Chapter 18

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I quickly stood up to pull myself together before Henry reached me. I walked over to the stream and splashed cold water on my face in an effort to hide the fact that I had been crying my eyes out. I ran my damp hands over my hair and down my dress to look less disheveled. Within minutes, Henry was in front of me mounted on top of his horse. I tried to keep my face neutral even though I was panicking inside.

He dismounted and tied his horse up before walking towards me. Since this would probably be the last time I would ever see him, I took a moment to memorize everything about him. His fierce eyes, the confident way he carried himself, and most of all, his smile. That smile was present at the moment and I hated that I was about to erase it.

"I knew I would find you out here. I was worried about you after what happened with my mother. You have to know, I would never let her hurt you. Either would my father. You are now under the king's personal protection." He smirked when he said that as if he was proud of me. He was making this so hard! He reached for my hand and I pulled away. If I felt his touch, I would fall apart. His facial expression morphed into confusion.

"Henry, I need to tell you something." I swallowed as I felt my nerves start to bubble up. He needed to believe everything I was about to say or else my family would be destroyed. I needed to put on the performance of a lifetime.

"Your mother was right about me." I looked down to the ground and tried to calm myself. I took a deep breath and decided to just get the whole lie out at once.

"I need to tell you the truth. My intentions with you are not what you think. When you started to show interest in me, I saw an opportunity. You have to understand my position in life. I am a nobody. And then all of a sudden a prince was noticing me. I saw it as a way out of my circumstances. I wanted more and you were a means to an end. I'm sorry. I feel regret in misleading you especially after you almost lost your father. I cannot continue the ruse."

I looked up at Henry and he now looked equal parts shocked and angry. The pain I felt in my chest was starting to overwhelm me. This was so wrong! He took a step towards me and I took a step back. I needed there to be distance between us.

"I don't believe you. Why are you doing this? Did someone put you up to it? I can help you. Just tell me why you are saying this." I knew he was going to make this hard. I needed to be more convincing.

"Henry, listen to me. No one put me up to this. I'm telling you that I'm not interested in you. To be honest, I can barely tolerate your presence. You are spoiled and privileged and way too cocky. I thought I could pretend to have feelings for you but it's just too hard." He could throw me in the dungeons for speaking to him that way. It was a risk I was willing to take if it meant my family was safe.

He dropped his head and started shaking it back and forth like he refused to believe any of what I just said. When he lifted his head back up, all I saw was rage.

"You're a coward." I felt the wind knocked out of me. His words could wound me more than any sword ever could. The part I hated the most is that he was right.

"I don't believe anything you are saying. The woman I have spent the last week with doesn't care about elevating her station in life. The woman I have come to admire would never deceive someone like this. And the woman that I am falling in love with would....would never throw away....this!" He waved his hand back and forth between us as he said the last part. His words were everything I have always wanted to hear and absolutely devastating at the same time.

"What are you so afraid of Em? Tell me!" He practically shouted at me.

I had no control over the tears that were now falling. The look in his eyes was wild and desperate. It took every bit of willpower I had not to fall into his arms and tell him everything.

"I don't love you." There. I said it. And it must have had my intended effect because he looked shattered.

"Em, please. Why are you doing this?" He was whispering at this point.

"Just go Henry! I never want to see you again. If you cared about me the way you say you do, you would do as I wish. Now leave!" I yelled at him. I can't believe I actually yelled at him. The change in him was immediate. It was like a stone wall went up between us.

"Are you sure this is what you want Emily. If I walk away from you right now, it's for good." His voice was quiet but I could hear the intensity behind it. He sounded like his father.
All I could do was nod my head yes. I was afraid my voice would betray me. He stared at me for a moment before turning and stomping back to his horse. He untied the beast and swung himself up before galloping away. When I knew he was out of sight, I collapsed again and returned to my sobbing.

When I felt like I had cried every last tear in my body, I pulled myself up and noticed that the sun was starting to descend. I still had to go back to the castle and pack some things before I left for the Arbor village. I ran back and somehow made it to my room without running into anyone. I packed a bag with some clothes and books. Then I rushed down to my surgery to grab some supplies, including what was left of the serum I made with the midnight bloom. I quickly scribbled a note letting my family know I was going to visit Alva for a while. Eddie would probably be the one to find it. I'm sure my aunt and uncle would be furious with me but I had no choice. I'll take whatever punishment they give me when I get back if it means they are still here to come back to. I swung by the kitchen to grab some biscuits on my way out to the stables. Once I was up on my horse, I took one last look at the castle I've always called home. I had a feeling it was never going to be the same. With that, I turned towards the woods and away from any chance at happiness in my life.

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