before you / jung jaehyun

thirty eight

[ 20th November, 2018, 3:12PM ]

"i bumped into soomin the other day," aeri blurted out of nowhere before taking a bite of her cake. the boy sitting in front of her, jaehyun, stopped eating for a second to look at her like as if she was out of her mind. he kept forgetting that whatever happened between soomin and him was a secret.

"why are you looking at me like that?" she raised her eyebrow, annoyed at the way jaehyun was staring so intensely at her. he quickly redeemed himself by going, "sorry, i was thinking of something," that was his excuse. yeah, like fucking her? she thought to herself.

"what did you guys talk about?" she asked, and jaehyun stopped eating again just so he could process whatever she was saying. to jaehyun, it felt like she was taunting him about something. but then he remembered she didnt know so there was nothing to worry about. to aeri, that was exactly what she was doing.

jaehyun nervously laughed, "nothing much. just, school work," he quickly thought of a reply to her question. aeri just hummed, in acknowledgment. she couldnt be bothered, it was three days ago anyway. and she was really invested in eating the cake right in front of her.

want to know a secret? ever since mark and aeri gave each other closure, she had never felt so happy in life. it was as if all of her worries were gone. wow, so this is what jaehyun must have felt when he got closure from chungha? she would often think to herself that.

and it was indeed that same exact feeling.

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[ 17th november, 2018, 8:43PM ]

jaehyun kicked the stool in anger. "soomin, you and i agreed to a one time thing! it's never gonna happen again!" he repeatedly reminded her again and again and again but she just wouldnt listen. the real reason why she even went to meet jaehyun was because she really hoped they would end up sleeping together again.

but jaehyun has moved on. moved on from soomin, and got what he wanted; to move on from aeri. it was a win-win situation for him. and soomin agreed to let it go, but why was it so hard for her to keep her promise? jaehyun couldnt stand it anymore.

"fuck you, jaehyun," soomin cursed at him. she was furious. she had her reasons on why she was so desperate for it, of course. and jaehyun wanted to know why. "what the fuck did i do?" his voice cracked, because it caught him off guard and he was so confused.

"i used to love you, you know?" she confessed, out of the blue. it wasnt a shock to jaehyun, because he knew about it. he just figured it out along the way of their friendship. but then it's just weird for him now because she never really had a proper conversation about it with him.

he shut himself up. "i wouldve walked through the ends of the earth and back for you once," she continued. "i got over you and then one day the thing i thought would never happened, happened, between us," she explained her feelings of desperation.

all he could do was listen. "of course my fucking feelings would come back, right? i thought i would be over it. but this isnt doing good for me," she had tears behind her eyes, but she tried so hard not to cry. "just— put yourself in my fucking shoes, please," she said; before walking over to his couch to sit and take a breather.

jaehyun just sighed. he needed a minute to process whatever she just said. "you know what?" he said, walking over to her. "maybe i shouldnt have asked you, it was selfish of me," he started to speak. "but that was also on you for agreeing. if you knew you werent completely over me, you shouldnt have gone through with it," he added.

"and i know i sound like a dick. but what else should i do? the possibility of us working out is close to zero, soomin. we're friends. you need to just— let go of the idea of us, please," he sat down right next to her, patted the back of her head to comfort her.