Jason & Darius |Craving Yours| ✔

33. Hospitals & Gowns

Darius Maddison 

You read so many books and watch so many hospital shows but nothing ever actually prepares you for the sharp olfactory assault brought by the scent of a hospital. 

It's weird because it's like a simultaneous scent of the cleanest place on earth but with a sharp distinct scent of death in all its forms. Impending, past and current. You can smell the struggle on the foul smell of medication, the loss in the faint lingering scent of tears and the clean up in the strong sharp bleachy scent. Nothing quite like a hospital in the dead of the night. 

My blood was simmering under my skin as the sound of my boots thumping against the linoleum floor propelled me closer to my destination. It had been months after all. So much had changed and at the same time it seemed like time had passed but nothing had changed. 

"Mr Dixon!" The doctor exclaimed as he held me back forcefully. 

"They said she was here," I croaked looking up at him as I felt emotions crowd in my throat. 

"Yes, but Miss Olivia has encountered a traumatic experience you can't just barrel your way into her room that will leave irreparable repercussions." He said looking at me as if that was supposed to mean something. 

I stopped moving long enough to stare at the doctors face. He was saying she was traumatised. That part I understood, "I don't understand, are you saying I can't see her?" 

"Yes." 

"Why? She is my sister!" I yelled confused. I clenched and unclenched my hand trying to hold back the dam of emotions threatening to spill over. This man had the audacity to tell me what to do with MY sister. 

"We put her in a medically induced coma. When she arrived we had to subdue her. She is too traumatised to be around people right now. Maybe you can come back in an hour when she is awake and we can try..."

"No, no no! I won't leave. I am not leaving her again. I need to see my sister." 

"Okay." The Doctor said gesturing to a seat behind me, "Calm down and have a seat..." 

"I need to make sure she is okay. I can not just sit here and wait for her to... To..."  die. My mind provided for me. 

I shut my eyes for a second before opening them and turning to the doctor, "I need to see her. I just... I need... She is my family. I just need to make sure. I have to make sure. She has to... I just want to see that. She is...Breathing." I whispered the last word pleading with the doctor because if I didn't at least see that she was safe then how would I ever be able to feel whole. 

"Okay. But I need you to sit down and fill in some papers first. Okay?" The Doctor said, indicating to the seat behind me, again. 

I sat on the edge of the seat and watched the wall clock as the time ticked away at a snail pace. The wait was long and brutal. Especially because they hadn't allowed me in to see her.  Two hours later things got worse because Carol came barrelling towards me with her parents in tow. Of course. Why did I think they wouldn't show up after all they technically were their parents. 

"Is she okay?" Carol asked from beside me. 

I took her hand in mine and just sat there silently waiting.

My mind drifted off to the phone call that had brought me to the hospital. I was under a small Volkswagen, one of the only customers that were still coming to my shop. I didn't answer the call until the last bolt was screwed into the engine. And by then my ringtone had reached the low tone that signified the end. I managed to slide the answer icon on the screen with my greasy hands as I fruitlessly wiped them on my overalls. 

"Darius." 

"Mr Dixon. We found your sister." The policemen hadn't bothered with any greetings. He sounded breathless like he had been running somewhere and only remembered to call me just in the nick of time. 

"You found Olivia?" My mind had altered in case it was a false alarm. It was more likely that it would be a false alarm because I didn't think anything good was going to happen to me. Especially since nothing good had happened to me since I lost Mason. 

The rest of the conversation had been a blur of words and phrases as I pulled off my overalls and jumped into my car. I needed to see it with my own eyes. To know that it really was Ollie. To know that, the blood that had stained the carpet of that dingy house was not hers. But it was more likely that it was hers. 

 The doctor finally emerged from whatever hole he had been hiding in with a grim look on his face. He glanced around us and shook his head slightly before moving closer. Carol and I  stood up simultaneously in an attempt to move closer to the doctor and his important information. 

Carol's grip on my hand was tight as she managed to stop all blood flow to my fingers. I accepted the pain as a method to ground myself and offer comfort to her. After all, this whole thing was probably my fault. 

"Is she okay?" I asked, talking over James and his wife as they whispered something to each other. 

"She has sustained a lot of trauma and she has multiple injuries that required surgery. We believe she should be fine. But we just need to wait and watch. Right now we are focused on her mental health. She hasn't spoken to anyone yet. We believe that maybe if she sees a familiar face she might say something. And this will help us figure out what happened to her. " 

"Okay. I will go." I announced.

"No, we are her parents, we will go." James' wife said as she looked at me with disdain. 

"Only one of you can see her. We want to minimise the risk of traumatising her further or overwhelming her." The doctor stated looking between us. 

"I am her brother." 

"I am her mother." 

"Okay. I think someone who has known her the longest should go." The doctor said looking at Olivia's mother like she had won. 

Carol pulled her hand out of my grip and stepped forward. Silently watching the doctor as if waiting for him to question how long Carol has known her. Instead the doctor just led her towards the ICU doors and left us gaping at each other.