Shade's Of Life

Finding a balance

Seem like I'm balance, on a high rope trying everything to keep myself from falling....

How can you, easy bring my stress levels from 0 to 100 in just a blink of an eye....

Fate is a cruel, weaver twisted my life with yours....

Must my emotions, die without once uttering the words that my heart hides....

Your but a shell of person, I once believed to be a caring sister....

My emotions are cleverly as day, yet I'm forced to play the part of a jester....

Tell me, is it impossible to believe that you broke are bond....

Your indifference, hurt me more then you will ever imagine....

While your cruel, force me to realized that family meant nothing to you....

Tell me, how can you expect me to believe you....

You think, you never meant to hurt me....

Yet, you're happier when my life is in ruins....

Don't try, and tell me it was only a mistake cause you weren't yourself....

There only some much, you can blame on your illness before, it all start being a whole loaded of b*******....

You willing choose, to stop taking your medicine's then, why can't you accept the consequences to your actions....

Tell me, how did you expect are bond to continue when you keep hurting me without hesitation....

Eighteen years, I made excuses for your actions....

Believing wholeheartedly, you never meant to hurt me as badly as you did....

Yet, my pain meant nothing cause your unwillingly to believe you were ever in the wrong....

Tell me sister, if I ever put you through 1/2 stuff you put me....

Would you, see the pain you cause me....

Could you, forgive the person without some type of a apologizing, or for them to feel some type of remorse....

Knowing you, you wouldn't hesitate to cut them from your life....

So tell me sister, why is it acceptable for you to treat me this way....

By: Victoria Santizo

This poem is dedicated.... To accept that she wasn't who I believe her to be.... I was blind cause of my loneliness that, I was willing to accept this fuck up bond cause, I didn't want to be alone.... Turned, a blind eye to every bad thing she did cause  over time I started to believe the lies I told myself.... Recreate a image of a caring sister that would never harm me intensively .... It wasn't, until years later I realized she did everything to sever my bond's with everyone else.... Not willing to give up the power she had over me....  The more she use L to control me, the more I came to resent her....