Fanfiction [MASHIKYU]

2 - 5

Junkyu

"I can't do it," Mashiho declares as he slams the door to my bedroom (he came over today to work on the song). I swivel around in my chair to face him. "I can't write lyrics. I can't do anything. I am useless and I'm sorry you got paired with me."

"Aw, Mashi," I croon as he looks at me with a big pout and slumped shoulders. "You're not useless. You're about to record some incredibly strong vocals for me right now, and I can think of no one else I'd rather be in a pair with."

He sits down in the extra chair I've put next to me in front of my recording equipment and smiles shyly. "Really?"

"Really."

His smile grows, but then drops again as confusion flashes across his face. "Wait, recording? But we don't have any lyrics to record."

It's been a week since our final comeback stage. Mashiho messaged me a couple of days after it saying he was having trouble writing the lyrics, so I decided to try writing some myself since I'd been having a bit of trouble composing. I wasn't sure exactly what to write for a love song since I've never really been in love, but... I did know what having unrequited feelings was like. So as I sat down to write, in my mind I imagined everything I felt for Mashiho but intensified, and soon I was scribbling all over the pages. And after that, composing the actual music came easily.

"I... sort of gave writing the lyrics a go myself," I tell him, and his eyes widen.

"Really? You didn't have to do that. We could've done it together."

"I know. I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like I'm taking over. I just thought it would be easier for you if I did it. You can change anything you want!" I'm aware that I'm talking very fast right now. "I just thought writing would probably cause you more stress than enjoyment, so I did it."

Mashiho looks long and hard into my eyes, and for a moment I'm afraid he can see right through me. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not upset with you. I just... can't believe you did that all for me."

I almost tell him I would do literally anything for him, but I don't. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his phone that he'd placed on the table light up with a notification. I look closer and laugh.

"There's a new fanfiction chapter!" I announce, picking up his phone and reading the notification properly, but then he snatches it away from me.

He shakes his head, stowing his phone away in his pocket. "We can't keep putting off work to read fanfiction! Let's actually do stuff, then read it."

I pout. "You're the one who's always suggesting it, not me."

"Yeah, because I'm stupid. Don't do what I do. So, tell me about the song you wrote."

So I tell him about it. Or at least I try. It's hard to get my words out coherently when I know Mashiho's listening so intently. The song is called Curse; it's about someone who's so in love with someone else that they feel like they've been put under a curse, and are doomed to stay helplessly loving them while the other person feels nothing in return. The song is full of tension; there's silences, whispers, a heavy, steady beat. I think it could have incredible choreography but I don't tell him this, because I'm worried if I suggest choreography he'll laugh at me, because I'm nowhere near his level so it would be a dumb idea to dance together. Instead I show him the lyrics and the demo I haphazardly recorded, my hands shaking a little as I press play because I'm so nervous about his reaction. My heart beats so forcefully in my chest as he listens that I'm worried he'll hear it and it will mess up the beat of the song. He has his eyes shut and his face is expressionless as the song fills the air, so I can't tell what he's thinking, which only makes my heart beat stronger and faster. I'm very aware that it's just me and him in this room, and he's listening to a song I wrote with him in mind, and it makes me very on edge, to say the least.