Strive // Kai Parker

<15>

The small people had been sent with their father leaving Caroline a free woman for me and Bonnie to spend time with. We started with a healthy chat about Carolines life so far with children and how she had adjusted to forming her schedule including Ric in it. We then moved to lunch where i explained certain aspects of my job at the compound.

It was safe to say Bonnie was surprised at how much i actually do, how many responsibilities i have. She thought when i left with Kai it would be winging it until we reached the top, little did she know Kai had everything planned out for success. Until we were thrown off.

"I really can't believe it, i mean, the thought of you being a mother. I'm just- I'm so happy for you." Caroline gushed wrapping my hands in her own. I smiled shaking my head.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later right?" I shrugged, i was alive, i was at my peak. Unlike the majority of my former friends i had the ability to have children, i just hadn't expected it now. It was welcome though.

"I think i needed this? Something to bring me and Kai together indefinitely, i know he needed this, wanted this. We both did." I looked down shaking my head as if i was wrong to say my next words.

"We both need the love that only family can offer, don't get me wrong. Bonnie i love you with everything i have but i really need this child, i just hadn't realised how much until now." She looked down as well now, gripping my hand with what i couldn't only decipher as shame.

"We love you, you know?" Caroline asked softly making me nod swiftly.

"I know, i know. Does it make me greedy to want more? To need it?" She shook her head as my phone blared. I glanced down to see Kai's contact, sheepishly i excused my self.

"Hey." I answered.

"Hey babe, how's everything going?" Kai asked making me smile.

"It was getting awkward, to touchy for me. You rang at the perfect time." Kai hummed letting out a chuckle.

"Then you will be happy to know i'm on my way to pick you up. The Doctor rang, says she's ready for us." I let out a nervous breath of laughter.

"Okay, I'll wait outside for you. Love you." 

"Love you to Azzy." I hung up turning to my sister and Care.

"I have to go, it was nice seeing you Care. Bye Bon." They both got up to hug me, wrapping us all in a group hug. I smiled embracing them before turning and making my way outside the grill. 

I don't know if Kai had broken the speed limit or just lied about when he left but he was already waiting outside when i got out there. I hopped in, tapping nervously on the dashboard as he set off without a word. As per usual the soft hum of the radio played in the background. I barely noticed us pulling into the parking lot. How long had it been?

Kai rounded to my side of the car, linking his hand with mine as my other rested on my stomach. Which remained ever the same.

"Don't worry Azzy, I'm here with you. Forever remember?" I nodded swallowing harshly. He lead me inside, talking with the receptionist before finally leading us to one of the scariest rooms i have ever been in. With the most terrifying chair i had ever seen.

"Hello honey, are we ready?" The Doctor asked me, with a swift nod she had taken my hand and lead me over to the chair. I nearly yelped out loud when it lent back. 

"So this is your first scan?" I think her name was Doctor Leaner, i nodded as she lifted my shirt with a questioning look. As if to ask for permission, Kai was snickering behind her at my awkward actions, if the lady wasn't here i would have motused him across the room.

When she applied the gel i gasped nearly swatting her hand away, after a moment it warmed and i settled again. This was it, the first interaction i would have with my child i would get to see them, then soon enough hear their heart beat. And then the gender? That enables the name stage, i felt the emotions stir within me, excitement, happiness and over all love. I wondered what they will be like, who's eyes will they have, who's-

"I can't see anything."

In sync mine and Kai's eyes snapped to the screen to see in fact nothing.

"No that can't be possible, Enzo heard the heartbeat." I announced looking over to Kai, he stalked forward telling the woman to scan over again, she did so and there truly was nothing.

"What does this mean? Did i-" She hushed me calmly as my frantic nerves began to rise.

"No, don't think about it dear. You haven't lost a baby, there's no signs to say there was one. Your in prime condition, if you did have one there would have been no issues." She explained as tears began to build.

"No this can't be happening, i was so- i needed this, we needed this. Please you have to look again you have to find them." The screen became a blur as she set the equipment down with a sigh. 

"Sweetie i know this must be hard for you-" I shook my head in denial sitting up as i latched onto Kai.

"No please, really i can't do this. I thought- i thought we were going to be- Please Kai, do something-" Kai looked up from where he had been glaring at the floor his eyes trailing to my stomach before flitting back to my eyes.

"There is always the opportunity to become pregnant, you both are at your primes." Doctor Leaner announced in a sort of mediating manner.

"I thought... We had... We were-" I cut my self off as the tears began to drop, words weren't rational.

"Kai-" His eyes were still intent on me before they darted around, my stomach, the machines, the doctor.

"The Magnolia."