CHAPTER 60

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There is no greater unknown than the universe itself and nothing more mysterious than how things came up to be this day. After all, our world is shrouded in various mysteries and secrets hidden beneath the incomparable majesty revealed. All we have to do is be earnest in unravelling those, exploring those, and fathom those.

One of the enigmas of our cosmos is life. You haven't realized, but you're aware that life is the most difficult conundrum for every person... and also the most essential. Even in this chaotic world, you're holding for your dear life... because you wanted to live and you wanted to be happy you wanted nothing but fulfil your promise to the universe. Live even when the only reason is to die.

Then, I realized that I had so many things to do. Things to fulfil, to finish and to say. The stars were all coming down to get me through its blazing light, I remained standing into a void between galaxies, hearing gentle whispers from the cosmic wonders, a familiar face beaming at me and a pull to thingness out of my unconscious soul.

And then I breathe, and breathe... Until, I felt like it's necessary... until I felt like I’m alive, again.

I placed the white roses on the shaped marble stone laid over near the grave. The inscriptions it bore were grazed by my hand, especially her name etched on a stonecold abode of her body.

"It's been a while, Priscilla..." napangiti ako saka umupo sa damuhan. "Matagal kitang hindi nabisita dito. I was so afraid before... You remember that I didn't attend your funeral, right? I was crying inside my room. Until now, I still can't believe you're gone. Iniisip ko... palagi na kasalanan ko kung bakit wala ka na ngayon dito, but our family always tells me that you won't like me blaming myself. And I'm working for it now. Thank you for letting me see you even just for a moment. I missed your smile. I missed you so much."

Seeing her while I was fighting for my life is one of my favourite dreams. She's one of the reasons why I decided to settle living with our family... because when I was sure of going with her... she let me go by walking me back to the place I left... dahil magiging masaya lang sya kung buhay ako.

"If only I can be with you... If only I could hug you now, I'd do it. Akala ko magkakasama na tayo, but I realized you don't like it. Ikaw nga yata ang humila sa 'kin pabalik dito sa mundo."

I realized that Priscilla never really blamed me. I was only the one who thought that she could actually do that to me. What I was dreaming about her choking me to death was because of my fear of her supposed anger if she's still alive. Punong-puno ako ng takot na magkamali ulit at mawalan ulit ng importanteng tao.

"Mahal na mahal kita, Priscilla. Kahit hindi tayo tunay na magkapatid, hindi ko naramdaman 'yun sa tuwing magkasama tayo. I promise, I’ll take good care of everyone you left. Ako ang bahala sa kanila," I smiled. I could feel something lifting off my chest. Probably the grief? Finally, I’m accepting that she's already in a place where happiness is neverending. "You finally got the justice you deserve. I’m happy for you. Sana masaya ka rin. Sana naririnig mo ako."

I looked up to see the blue firmament while a gentle whisper of wind reached my ears.

"I love you, Priscilla. We'll be seeing each other soon."

I stood up. Before I walked away from her, I gave her a gentle smile before turning my back. The moment I went out, coldness caressed my skin as if hugging me with its fustian figure. Wala sa sarili akong napangiti habang papalabas ng sementeryo.

"Are you ready?" tanong ni Kuya nang makarating kami sa dapat naming puntahan.

I heard a short click of the seatbelt after unfastening it and looked at Kuya Primus' worried face. 

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