Love of Sweet Crime

DRACO

DRACO'S POV
The days only got even more lonely without them. I found out that Blaise kissed her and I was mad, he knew I liked her but he didn't know I kissed her. I know he wouldn't have done it if he knew. I was being a hypocrite. I knew he liked her and I still kissed her. I shouldn't be mad but I am. I come late to class and leave early to do my tasks. Those tasks. Sydney didn't know I was a death eater. What if she hated me when she found out.

I grow uncomfortable in my seat at the great hall. I look across from me to see her. She gives a soft smile and I do the same. Maybe it was good I was keeping my distance. It would keep her safe and it would be harder to get caught like this. Even though I tried not to miss her, I did.

I lay in my bed thinking of her. Everyday I thought of her. Kissing her warm soft lips. Holding her. Her smile. Her touch. Her laugh. I get hard at the thought of her voice. Touching myself thinking of her touching me. Impatient. I wanted her. Everyday I wanted her. To feel her. Getting closer by the second. Hearing her moan my name. Closer. Wanting me. Touching me. Yelling out my name. I grunt quietly as I finish.
I clean myself and get up to wash my hands. I shouldn't be so desperate for a girl, but I was.

I walk down the halls over to the room of requirements to fix the cabinet. I spend hours there. Frustrated at the fact that it wouldn't work and they wanted it done soon. I wanted to rest. A couch comes out behind me and I sit down with my head it my hands. I wanted to see them again. Go out with them again. Do stupid shit with them again. But instead I waste my time being mad and drowning in this filth of a family. No, my father. Not my mother. Never her. These tasks were stressful. Fixing the cabinet was one thing, but killing Dumbledore was a whole other level. I had no reason other than that was what the dark lord wanted.

I walk out of the room after trying to mend the cabinet. As I walk in a fast pace I bump into someone.

" Watch it." We say to each other in sync

The voice was familiar. It was masculine, deep with a thick accent. I look up to see him. Blaise. He looks at me as if he were happy about it but covered it up.

" Oh Uhm sorry," I say

" Yeah no worries." He replies.

And with that we walk away from each other. Fuck.

I walk up to the astronomy tower. I sit by the railing and look at the sky. I was mad. Mad at Blaise. Mad at my father. Mad at Voldemort. Mad at Sydney. I stop. No I'm not. I was mad at myself. Mad at myself for ignoring Blaise. Mad at myself for not defending myself or my mother from my father. Mad at myself for making the wrong choice in joining the death eaters. And mad at myself for not confessing to Sydney sooner.

All I can do is sit mad. All I can do is think about Blaise and Syd. Think about talking back to my father. Think about betraying the death eaters. My dark mark begins to burn.
I look down to see that it has an outline burning red. I pull down my sleeve and run to my dorm. I enter the restroom and turn on the sink. Water burning hot. I try to scrub the mark over and over but it doesn't work. I hear footsteps but I don't pay attention. I continue rubbing it hard over and over until it's almost bleeding. The footsteps grow closer. Tears fall off my eyes as the mark doesn't go away. The door flings open. Blaise rushes in as soon as he sees what I'm doing.

" Hey HEY NO NO STOP!" He yells trying to pull my hand away. I shove him towards the door.

" Fuck off!" I yell.

He doesn't stop. He grabs my arm and rips it away from the one with the mark. He pushes me against the wall with his arm against my neck.

" STOP IT. THAT WONT FIX ANYTHING. IT WONT!" He yells

I breakdown and put my head on his chest.

" I'm sorry mate but don't hurt yourself!" He says.

I pull myself away and slide down to the floor putting my head against the wall. Blaise sits next to me.

" I don't know what to do anymore man. It stings everyday. It makes my stomach turn and my wrist feels as if someone is slicing it over and over while pouring alcohol on it," I close my eyes breathing heavily.

" I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you go through but this," he picks up my arm.
" This isn't gonna help. It'll only make it worse."

" Th- Thank you,"
" I'm Sorry... for Uhm getting mad." I say to him without making eye contact.

" It's okay babe i know you love me. You'll always come back." He says sarcastically.

I lift my head, glaring daggers at this cocky git, and raising my fist to punch him on the shoulder. " Fuck off."

He laughs. This felt good. He was there when I was hurting and I acted like I didn't know him when I saw him in the halls.

We sat there just thinking on the restroom floor. Water running and a scrub on the floor. My mark's burn fades since he distracted me. I was lucky for people like them. Two people who actually care about my existence besides my mom.

Sometimes feeling something, even pain was better than numbness. Not feeling takes over your whole body and the things you used to love, you hate. It bores you. The people you loved, bore you. I didn't care if I was mad or sad or in pain. As long as it ended with them next to me.