Obsession // Taehyung Fanfiction// 18+

Chapter 17 - Tears

I try not to show anything, or breath too loudly,  listening him talk about this family for the first time since we met. 

"Jung-In likes to gamble and constantly falls into depts. There have been people coming to our house, demanding money we didn't have since I can remember. And often they didn't come alone. They don't care who it was that spend it. They beat you anyway, just because you opened the door."

"Then there is Seong-min. He's only three years older than me, but by far the worst. My other brothers are no strangers to violence- not with he father we grew up with, but Seong-Min is a twisted, cruel monster. He lives, only to make other people suffer. It might sound like I'm overreacting, but I mean it, Y/N. He's a sick human being. 
The only one worse than him is our father."

I met his brothers once, and for some reason, I had no trouble believing him. There had just been something in their eyes- or rather something missing. 

"My brothers are nothing more than instruments and my father the puppeteer. 
He's been pulling their strings since they were little, nurturing their violence's and obedience at the same time. They would do anything for him. They have. And even when he was in prison, he pulled their strings to keep me and everyone else in check."

He was breathing heavily, as if racing the memories of his past, but unable to escape. 
I couldn't even imagine to grow up in such a family. 
With no love and no one to look out for you. 
But even though Tae never talked about them, I had already guessed that they were horrible people. This was not exactly news and certainly did not explain anything. 

"But-"I started, keeping my voice low and calm, hoping to comfort him a little. "Isn't that all the more reason to get far away from them? Leave it all behind?"

His eyes closed for a moment, and there was the sadness I had seen earlier. 
My stomach dropped. 
"There is no escaping them, Y/N. My father has made some powerful friends while doing his time. He would find me, I'm sure. And the truth is- I'm too afraid."

A rattling breath left him, as if it was a truth he hated to admit, but would, only because it was me in front of him. 
"Why?" 

A tear escaped his eyes, rolling over his cheek and fell onto my bed while he said: 
"Because my sister tried to do that." 

I sucked in a sharp breath. 
"You have a sister?" 
I didn't know what I had expected, but it wasn't this. 
Or what followed. 

"No," Taehyung's voice whispered, the pain raw in his voice. 
"I had a sister. She just turned seventeen when she tried to run away. I was twelve."

One year before we met. 
He had had a sister and I didn't even know about it. 
"What happened?"
My voice was nothing more than a far away echo. 

He sighed, lowering his head as another tear fell. 
"She was the only one who ever showed me love. The only one who held me when I cried or told me I was worth something. But she couldn't stay in that family. She was good and decent hated doing the stuff our dad asked of us. 
So when she had saved enough money from part time jobs, she took me and tried to run away. 
They found us only three days later in a run-down motel."

A shudder overtook his body, and a sob escaped him. 
I was no longer sure I wanted to know the rest of it, but he spoke anyway. 

"I no longer remember the scene, only that there was so much blood and pain. But I do remember the sounds."

He was holding his head, like they were in there right now, torturing him, haunting him. 

"My sisters screams, yelling my name as my brothers beat us both. The sound of bones breaking, either her or mine, I don't know. And their laughs- especially Seong-Min. They were enjoying it. Laughing as they beat her so brutally, she died two days later due to her injuries. 
I didn't even know because I was unconscious in the hospital for three weeks. 
Everybody was convinced it was a car crash and that's he official cause of her death.
But I know it was them."

I closed my eyes. 
HIs pain- it was like I could feel it too. 
My heart was not breaking- it was bleeding, oozing pain with every shaky breath of the boy I loved. 
A boy who was put through so much pain and experienced so much injustice. 

And yet he had smiled so many times. 
He laughed at every one of Jin's terrible dad-jokes. 
He had the most childish, ridiculous ideas when he was with Jungkook and Jimin, carefree and unburdened. Just three youngsters having a fun time. 

Sometimes Tae acted so cute, Hoseok couldn't help but attack him with cuddles, and he and Yoongi often sat together late into the night, discussing about the world and getting along even though they had such different personalities and ideals. 

And Namjoon-
My brother had laughed, joked, played with Tae a thousand times. 
And Taehyung had looked up to him like a real older brother even after his own had scarred him so much. 

Tears fell. 
Tears for him. 
Tears I couldn't stop. 

"Please don't cry, Y/N. Please," Taehyung suddenly said when he saw my face. 
He was quick to wipe them away with his sleeve and then held my head in his hands. 

"Please. I didn't tell you this so you would be sad for me, but so you would understand. I can't leave. I won't risk it."

I swallow hard. 
"Risk what?"

His eyes were big and honest, and the fear in them palpable. 
"You. I won't risk your safety. And if I were to leave- they would know exactly how they could hurt me the most. Not by hurting me- that hasn't affected me in a long time. "

He lowered his head, his hair falling into his face as he shuddered. 

"The worst thing my brothers ever said to me, was when they threatened you."

His hands suddenly came around me and pulled me into a tight hug. 
He held on to me like I was all he needed, burying his head in my hair at my neck. 
He took a deep breath. 

"I can't ever be the reason you get hurt, Y/N. You saved me. You came into my life when I needed you the most. I never told you-but.. but," his breath caught and he let out a whimper. 

"I figured the only way to escape my brothers, my father and my past was to die. And then there was this tiny girl who handed me a candy bar and insisted on being my friend." 

That day flashed through my head.
I saw him.
So frail, so pale and such despair in his eyes.
Maybe I had known.
I'd known how close he had been to giving up.

And maybe that was the reason I persisted so much. Why I wouldn't let him push me away.
I would do it again, no matter the consequences.

I buried my hands in his hair, pulling him closer against me.
"I know, Tae. But I never regretted it, and I never will. We're in this together."

I felt him nod against my skin.
He pushed away and stopped inches before my face, letting one of his long, veiny fingers run over my lower lip.

My breath shuddered as I lost myself in his dark eyes.
"I love you, Y/N. Now and forever."

And then he kissed me like it was the thing he needed to breath.
I guess I was..