Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway

Chapter 31

I start exploring every inch of Jaime's body with my hands, desperate to feel him. I am so scared of losing him the same way I lost Owen that I'm almost absorbing him into myself. I need to know he's real. That he's still here. I crave his touch and he must sense this as he runs his hands lightly up my spine, making me gasp with the suddenness of the movement. He pulls my top off and starts kissing every inch of flesh he can. I break away to remove his shirt and the feel of our skin together sends shivers through me. Within minutes we are both naked and I lower myself into him, desperately trying to make us one again. He must know what's going through my mind as he holds me as close to him as physically possible, kissing me, touching me, making love to me. A raw, desperate love. The tears are streaming down my face the whole time but he lets me sob. Lets me release all the emotions I've been bottling up. We both climax within seconds of each other and he gently rolls me off him and onto the mattress, where he wraps his arms around me as I cry myself to sleep.
I wake up in the early hours alone. I hear Jaime over the baby monitor having a chat with Anwen. I slept right through her crying, exhaustion getting the better of me.
"I do love your momma so very much baby girl. I know she's hurting so badly and I wish I could change that. I don't know what to do though. I've never been in this situation before and I feel pretty useless."
I feel tears welling up. He has no idea how much he has helped me and I want him to know he has been my rock.
I hear him singing gently to Anwen and then him saying goodnight to her so he must be in his way back. I pretend to be asleep and wait for him to come back in but he doesn't. He must have gone downstairs for something. I can't fight the tiredness and I'm asleep again before he comes back.