The Diary of A King's Mistress

30th January, 1668

        Tomorrow I would be queen. The notion in my mind made my insides ill. My heart slowed so I could feel it beat painfully in my chest. Ever since I met him, Oliver had been the only man in my life whom I wanted to give myself to. I knew he would return and we would see one another once more, but I feared that all I had was just memories to help me through all the anxiety and fear.

        I spent the day with a Royal seamstress. She designed my gown completely from silver and white. It was truly beautiful, but far too ostentatious for my taste. It was paired with a silver tiara and a long white veil that shinned. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I lingered in my pose. Not because of what was looking back, but fore what was not. There was just depression, despair, and the desire that would never be fulfilled. I was to live a life along side a king in whom I would surely die by.

        The day remained at a slow pace before I lit the torch outside my window. Within the hour, Oliver was climbing up the vines and was in my chambers. He had pulled me into him as if trying to join our bodies to one. His lips were so moist and perfect in passion and tenderness. He held me against him for a long while before he spoke to me in a sentence I desired for so long. I want you Graceanna. He told me as he took a deep breath. I had indeed wanted him also, but the desire I was craving was not that that I should be having. I made my way past him and to my door where Iocked it tight and set the key upon my vanity desk.

        There was a look in his eye that was not lust, it was love. True and undeniable love. I made my way to him and he sat on the edge of my bed with his hands clasped together. When he rose up his face, I could see tears on his cheeks. He explained to me how he was afraid for me. He was afraid he would lose me and was afraid I would only know pain and never love.

        I know love. I told him. You have shown me it when you climb the thorn-covered vines nearly everyday to see me. I know it when you risk your life to just be near me. Before I could finish speaking my feelings, his lips connected again with mine. He carefully laid me on my back with him on top of me. I could see in his eyes that something passionate subsided. Something I was in for....

        Oliver told me how he wanted me to love the person I would give myself to. I had agreed and we sealed the deal with a kiss before agreeing further. We removed each other's clothes before he began making love to me. It was as if my legs had been on fire. The motion in which our bodies moved made me crave him even more. As much as I tried to contain it, I was unable to stop my moaning. He felt like heaven. This went on until daybreak, the day of my wedding...I was in bed with the man I loved. The man in which I just gave myself to. The man that I promised myself to.