Bittersweet // Complete

35.

Nathan walked into the room, confused, "Where are my nuggets?"

"In Noah's car. He can bring them up himself." I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Did you fight?"

I nodded. Nathan sighed before walking out, "I'm going to help him."

I focused on my breathing, calming myself enough to at least talk when he came up. Minutes later, there was a flurry of activity outside, and I walked out to see Nathan and Noah putting the bags on the kitchen counter. Moving them out of the way, I picked out the frozen goods first, stuffing them in the freezer before they went bad. I had to dig through another whole bag to find the butter and cheese.

"So are you guys going to talk it out or do I have to call the police for attempted murder in twenty minutes?" Nathan raised himself on the counter, biting an apple, casually. I rolled my eyes, motioning Noah towards the room. It was enough to make him move. From his sullen expression, it was clear that he would clearly be anywhere else, but I wasn't about to quit this without an answer. I couldn't do this to myself one more time.

Why was Noah always entering my home in negative moods?

It occurred rather late to me that this would be the first time Noah would be seeing my room. I was shutting the door behind us when I felt his presence looming over me, and as I turned around, I was all but pinned to the door, Noah's lips on mine. Never demanding, always asking, his lips were soft on me, warming me inside as I turned to jelly inside out. It was unfair that he had all this control over me by doing absolutely nothing. So I pushed him away as lightly as I could, "No, don't do that."

"Do what? Now I'm not even allowed to kiss my girlfriend?" he stood further away though, settling on my bed. Turning my chair from the desk, I sat down backwards, resting my chin on the headrest.

"Why did you lie to me?"

Noah sighed, as if already tired by this argument, "I knew you'd be mad, so it was just a better idea."

"And you thought I'd never find out?"

"You were never supposed to know. Or at least you'd find out afterwards" he confirmed.

I was at a loss for words. "So as long as you don't find out, I can go cheat on you? Or as long as you don't catch me red handed, it's cool?"

When his own logic was thrown in his face, Noah was speechless for a second. He opened his mouth to speak before thinking better and closing it.

"Noah," I sighed, my anger draining me with every second he wasn't arguing with me. It felt like a one sided conversation, and I was tired already, even though I hadn't said much. I tried again, "Why would you lie to me, knowing that it would hurt my feelings when I found out?"

"Exactly this!" he tugged his hair, "I knew you wouldn't take this well. Like it's so obvious you don't like Jennifer, you'd never be okay with me celebrating Halloween with her."

"So it was just best to lie to me instead of having a hard conversation once? How am I supposed to trust anything you say now? Do you have any idea how annoying it is to hear from other people things you should know about your boyfriend?"

"Fuck Bri, it's never enough for you, is it? I can count on one hand the things you've done for this relationship while I keep bending over backwards for you," my mouth remained frozen, "But nothing ever feels enough! You always keep asking for more trust and more honesty without doing any of it yourself!"

"I've never lied to you!"

"Really?" Noah was now pacing the room, the brown tuft of hair temporarily replaced by an all too familiar blonde in my head. I shook my head, this was Noah. He's not the same. Coming to a stop in front of me, he asked, "Okay if we're talking about things we should know, tell me why you haven't told me about Caleb yet?"