Bittersweet // Complete

28.

Chapter 28

Safe to say, I did not take that well. Sophie tried to comfort me, but I just asked her to leave me alone. I had a massive headache coming and there was no escape from reality better than an undeserved nap after crying your eyes out. So I pulled the curtains and went to sleep.

My eyes were feeling crusty as hell as I rubbed them open, seeing it was well past dinner time.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, ignoring the grumbling in my stomach. I spent the night staring at a blank word document, the blinking cursor reminding me that I was an idiot and there was no way I would get any work done.

Fine then, if not assignments, then house work would keep me occupied.

I cleaned the photo frames hung on the living room wall, avoiding looking at the pictures of me and Nathan, me and Eleanor and Sophie. All of it was lost, in a fraction of a second. I scrubbed the coffee stain on the small table off till the glass was shining clean, and then I scrubbed it some more. Clean, everything needed to be so damn clean.

After the living room, I headed to the kitchen, clearing the cabinets off unnecessary waste, expired condiments and all sorts of stupid plastic waste. I cleaned the fridge mechanically, not allowing the guilt of wasting food seep in me today. There wasn't enough space in my heart for that. When I checked the clock again, it was a little past two in the morning but I didn't feel any bit of sleep over my eyes.

More cleaning, I needed more things to do. I put in my basket of laundry into the machine, working on cleaning the shower space, removing the smallest bits of dirt lodged between the tiles, going down on my hands and knees, scrubbing the place till it was sparkling. The laundry was done just in time too. I took the load to my room, taking care to iron each article of clothing perfectly, leaving no crease. Even my socks weren't spared. Everything had to be clean, perfectly clean.

At some place far in the back of my head, I knew what I was doing was obsessive and completely unnecessary, but keeping my mind occupied was far too important. After I kept my clothes in neat, folded piles in my wardrobe, I took my bag on to my bed, trying to get some reading done. If I focused on bigger problems, maybe this one would disappear on its own.

I was pulling my library issued book on Environmental Damages when my phone slipped out of the bag too, screen glowing with notifications. Daniel had sent me some messages telling me he was worried, and he heard from Eleanor.

I'm ok I responded to him, not bothering with the details.

Most of all, my phone was flooded with notifications from Noah. He'd left DMs and messages on every single app he could, and called me no less than twenty eight times throughout the day. His last call was only a few minutes ago, so I knew he was awake. Debating what to tell him, I finally sent him only a simple, Eleanor knows. I don't want to talk right now.

Noah was quick to call me again, and I answered, even though I felt guilty for doing so, "Hey."

"Hey," his tone was somber, "did you tell her?"

"No," a sob rose up my throat again, "She found out." I told Noah what happened between tears, and he comforted me best as he could over the phone. He wanted to come over, but it was probably not a good idea. At some point during the night we switched to a video call, and I fell asleep again, feeling Noah's calming presence even through the screen.

I woke up exhausted, which was a feeling I should have been getting used to by now. I changed into a loose tee shirt and leggings for the day, not bothering to do more. We were planting saplings today in the wake of a warehouse being demolished a little outside of the city. Daniel had offered to pick me up, but Noah had beat him to it and I was craving his scent and the comfort it brought along with it.