Jason & Darius |Craving Yours| ✔

18.Kisses & Beer

Jason Madison

"I remember the first time I saw him." I said sitting up.

"It was my first day on campus. There was a frat party in one of those pretentious always crowded houses. I was never into crowds or parties but Mason had threatened to let mum and dad know I was isolating myself again. And I should have seen how dumb it was to be manipulated like that but I was young and dumb. So I found myself in a frat house trying to find the nearest exit.

The place was loud there were sweaty bodies everywhere. People were gyrating their hips on any moving human. The music was loud and also pretentious. I hated it. I wanted to leave and I was ready when this really attractive guy bumped into me. I had looked at Darius and his wickedly mesmerising smile and decided to stay. Suddenly the music was fun and I wanted to dance against him. He was dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jeans but he looked like the most attractive person I had ever had the pleasure of meeting.

He turned to me fully so his body was facing mine. I was vaguely aware of the bodies rubbing against me as they squeezed past. I was aware of the music that for some reason did not bother me anymore. I was aware of the fact that Darius was smiling directly at me. And for the first time ever in my whole life, someone had noticed me. And not for the fact that I was Mason's twin brother.  But because they had seen me.

He moved closer to me smile broadening and suddenly looking like the exact depictions of bad boys in movies. He had proceeded to lean close to me so his lips were next to my hear with any actual contact between us. At that moment I was aware of the heat that I felt radiating from him. The whole place was hot but his breath was hotter. I felt every puff as it brushed by my skin. Then in the richest sultriest velvety deep voice, he uttered one word. His name. A weird delicious thing had happened to the pit of my stomach at the way he said Darius and me just knew then that he would be my downfall.

So of course when he offered to the get me a drink I followed him like the awkward person I was. He didn't mention how awkward I was or the fact that I did not belong in a crowd like that.  To him, I was just like everyone else except I got to chill with him. " I took a breath and smiled at my fingers as I used them to trace the edge of the camera in my lap. 

"He made me a drink from the questionable table then with another flash of his smile he handed me the red paper cup. I had accepted it and drank it slowly in an attempt to prolong whatever was going on. He had then turned around and made himself another cup. Then without any warning, he had turned to me with a deep chuckle that woke up hoards of butterflies in my stomach. He never explained what was so funny but my guess was drunk thoughts.

He had proceeded to grab my hand then with a cheerful come on. He had dragged me outside towards the patio in the back. The noise was less loud and I could hear myself think. Well, I could have heard myself think if my heartbeat had not been beating in my chest. He motioned for me to sit on the stairs next to him.

I did with a small smile creeping on my face because I was aware that I had not scared him off with my weird silences. We sat there quietly drinking our alcohol and not talking. Just existing next to each other. At that point, I was ready to self combust because this could definitely not be real.

Then he had turned to me with a genuine smile and said 'You don't talk much huh?' I had smiled in an attempt to say something even my name but my throat had closed up and it felt like I swallowed a frog. So I looked at his expectant face then took another sip from the cup, but not before giving him a smile.

'That's okay.'  he had said smiling then holding my hand. 'Some things are better understood in silence'. My chest had constricted another size or two and I had wanted to know this one person who truly understood me.

The night was going well too until a dark-skinned boisterous guy had come to the door and called him back. He had smiled at me then signalled the guy in the door that he would be a minute. As soon as the guy was gone he had leaned close to me and whispered 'So I am about to go get totally smashed. I am already halfway there. And I might not remember this tomorrow but...can I kiss you?'
.
The whole question had taken me by surprise but I was already seeing stars when I looked at him. So with nothing more than a mere grunt. I nodded. And he surged forward and captured my lips in a kiss I remember up to today. It was one of those breath-stealing Disney kisses that you only ever imagine. He kissed as he meant it. Like he never wanted to leave. He kissed me as if he had practised for this day. He kissed like just the idea of being out here with me in the silence of the night was the best thing to ever happen to me. His kissed changed the rhythm of my heart into the most erratic beat I had ever heard. And just like that, it was over and he was leaving to go meet his frat friends. Our night a memory he would forget. " I pulled my knees up to my chest on my bed and stared at Odette. She was smiling back at me with a sad smile.

"If only I had spoken to him the first day I saw him...Maybe we would have been friends and maybe we would have fallen in love. But I didn't talk to him and we weren't friends and we didn't fall in love. He found someone else. And I can only blame myself. I tried not to fall in love with him, I really did." I said placing my head on the top of my knees as I let my self cry. The tears seeped into my jeans and I let them.

Because maybe If I had talked to Darius then he would have been mine and not Mason's.Then I wouldn't be here thinking about the what if's and waiting for him to love me.