The Diary of A King's Mistress

27th January, 1668

        I had spent the night reading the papers the King had given me. It was a contract of mine and his accommodations. It was a fancy way of saying I would be a whore to him. My stomach began to pull at my gut and my head felt dizzy as I read exactly what he wanted. I immediately went to him the next morning and threw the document onto his desk. After a few choice words, I expressed my deep hurt that he caused on believing I would do such things as he requested. We had spent the majority to the day altering clauses and updating needs and desires and settled on matrimony before any form of physical connection.

        Quickly I raced to my room to find Oliver awaiting me. He had a look of fear upon his eyes as he looked to me. It took various tries until he expressed to me that he must leave. This hurt worse than any blade could ever cause. I had turned from him then back to mask my burning tears but found anger more than sadness. I hit him repeatedly, until I collapsed in his embrace. He pulled me to him and told me it was for both my safety as well as his own. I was unable to tear away from him but I told him of the contract and he looked to me as if I told him I signed it without altering. He tossed me to the side and took a deep breath then began pacing. I had never seen him act in such a manner so I asked what was wrong. He told me his honest opinion and begged me to stay away from the King and leave with him.

        I wanted more than anything to leave with him, but I would be surely hunted like prey and I felt no desire to be beheaded. In any other circumstance, I would have left with him. But both his life and mine was at risk, and I was not a lucky girl particularly. I had stressed greatly of being unsure but found only his validation the King was a man of twisted morality and selfish intentions. I knew this, but I felt as if I could do good for this Kingdom and for its people. The way Oliver looked to me though, made me wish I could hide from him. His eyes showed great sadness and disappointment. 

        I asked him to come back the following day-when the sun had hidden itself for the night and the stars shinned dim. He agreed and left my presence without a kiss or so much as a touch. I was left that night with a longing glance that made my body ache and quiver. The darkness hid this from him. A moment was exchanged when I thought he would stay or apologize but neither happened. I closed my balcony windows and tied them tight. I had one night to prove my feelings for this man. A night I would never forget.