Dusk & Dawn

21- saturday night

Frustrated, I picked out the scissors from my drawer. Tears pricked my eyeball as I opened the mouth of the scissors and put a part of my hair into it, like cutting a part of me that I couldn't hold on to. I cut it and whimper in the pain of that little movement. By the time I cut a layer off of my hair, I realized that I had made it worse.

"Naomi!" I yelled.

Silence.

A few minutes later, a knock came on my door and Naomi in her towel peeped into my room, water dripping from her hair as she stepped in.

"What's going on?" She asked me, taking a look around before facing me. "Oh My God! Raine! What have you done?" She walked up to me hastily, taking a stand behind me in the mirror.

"Embracing the changes, you know?" I answered her and forced out a bitter smile but it didn't last before I broke down into a cold sweat. A low sob soon followed and I hated myself for doing it again.

"I am so sorry," Naomi patted my back continuously.

She grabbed the scissors and had me sit in front of the mirror again. She then leveled the hair and cut it off evenly. My short hair dangled a little above my shoulders, my cheekbones a little bit more prominent than before.

"Thank you." I mumbled looking at Naomi in the mirror. She only nodded and hugged me from behind before planting a kiss in my hair.

By the time evening fell and I hadn't seen a reply to my text to Ezra asking him what he was up to. I grew impatient and sat by the window hoping he'd arrive a bit later.

"You waiting for Ezra?" Harper asked me, standing at the window with me, holding onto Lane.

"Yeah, he hasn't replied to my text." I responded, worried.

"I'm driving to the diner to see Paul, I could give you a ride." She offered and I mumbled my thanks to her, the excitement gnawing in my chest.

I waved to Harper before she turned away and I dragged myself along Ezra's driveway, sighting his car from a distance.

I pressed the doorbell and waited patiently knowing his face was going to pop out of the door in a moment. I smiled as the door handle creaked and opened to reveal Ezra.

Ezra's grey eyes were bloodshot as he held onto the door for stability. He widened his eyes consciously as he saw me as if to be sure I was the one.

"Raine, it's you." He slurred his speech and I shook my head in disbelief. "I have been thinking about you."

He was unsteady as he held onto the door so I held his hands and led him in, despite the pain in my body. Ezra didn't drink, he never drank, he'd said it that he didn't drink. I wondered why he was up to no good at the moment.

"You said you didn't drink, Ezra!"

"Yeah, it is my first time. And I promise it is not even worth it. It's not taking the thoughts out of my head"

"What thought had you drinking this way?" I asked him as I balanced him on his chair.

"I really was going to wait for you to tell me, but I cannot hold it in anymore. I am sorry Raine." He slurred again as he held my face and cupped it.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

"I found your hair on my couch, I've seen the port on your arm and I talked my sister into telling me everything." He took his hands from my face and dug his face in it instead.

"What do you know? Ezra?" I asked, noticing the way his eyes appeared glassy to the tears welled up in it.

"That you have the same cancer that killed your Dad. I should have figured it out sooner. I should have." He murmured.

"What would happen if you had known?"

"I'd have approached you the very first time I went to the diner and I saw you. I'd have been there for you."

And I wondered if Ezra knew and understood the effect his words had on my fragile and weak heart.

Nov 23rd