Love of Sweet Crime

chapter 10

TWO DAYS BEFORE HOGWARTS
Draco found out that Blaise kissed me. He was upset but I told him I was confused since this was all happening so quick. He wasn't mad at me but mad at Blaise. They left back to their houses and I was left alone at my house because my mom comes home in a week. Me and the boys haven't talked since they left and I wondered if they would stay mad at each other.

I got my things ready for school. I organized my robes, got my supplies and tried to do as much as possible to distract myself from the fact that we literally robbed a muggle bank and are keeping the money hidden in my house, used magic outside of Hogwarts and the boys aren't talking. I drop myself backwards on the bed as I think. I'm exhausted. So many things happened over summer. So much pain, love, desire.

FIRST DAY AT HOGWARTS
I exit the train after sitting alone. I missed them. What did I do wrong? Should I have talked to them all about it or apologized. I walk forward and see Hermione, Ginny and Luna. I immediately run to them and hug them with a huge smile.

" I missed you guys so much!" I say with pure happiness.

" We missed you too. Oh and by the way, what happened at the event. You kinda went off and then left." Hermione says laughing while she talks.

" Oh just you know, I left early because.. I had something to do," yeah real smart Sydney.

She nods and we all walk together heading to the school. As we enter the great hall there is loud chatter and laughing. I look around but still no Blaise or Draco. We separate going to our tables. When I sit down, the boys aren't there yet.

I pick at my food with my head in my other hand. When I look up I see Blaise and Draco sitting down but far away from each other. Draco looks at me first with no expression until he realizes who I was and then smiles softly. I smile back. I look over to Blaise and he turns his head and gives a half smile. I smile softly in return. We all eat our food and then head to our dorms.

I realize I share a dormitory with the rest of the Slytherin girls which makes me lose my joy. We enter the common room, boys go to the boys dormitory and girls go to theirs. Everyone in their groups talking while I was alone. Usually Blaise, Draco and I run with each other down the halls yelling after morning announcements and then get detention with each other but obviously, not this year.

I enter the my dorm when I hear Astoria laughing at me. I turn to see her sitting with Pansy but Pansy doesn't laugh and instead just looks away. I close the curtains to my bed and lay down to think.

A MONTH LATER
Everyday slowly felt the same. No excitement. No arguments. No Draco or Blaise. We only shared smiles in the hallway but it wasn't enough. I felt so lonely. After two months of absolutely doing the dumbest shit together, we barely even went near each other. Maybe it was better so we wouldn't get caught but the feeling without them was terrible.

I went home everyday after school two weeks after school started because of Astoria making fun of me. Pushing me. Since the boys were never around, I had no one to protect me like they used to. My mom still hadn't come home but I didn't care. I didn't want to see her.

One day I came home around 5 pm to see my mom putting food into the fridge.

" Oh you're back?" I ask

" Looks like it. I mean it's my house after all isn't it." She says back.

I nod and start to walk downstairs.

" Why are you wearing that?" She says before I can walk two steps more.

" what?"

" Yeah why are you wearing that."

I was wearing jeans and a long sleeve v neck.

" Oh today we didn't have class so we could wear whatever."

She looks me up and down.

" Why don't you wear a skirt? It's far more proper and feminine,"

I take a deep breath and walk back down.
" Well mom if I wore a skirt you would say something about my legs wouldn't you?"

" Oh don't talk to me like that. If you didn't want me to say something about your legs," she walks up to me and hands me a dish of fish and salad. " you should've been working out instead of partying with those boys. I don't want you talking to them anymore,"

" Well that isn't your choice and I wouldn't worry about that at the moment." I look down and my voice fades.

She lifts my chin. " Awe I pity. It's a good thing, they were a bad influence. Now go upstairs and eat."

I nod and run upstairs. When I get to my room I break down. Sliding down my door, tears rushing off my eyes and I place the dish down. The feeling was so suffocating. My own mother talked to me liked that. I loved those boys and everyday I missed them. Her talking about them made me feel so empty just like I was in school.

THE NEXT MORNING
I fell asleep on the floor. The food was still in the spot I left it. I didn't eat but I wasn't really hungry so it didn't matter.

I walk over to the mirror and the moment I look, it feels as if all the air was taken out of my body. I fall to the floor crying. No one was here. Mom left early and if she was here, it wasn't like she was going to care. I think of everything I did. The boys I did it with. The hatred of my mom. The death eaters coming back. I was so angry but the feeling was better than numbness. I calm down and walk over to my bag and pull out a cigarette. I light it and inhale through my mouth. I sit at a small stool looking out the window. I didn't care if I would be late. I just wanted time. Time to not hate life as much as I did right now.