"I'm sorry"

07

We stopped in front of some apartments.

"Why are we here?" I asked very confused

"Come on. Come inside. I want to show you something." Bucky said very excitedly.

I was very confused when we walked in. We walked up some stairs and he pulled out a key. An apartment key. He pulled out an apartment key. Was this our apartment? He put the key into the door and unlocked it. He walked in and I followed with him shutting the door after me.

"Welcome home." Bucky said with some excitement.

"Wait, are you serious? This place is ours?" I said with some shock.  He pulled me into his arms and wrapped his arms around my back before giving me a kiss and simply saying yes, our home. We went back to Steve's house and packed up my room. I left the stuff Mrs. Rodgers had bought for my bed just incase she needed it or someone else ended up staying there.

After we finished at the Rodger's house we moved onto Bucky's old place and packed up his stuff. We got back to our apartment and took all the boxes inside. We went to the store to pick up some stuff for our room and some groceries.

When we got back I had went to our room and put the new sheets on the bed and placed our new bed covers on as well. I put my cloths away and then his as well. I unpacked the small amount of boxes I had retrieved from Kass's house a couple months ago. We spent all day unpacking and placing everything where we wanted it to go. By the end of the day we had put everything away and hung up all of our stuff. 

He pulled me into his arms and I brushed my hands through his soft brown hair. He pulled me into our new shared room and gave me a kiss. He walked out of the room so I could change into my sleep ware. He walked in when I was done and stroked his hand through my long blonde hair. I looked into his icy blue eyes as he looked into my warm amber eyes. I pulled him to bed and gave him a soft, passionate kiss and he quickly returned the favor.

I snuggled up to his warm touch and put my head on his shoulder. I quickly fell asleep knowing I was home. He was my home. It didn't matter where I was as long as I was there with Bucky.

                                                                                  5 years later 

"Seriously! Without even telling me! James you know how I feel about communication." I felt betrayed. He knew how I felt about it. He knew how I felt about communication. Even after 5 years he still couldn't consider me in all his choices, about how I would feel about things. I only resort to using his first name when I was upset. And he knew that. He was my home. But now it didn't feel much like it.

"I'm sorry Rose. I knew I should've told you. Really I'm sorry." Bucky blurted at me. Causing me to flinch. I still fought demons from my past. He knew that. "Oh. Rose I'm sorry for raising my voice." the apology sounded sincere. But I wasn't staying tonight. I was going to Steve's. This wouldn't be the first time we fought and I ended up there. It was happening more often though.

"I'm going to Steve's. I need to cool off." I sounded defeated. I love him, but sometimes I didn't feel like the feeling was being returned.

"Rose." He tried to talk to me but I was to upset. I walked off with some tears running down my face. Steve ad really started to feel like family these last couple months.

I walked out of the apartment grabbing my key. I knew I would come back. I just didn't know when. I felt my heart break. We weren't to far from Steve's house so I walked, just like I always would when this happened. I got to his door step and knocked. He let me in, he knew what was wrong. He could see it in my eyes. No longer being warm and filled with joy, but mysterious and filled with pain. He wish he could stop seeing my eyes so filled with pain. 

He pulled me into a tight hug as I broke down into his arms. He took me to my old room which was becoming quite familiar again. I always stopped to look to Mrs. Rodgers room before entering mine. She had died 2 years ago. It was hard for Steve, it was hard for all of us. I walked into my room and sat down on my bed. I felt numb. I felt broken.

"Bucky, seriously not now." Steve had called out. Bucky had followed me. he never really did. He knew he messed up good this time.

"Come on, let me through. I need to talk to her. I messed up. Steve please." Bucky was choking down some tears. I could hear it. I had already let mine loose as I crawled into my bed at Steve's place. Steve had finally given into Bucky's pleas and let him in.

"Rose. Doll. I'm so sorry sunshine. I should've let you know before I went through with enlisting. I'm extremely sorry." He chocked back some tears as I turned to look at him tying to hold in my own tears, finally letting them loose when he called me sunshine. I loved that nickname. it made me feel loved, and he knew it.

"It's ok." I said faintly while silently crying. He sat down next to me and held my hand. He saw I was hurt. Him just being there made me know he still loved me.

"You know I love you right?" he knew I needed to hear that.

"Ya. I do." I said, once again quietly. My warm amber eyes that have been filled with joy returned. Still a bit hurt I agreed to go back home with him. We stepped out side Steve's house and headed home. Steve had been listening to our conversation. 

"Bucky enlisted?" I heard him say softly as we walked out of his house.