Stole My Heart- 1D Fanfic

Chapter 22

Georgia’s POV

Uncontrollable sobs wracked my entire body. The poor cab driver kept glancing back, no doubt wondering how strung out I was, but all the while trying to offer me a handkerchief with a panicked look in his eyes. I gratefully accepted the slip of cloth, wiping my eyes furiously, embarrassed and hiccuping, unable to squeak out an apology. 

I couldn’t help it. The reality of what I’d done had only just begun to settle in my head. Liam was gone. My beautiful prince of a boy. The worst part was, I’d pushed him away. Cut the final string. I'd been an autumn leaf, taken against my will. And I had no one to blame but myself, for I’d been selfish. I'd known how it would all end, and yet, here I was. 

I allowed myself of minute of reminiscing. I tried to be objective, not allowing simply the wonderful memories run through my hands, but also the little fights, the times I’d gotten annoyed with him, and they sifted about as well. I tried to see it all for how it really was, deciding if it all was as good as I thought. It all swirled in my mind, slipping through the cracks like sand. 

I let my thoughts linger on a bit of him at a time, slowly, trying to let each thing go as they passed, scene by scene. The soft curl of his slightly damp hair, wickedly long eyelashes, really unfair for a boy,  fanning out around warm eyes, crinkled with his perpetual wide smile, small scar on the right side of his mouth that would stretch white when he’d yawn, gentle, calloused hands, encasing mine, ensnaring my waist, resting on my face, lightly placed on my back, tangled in my hair,  like everything else about him, strong and steady. 

And then I realized, hunched over myself in an ordinary black cab, crawling through the London sprawl, that even the bad memories were good, because in the end, it was always Liam and I, in the quiet moments where we didn’t say anything, and yet said everything, together and happy. At least, happier than I’d ever been. And the thought was so crippling that for a second, I couldn't think. Wrapping my arms around myself, I held on tight, hoping to hold myself together through sheer willpower. Before then, the only time the inside of me had experienced such devastation was when Nana slipped away from me. 

But I also knew I couldn’t bring myself to regret any of the time I’d spent in his heart. He was too dear to me, and the short time I was allowed with him was more than I deserved. The only regret I had, weighing on my chest like a stone, was any pain that I’d selfishly caused him. I thought about the 'what ifs'. What if I’d walked away when I should have, after the phone call that tilted my world on its axis? What if I’d done what I’d always done best and just stuffed all of my emotions into their little box in my heart? What if I’d never come here? I’d take it all back to spare Liam from pain, but I knew that I couldn't and I didn't regret the time. 

The cabbie stopped on the curb of an ordinary looking office building. I sat in the back of the cab, attempting to collect myself. Finally and reluctantly, I handed him back his handkerchief, slightly damp but no worse for the wear, and a handsome tip, and stepped onto the fairy dusted sidewalk. I pulled my off-white knit hat lower over my eyes and, out of habit, stuck out my tongue to catch the fluffy white flakes. This type of snow was pure magic, and I should be out enjoying it, my first real winter in years, for in Florida there wasn’t even any need for fireplaces. Today, however, after catching a few fat drops on my tongue, I shook my head, reminding myself of what waited on the other side of the heavy doors. 

I squared my shoulders, determined not to let them see that they had bested me, far beyond what I’d expected. They did something I wasn’t expecting when I first received my marching orders.