Unexplainable

The first step

      After the weekend with the boys' night out, Chase and I started having conversations before class or even during classes. I liked listening to him talk. It was a strange feeling that I preferred to ignore. We began to get along with each other better and better with each passing day. We started doing a lot of things together, going out, sharing some cigarettes, even though he didn't like to smoke, spending time in my apartment, playing video games and stuff like that. I almost forgot about Denise. Me and Chase were having fun, we were feeling good around each other and the nights out with the boys started to be much more funny and pleasant.
       On a random Tuesday, during the lunch break, Denise and I were heading to the canteen. Passing the lockers, I heard Axel threatening Chase. I stopped for a few seconds to hear better what it was about, but I didn't understand, so I decided to intervene.
- What's happing here? I asked.
- Nothing, Chase said, staring at Axel.
- Your knight in shining armour has come, Wood, said Axel.
- Shut up, Chase snapped.
- Or what? I told you what would happen if you bother me again, Wood. I won't tell you too many times. Your little secret might be revealed if you don't behave properly, Axel said arrogantly.
- Axel, I think it's time to stop this, I said.
   I was overwhelmed with rage. We were alone in the hallway, even Denise had gone to the canteen. If Axel doesn't end this shit soon, it was going to turn out badly for him.
- Oh... I get it. Did you suck him too, Wood? Axel said grinning and pointing at me.
      Before Chase could jump on his neck, I did.  In a few seconds we were both on the floor. I was on top of him punching him hard in the face. I only saw black in front of my eyes. Anger took over me and the only way I could make it out of my mind and my body was to punch Axel. Without noticing, I was pushed and thrown to the floor. When I looked up, I'd seen Axel with a broken, bloody nose, Chase, and the high school principal.
- Axel, go to the infirmary. Bryan, you're coming with me, the principal said.
     I got to my feet and looked for Chase. He was leaning against a locker, looking at me in fright. When our eyes met, he lowered his eyes to the floor and went to the canteen.
- Bryan, in my office. Now! I heard the principal insist.
     I turned to him and followed him to his office. After an hour of morale in which I tried to explain to him why I had reacted like that, I left the director's office suspended for the rest of the week, and my parents were going to find out about all this. Luckily they were about 50km away. I was calm despite what had just happened. I got in the car and turned on the radio. I wanted to lose myself a little.
  
     I tried to reach Chase for the next two days, but he didn't answer my calls or messages. I tried to talk to him through someone else, but I had no one to tell him what I wanted to say. Friday afternoon, I decided to pay him a visit. I felt the need to talk to him. The way he looked at me after that incident had never left my mind. There was so much disappointment in his eyes, fear and contempt. I had to talk to him, and he left me no other way to do it, so around 4 o'clock in the afternoon I was on his street, parking in front of his house.  I hesitated for a few seconds, then took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A woman in her 40s opened up to me, with a wide smile on her face, probably Chase's mother.
- Hi. How can I help you? she said.
- Hello. I'm Bryan, Chase's classmate. I wanted to talk with him. Is he home? I said quickly enough for her not to realize how tense I was.
- Yes, come in. I'm taking you to his room, she said, with the same soothing smile on her face.
     I followed her upstairs and then to the end of the hall. She stopped in front of a black door, knocked on it and stuck her head on the room saying:
- Chase, darling, Bryan, your classmate, has come to see you.
I heard Chase take a deep breath, then say:
- Let him in.
- My name is Kristine, the woman said. If you need anything, you can find me in the kitchen.
      She smiled at me again, then walked down the stairs. I reached for the door to Chase's room to open it and go inside, and I noticed that my hands were shaking. I didn't understand why I was so tense. Chase was laying on the bed with his phone in his hands, typing quickly. He had a pretty big room and tidier then mine, with blue walls and a big bed in the middle of it.
- Hey, I said.
- Hey, Chase said, looking up at me.
- Sorry I came without telling, but I wanted to talk to you, and if you didn't answer my calls, I decided to come here.
      He rose to his feet and looked at me for a few seconds. He was wearing shorts and a black T-shirt, his hair was ruffled and he was relaxed.
- Sit down, he said.
     I sat on the edge of the bed with my back to him, staring at the floor.
- What did you wanted to talk about? he asked, approaching me.
- What happened on Tuesday... I said after a few seconds of hesitation. I saw your expression after I got up from the floor. I didn't have to get between you two again. It's just this guy gets on my nerves. I don't understand why he's constantly bothering you.
- It's... it's a long story, he said.
- I have enough time.
- Well... Axel and I have known each other before and that's caused the conflicts from now.
- Why was he threatening you? What secret was he talking about? Why did he ask you if you had...
- Stop. Please...
- Tell me what's going on, Chase.
      I turned to him so I could follow him while he was talking. He was sitting on the bed next to me, with his legs crossed, looking at his hands, not knowing what to say.
- I, uhm... He... He thinks I'm gay, he said.
      As he spoke, he didn't even look up at me. I didn't know what I could say, how I could react. Part of me wanted to get out of there and go beat Axel again, another part of me wanted to go to my fucking apartment and order some pizza, and a piece of me, a little, tiny one, wanted me to stay. I stood for a few moments, which seemed like hours, in silence. A warm air entered the room through the open window, which lightly brushed the ruffled hair of the boy in front of me, who could no longer find the courage to look me in the eye. Eventually I managed to say something:
- But what do you think?
      He raised his head to look at me for the first time in minutes and furrowed his brows.
- What? he said confused.
- What do you think? I repeated. Are you or not...? You know...
- Gay? he ask, putting on a small grin.
- Yeah...
- Would there be a problem if I were? he said, approaching me.
     His gesture intrigued me and didn't make me withdraw. I knew I was going to step on minefield, but I was always driven by curiosity.
- I don't know, I said looking at him.
- Let's find out, he said, almost in a whisper.
     He got closer and closer to me. It was hot in that room, which now seemed extremely small. Without realizing it, he pressed his lips to my neck, leaving small kisses from top to bottom. He raised his hand and began running his fingers over my collar bones, then up to my earlobe, then down again. Every touch he left burned my skin, every kiss he placed sent me shivers. It was the first time I felt that way and I didn't want it to stop.
- Come on, say something, he muttered to me.
      My mouth was clenched. I couldn't say a word. Chase got up, and I was watching him. He had locked the door and turned back to me, put his knees next to my thighs and sat down on my lap. He put his soft, warm lips back on my neck, more precisely in the area where the neck meets the jaw, and then I let out an involuntary groan.
- A sensitive spot? he asked.
- I-I don't know, I managed to say.
     I was leaning on my back, trying hard not to fall on the bed, letting him take control. As he continued to explore my neck, he moved, rubbing against my already hard penis. At that moment I let out another muffled moan and I felt Chase sketch a smile as he left a last kiss on my jaw. He got off me and walked to the door, unlocking it.

