Creepypasta Research + more

Entry #30

Time: 9:51am

Date: Septemeber 18, 2020

Song not mine

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Heyo guys.

So a lot of the people I'm researching with get a feeling that something big is going to happen soon. I actually I feel okay, I'm not very panicked or anything.  A lot of people think we might die really. Okay so basically, I think-and others agree-that it is very possible that most of the people I research with will be hunted down as the Pastas victims. And others will be recruited. People think I am one of the people to be recruited, really. I think I mentioned this in other entries.... For some reason, I am actually not bothered. I feel kind of numb really. And when I do feel something its either extreme hyperness, strong anger/sadness, and mostly numb and dull. I have noticed that my lights have flickered a lot this week. Which rarely happens at my house. My lights have flickered about three times just this week. My power went out yesterday as well, in the morning. I am always sleepy and think I'm having hallucinations. My memory is getting way worse than it was last month. I'm almost certain that Hoodie records me from my house' windows. I haven't seen him but I just get the feeling. 

My head hurts a lot sometimes and sometimes I just feel like I'm not myself. My stomach literally hurt as I talked with a researcher, Tenebris_Angelus68. The discord server is kinda falling apart so I'm trying to stick it back together. I'm very stressed but hey, life is not easy. I remember when I was younger I was so happy and joyful now here I am listening to'Dead' by MCR while trying to keep a group of people together while also being stalked by the proxies. One of the researchers just left the discord, great. This is so stressful. 

I did tell Slenderman that If I was recruited I would not be a proxy, and would have freedom like the Creepypastas. If you are asking how I asked him, I said it out loud while the symbol was on my left hand. I asked for his reply to be obvious enough for me to recognize it. I got the answer and he is wondering something. Because If I work for him than I can't be friends with my best friend. No connections. He thinks I won't be able to do it but I will, if it means stopping Zalgo. If you are reading this, best friend, just know. I will always remember you even If we can't be friends anymore. Hope  you understand. So, If I can manage to not rip my brains out (a researcher left and research is slow.) I will see you all tomorrow. Everyday is just another day closer to possibly defeat. 

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A lot of people say they want to save the world. Yet they are scared to die. So their words are lies. To be a hero is to give it your all.

-Lovesick