hygiene. I didn't want to be forced to look at Luke first thing in the morning but it was 8:14 so I figured he wouldn't be home. Walking into the kitchen, I started making my morning coffee.

"Lay?" Luke's voice startled me as I winced and turned around in a span of a second. Luke's face looked exhausted and fallen, his hair was shuffled to the point where the strands were sticking out in all directions including down to his forehead. He was wearing the same thing we wore yesterday.

I ignored him as my chin couldn't help but tremble. I couldn't look at him. I felt so confused and lost, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I was still blank minded about what's happened yesterday and why he's done what he's done, but I couldn't just let it go. I've told him I hated being touched that way and he well knew my past with Harry and Harry's 'friends' but he still did it anyway. Even after I screamed for him to stop over and over.