Chase's perspective:
     I knew that from the moment he entered the door of my room it would not end well for any of us. He was tense, I could easily figure this out because when he talks he has to look at the person he's talking to. This time he was looking at the floor and his voice was shaking.
- Let's find out, I said.
      The words came out of my mouth involuntary. I approached him, not knowing what I wanted to do. I turned my gaze to his neck, where he had small red spots from the heat and tension he felt. My instinct pushed me to his neck, and from there I knew what I had to do. I felt him startle a little when my lips touched him, but he did not withdraw. I was surprised. I continued my job, running my fingers around his neck, waiting to receive some reaction from him.
- Come on, say something, I said.
      His skin was hot, and with every touch I gave him, he shuddered. I could feel it. I quickly got up to lock the door, because it wouldn't have been nice if my mother had accidentally interrupted us. He watched me, his mouth open and his eyes full of desire. I turned to him and sat down on his lap. He leaned on his back, without taking his eyes off me. I ran my fingers over his neck, looking at him, then left him a few more kisses, until I reached the place where his neck met his jaw and I heard him let out an involuntary moan for the first time. That's it!
- A sensitive spot? I asked.
- I-I don't know, he managed to say through the gasps.
     I was about to gain control, but he didn't give up easily either. I changed my position, clinging on him, and then he let out another groan. It was such a beautiful sound, which I would have liked to hear all day long. His hands trembled beneath him and he closed his eyes, gently tilting his head back. A victorious smile appeared on my face as I left one last kiss on his sensitive spot. He was breathing extremely hard and his skin was burning. I got up of him and unlocked the door. It was almost 5 o'clock, which meant that my mother was almost ready with the meal and she was coming to let me know.

Bryan's perspective:
- I think the number of gays in this room has doubled, said Chase smiling.
- I'm not gay, Chase, I said a little embarrassed that I didn't know anymore if I was straight or not.
- Yes, and those reactions were nothing, he said sarcastically. Bryan, what do you feel?
     He sat down next to me, looking at me, waiting for an answer. But before I could even think of an answer, the door opened and his mother's head had appeared on it with the same pleasant smile on her face.
- I wanted to let you know that the meal is ready, she said.
- We're coming, Chase said. Do you want to stay?
- Uhm, no, I can't. I have to meet Denise, I lied.
- Oh, okay. Thanks for coming, Chase said putting a fake smile on his face.
- I'm sorry you can't stay, Bryan, Chase's mother said.
- I'm sorry too. Maybe another time, I said. It was nice to meet you, by the way.
- It was nice to meet you too, she said.
      I went back to my apartment and locked myself in the bedroom. I stayed up all night thinking about what had happened, what I had felt, how I had felt. There was a total chaos in my head, but one thing was clear and certain: Chase.