Happy Mistakes? - Phan

Chapter Four

*Phil’s POV*

I used Dan’s focus on the tv to my advantage, and studied his face. Those full pink lips, his beautiful brown eyes you could just stare into for hours (of course I couldn’t, because I’m sure Dan would be weirded out by it), that soft brown hair that just begged to have hands run through it. The soft flickering lights of the tv gave his face an unearthly appearance. He was beautiful, and amazing, and I couldn’t have him. Why would he ever like someone like me back?

I was so lost in my own depressing thoughts that I didn’t even notice Dan turning his head and staring right back. He cleared his throat, and I jumped in shock.

“Enjoying the view or something Phil?” he questioned, his smirk making a reappearance.

“I- I don’t… W-what? N-no I mean-” he cut me off, smirk growing larger.

“Relax. I was just kidding. Jesus Phil lighten up a bit,” he shook his head and turned his attention back to the tv. I tried to do the same, but couldn’t stop the anxious thoughts that were running a marathon in my head. What if he never likes me back? What if he remembers the party last night and decides to move out? What if I never see him again? What if he gets a girlfriend and I have to act like I like her? What if I can’t and ruin Dan’s happiness? Why do I even think I’m good enough for him? I’m obviously not. He’s so kind, and caring, and beautiful, and I’m just… Phil. Boring, ugly, stupid Phil.

Eventually I can’t take it anymore and I excuse myself, saying that i’m going into the kitchen to make some popcorn. I try to walk calmly to the kitchen, my hands shaking and my throat burning from the effort of holding back tears. Once in the kitchen I lean against the counter. So what if he never likes you back, or leaves, or gets a relationship. Just enjoy his company for now, and let the future bring what it wants. You have him right now, and while it may not be exactly how you wish it was, it sure as hell is better than nothing.

I straighten up, my breathing steady once more, throat no longer burning, and set to work making popcorn and heating up some hot chocolate. It was so cold in this place. Dan and I really should fix that. It was only November, and could only get colder from here on out. The microwave beeped, signaling that the popcorn was done. Microwave. What a strange word. I ripped open the bag and poured it into a separate bowl, placing another bag in the microwave and setting the time.

The milk was near boiling on the stove, so I turned if off and poured it into two separate mugs. I walked over to the pantry, got out some hot chocolate mix, ripped open the package, and stirred the contents into the warm milk. A delicious scent filled the air, a wonderful combination of chocolate and buttery popcorn. I breathed in deeply, trying to savor the scent before my nose adjusted. The microwave beeped once again, and I took out the second bag of popcorn. I contemplated throwing in a third since Dan hadn’t eaten hardly anything all day, but I decided against it.

I picked up the bowl and managed to hold onto the mugs simultaneously. I began to turn towards the door, but before I had managed to fully rotate, I caught sight of someone standing in the doorway. I jumped in shock, miraculously managing not to spill a single thing.

“OH MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL DAN. WHO’S THE NINJA NOW YOU JERK!” I shouted at him, heart still pounding like a drum in my chest.

“Apparently we’re both ninjas today Phil,” he said between laughing fits. He finally calmed down enough to say, “Do you need a hand with,” he gestured toward the stuff I was carrying, “all that?”

“Well, since you offered, yeah I could use a hand if you don’t mind,” I said a bit sharply, still mad at him for scaring me like that.

“Of course I don’t mind. Here, give me the popcorn, and you keep the mugs,” he said, reaching out and gently taking the popcorn from my arms.

“So, exactly how long were you standing there watching me?” I asked him, somehow managing to maneuver the popcorn into his arms without spilling the hot cocoa all over our the tiles that made up our kitchen floor. He simply shrugged, not bothering to answer. I huffed in annoyance.

“DDAAAAAAANNNNNN! Please tell MMEEEEEEE! I WILL DUMP THIS HOT COCOA ON YOUR HEAD!” I shouted at him. He simply smirked at me.

“Only if you me what happened at the party last night, because obviously something happened. You’ve been jumpy and un-Phil-like all day,” he replied setting the popcorn down and folding his arms. I set the mugs down and crossed my arms, mimicking his pose.

“Dan, I’m telling you, nothing happened last night. Nothing noteworthy anyways,” I said, looking him dead in the eye in an attempt to convince him that I’m not lying. He clearly doesn’t buy it, however, and just snorts in disbelief.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Let’s just go watch Doctor Who. I think Sherlock’s coming on after this episode as well,” he let it go, and I gratefully accepted the change in topic.

“Did they say which episode?” I asked, praying that it wouldn’t be that one. He grimaced and nodded.

“Yeah. The Reichenbach Fall…” he said, not looking too pleased. Oh great. Better grab some tissues.

We recollected our food and drinks and headed back to the living room, while I tried to prepare my emotions for the ride to come.