Wrappers and Snacks

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Michael's Point of View

Jenny literally irks every fiber of ny being. If she were anyone else I would've lost it. She knows I'm trying to sleep but keeps touching my nose. Maybe if I just sit still and pretend to be asleep she'll leave me alone. That worked for five minutes until I feel something wet in my ear. Now for most people a wet willy would be disgusting but I have become so used to it that it doesn't faze me anymore. I had become too used to it.

"Psssst Michael. It's nine. Maury is about to come on lets watch it." I used to hate the show but its become tolerable, just like the Snickers wrapper on my nightstand. I thought after the babies her snack fetish would dissipate but sadly it hasn't.

"I think we should get a maid." Jenny turned to me, she twitched her eye and I could see a vein in her neck. I think now is a good time to run away. I slowly got up and made my way towards the door.

"What are you trying to say? That I can't keep a clean house? Get back here right now!" She said squinting her eyes.

"No babe. I just think with both of us working it's a good idea for us to get some help." She looked me up and down.

"Fine. But no cookie for a week. Little bastard trying to say my house is dirty." She kept mumbling under her breath. Me and my big mouth.

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"So what are your qualifications?" This is the tenth interview that we've had.

"Well I've been a maid for two years. And am very good with children and husbands." She said winking. I could see the steam coming out of Jenny's ears.

"You wild bitch. I know you see me sitting right here. Get your whoring ass out of here." She wiped the tears from her eyes and ran out the door.

"This is why we can't have a maid. Bitches are always plotting. No maid and that's final."

"But Jenny you always leave your wrappers everywhere it's killing me."

"Michael don't make me repeat myself. Understand?"

"Ok." I'm losing my touch. I hung my head and made myself some Lucky Charms. Thank god Mikey is graduating next month because I really need to retire. I actually am getting crows feet. I can't keep stealing Jenny's anti wrinkle cream because she hid it from me. I've looked everywhere for it. That stuff really worked but she said I used to much of it. Theres one more place I haven't looked. I ran to the master bathroom and opened her tampon box. I should wear gloves or something. He reached down in the box and got the bottle. Sweet baby Jesus.

"Michael put my cream down. And buy your own."

"No Jenny. I don't want to age and the beauty supply store people are alway judging me." She rolled her eyes and snatched the bottle from me. Damn it.

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Hey Y'all! I feel so much better! Again thank you for all of the nice comments and messages!! I'm taking it one day at a time. The viewing is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow so I'm gonna need all my strength. Y'all really helped out! So thanks again! But enough about that! How y'all doing? I rarely ask about you guys! How was New Year's or Christmas (if you celebrate it. I don't.) But I dont got school for the next few weeks. Yassssss college. Alright that's enough lol! See y'all later. (I think I use "y'all" entirely too much).

(January 10, 2015)

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