Witness

44| Alarm

Another thunder cracked the sky so loud that I couldn't hide my flinch even if I wanted to. I pulled my blanket tighter around my body in an effort to hide my trembling. "I'm doing okay," I lied.

He blinked at me, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "I'm happy to come sit with you... if you need."

I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but an even bigger part of me wanted him to come in; I needed him to come in.

Wordlessly, I opened the door wider, sitting down on the futon and throwing the blanket back over myself. He followed silently behind me.

"Can I sit?" He asked.

"I don't know," I shook, "can you?"

He shot me a very unamused expression, rolling his eyes before sitting down. "You're gonna be snarky with me?"

"Just a joke," I deadpanned, turning the volume up on my TV. I supposed I should have known better than to joke with him. We didn't have that kind of relationship anymore.

"What are you watching?" He asked, leaning back against the futon. He was sitting as far away from me as he could possibly get.

I shrugged. "Grey's Anatomy." I had seen these episodes before, but if I was being honest, it was damn near impossible to pay attention to anything with this storm going on.

I pulled my blanket impossibly tighter around myself as thick raindrops pounded against my dorm room window. We watched my show in silence.

Though the thunderstorm took up most of my attention, having Jax beside me was proving to be a different form of distraction.

It was such a strange contradiction; on one hand, his presence made me feel safe and comforted, but on the other, I resented his close proximity and distant demeanor. I could smell his signature cologne, and all I wanted to do was bury myself in his chest.

It was torturous.

Another thunder rumbled, and the rain pelted harder against the glass as the wind gusted. I sniffled, quickly wiping my tears with my palm.

"Em... you doing okay?" Jaxon's deep voice drifted to me.

I wasn't okay; I was sure he knew that. I just wasn't sure how much he even cared anymore. "Like you even care," I said, my voice quiet.

If he really cared, he would hold me. He would throw his rule book aside to comfort me when I needed it most; not sit stiffly beside me.

He sighed, furrowing his brows as he locked his eyes on me. "Is that another joke? You know that I care."

I fixed my gaze back onto his. "If you cared, you wouldn't let some dumb rule get in the way of what you really want to do right now."

He stared at me for another moment, and he looked like he was about to respond when we were interrupted. An alarm started blaring so loudly that I literally jumped from the couch.

"What the hell?!" I said; placing a palm over my chest as if it would calm my rapidly beating heart.

"Fuck," Jax cussed, standing up as well. "That's the fire alarm. We need to leave."

I stood still; my legs felt completely frozen in place. "I... I can't."

He took a hesitant step towards me. "You have to. We don't have a choice. The building could be on fire."

I shook my head, my eyes going wide. "No... you don't understand! I can't go outside during a thunderstorm... I... I've tried before, and I panic every time. What if I pass out? I... It's happened before..."