The American And The Russian (Benny Watts) [The Queens Gambit]

Part 21 The Way I feel when I'm With you

"Id rather just stay here benny, With you"

"You're really happy to stay here with me?"

"Of course I am I've been here for months"
"I know I just kinda assumed once the heat was off you'd... I don't know, run off somewhere else"

"Why would I ever wanna go anywhere else, Then here with you"

"Really? Not anywhere?"

"Knowhere in the world can me feel the way I feel when I'm with you"

"Aww, Y/n... thats beautiful" He smiled giving my lips a little kiss "Well, You can stay with me as long as you like"

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do" He smiled "Y/n?"

"Yes benny?"

"I don't wanna go anywhere unless I can take you with me, I want you to stay here with me, I don't want to be without you"

"Why not?"

"Because nothing else in the world is better then the way I feel when I'm with you, Honeybunny"

"Aww benny" I smiled tightly squeezing him

"Y/n I uhhh... I" He began

"Yes benny?"

"I - I wanna tell you something"

"Tell me what?" I asked

"I uhh, I really like you"

"Aww I really like you too benny"

"Did... you wanna be my girlfriend?"

"I'd like that" I smiled widely he smiled back giving me a kiss as we got closer and cosier

"Y/n I wanna tell you something else"

"What?"

"I uhh I've never had a girl stay here with me this long"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean like at most a couple of days not... months like you have"

"So?"

"So, is there anything to make you more comfortable if you're staying here?"

"I wish you didn't go out so much, this place gets lonely"

"I know, I'm trying to figure out not having to go shopping every like two days,"

"Buy more?"

"I know but I can only buy so much honey bunny, I am not that strong you know I can only carry so much home with me"
"You could always go to the bigger store outside of town in the car?"

"That's not a bad idea I guess, but... then I'm further away and it'll take longer because I'm driving further, and a bigger shop and all. I don't want to leave you too long all by yourself"

"Isn't leaving for a few hours once a week going to be better than an hour every other day?"

"You're right, You're always right" he says kissing my head "it's funny"
"What is?"

"You're probably the first girl I've had to sleep in my bed without... you know"

"Without what?"

"Without... having sex with her"

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?"

"That we... haven't."

"Y/n its okay '' he says holding me softly "If your not ready that's fine it doesn't bother me that we don't, You've never done that before it's fine. I'll wait as long as you want me to"

"What if... I don't ever want to?"

"Then we won't"

"What if I did want to, But I was scared?"
"Then we could, if you wanted to, I'd be slow and gentle with you if you wanted me to"

"Do you, want to?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly"

"I do, Very... Very badly" He mutters running his fingers up my waist "But, Not till you're ready." He says kissing my cheek

"But that's not fair on you, You want to its not fair I keep denying you what you want"

"Y/n, Alright yes I want to, you're beautiful, you're my girlfriend, you're living here with me of course I want to. But I won't enjoy it if you're not happy too, I couldn't bear to do that to you if you didn't want it to. I can wait, till your ready" He says "and not a moment before"

"If your sure"

"Of course I'm sure" he shrugs "Besides I always have the bathroom"

"What?"

"What do you think I do when we've been... snuggling or kissing and I, You know"

"In the bathroom?"

"I didn't want to bother you or, wake you up or anything."

"You've just been, in the bathroom anytime we?"

"Pretty much yeah, I can't exactly like wait for you to go out"

"True, I didn't think you did"
"I do, sometimes the shower too. When I'm lazy"

"Is that why it takes you like an hour to shower?"

"Sometimes" He nods "Do you ever... while I'm gone?"

"No, I don't know how" I blushed

"You don't know how?" He laughs and I nodded "They filled your head with nothing but chess and ballet didn't they?" he ask and I nodded "My poor little honeybunny" He laughs giving me tighter hug "You sweet little thing" He laughs kissing my head as we cuddled

"Benny?" I asked after a moment of our quiet cuddle

"Yes y/n?"

"I want to tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Tell you about Moscow" I told him