𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜 [𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫] ✔️

𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 [10]

WARNING: angst

     I CAN'T LOSE HIM, WE JUST FOUND OUT IT WAS A HIM, It's been a week since we found the letter. I couldn't stop thinking about it, no matter what they said or how they tried to reassure me. They couldn't promise me my baby was gonna be okay, we break those promises all the time. I set my hand on my belly, singing quietly to him. During the week Hotch had made Spencer and I take off we had gotten the nursery ready.

"Y/N?" Spencer called out.
"I'm in the nursery" I called back.

Spencer walked in and sat next to me, kissing my cheek as he hummed quietly. He was constantly worrying about me and I didn't know how to stop him from worrying even though that is exactly what I was doing. I looked up at him and smiled a little before he placed a kiss on my belly bump.

"Hi little man...dada's back" He spoke.
"You're adorable" I mumbled.
"Have you been treating mommy well?" He questioned.

As he said that Leo kicked and I laughed a little, he was not very active unless Spencer was talking. He loved his dada's voice, he loved everything about him and it was the cutest thing. I smiled as I let Spencer talk for as long as he wanted, him talking to Leo calmed me and just made me wanna fall asleep so I did.

"Y/N? I'm gonna go make dinner alright?" He mumbled.
"Yeah go ahead" I smiled.

I finally got up and made my way to the kitchen, I decided to watch him cook and I'm so glad he learned how to cook cause lord knows we would be doomed ordering takeout ever night for dinner. We'd have a heart attack by the time we were 56 and Leo wouldn't make it past 5 I bet. I giggled to myself and Spencer quirked a brow at me.

"Sorry I was just thinking of how grateful I am that you learned how to cook" I smiled.
"Yeah feeding our child takeout 24/7 probably wouldn't be the best..." He laughed.
"That's what I was thinking" I giggled.

Spencer smiled widely and soon plated the food, he had made Spaghetti with garlic bread. He knew I was craving it lately which I found real sweet. I smiled big at the food, god was I hungry. As soon as he handed me my plate I began to eat. Spencer let out a small laugh before he began to eat his own food. Once we were done eating, Spencer cleaned up and told me to get ready for bed which I did. I walked to our room and gathered my pajamas and put them on, humming in delight with how comfy they are. I climbed into bed and scrolled through movies on netflix before settling on one. Soon Spencer came and got changed, crawling into bed next to me, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead as he rubbed my belly bump. I quickly fell asleep, worrying took a lot out of me.

The next day when I woke up Spencer wasn't next to me and I started to panic. I quickly got up and began to look around. Where is he? Where did he go? What happened? I looked everywhere in the apartment and he wasn't here. I called his phone and it went straight to voicemail. I didn't know what to do. I called Penelope and Derek and they immediately came over. Once they got there I rushed over to them and explained everything. Penelope nodded and tried to track his phone but she couldn't it had to have been shut off.

"I-I can't do this" I looked at them.
"We got this y/n..it's gonna be okay" Penelope whispered, pulling me into a hug.

I nodded and sighed as I chewed on my lip, setting my hand on my stomach. Where are you Spencer? I sat on the couch and fiddled with my fingers nervously. Derek sat next to me and began to rub my back.

"I called the rest of the team y/n..we need all hands on deck especially because of Zugzwang" He sighed.
"I know I just panicked this morning.." I frowned.
"I know you did..its okay y/n" He whispered.

A few minutes passed and everyone arrived and began asking me question. I didn't know how to answer besides 'he was with me when we went to bed.' My eyes watered and before I knew it tears began falling down my cheeks. JJ came over and frowned, pulling me close and kissing my forehead.

"We will find him y/n I can promise you that" She whispered.
"I know we will but I-I need him now JJ...I need him now!" I sobbed.
"Shh y/n..." She frowned as she held me.

Hours passed and we still didn't find him. Soon Hotch came out of our room with a knife covered in blood, my eyes widened. Whose blood is that? Hotch put it in a bag and let out a groan, he didn't look happy whatsoever.

"Get the dna results on that asap." He demanded.
"Yes sir." One of the dna analysts said.

I walked over to him and fiddled with my fingers before looking up at him. Did I wanna ask him if he thinks this was gonna end well? No, am I gonna do it? Yeah. Maybe it'll give me some sort of peace of mind.

"How do you think this is gonna end Hotch?" I asked.
"With us finding him y/n I promise" Hotch replied.
"I'm trusting you" I said, wiping a tear from my eye.

I didn't know how to cope, I was tired and I knew I still had to care for myself and our son. He needed me in this moment. I walked to the kitchen and began to make a sandwich, Emily offered to let me stay at her place so that is where I am right now. When I was done I took a bite and sat down, Emily came over and sat down.

"How are you?" She asked.
"Good. Actually not good, I can't sleep without him..I don't know how I'm gonna sleep." I whimpered.
"Here sleep with me, I know I'm not Spencer but I'll hold you" Emily offered.
"Okay.." I mumbled.

Authors Note: I hope you guys liked this chapter! What do you think happened to Spencer? Is he gonna be okay?