Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter XXXII

I wake up in Finnicks arms after a night without nightmares for a change and find him gazing at me.

„You are staring", I mumble and cuddle further into him, enjoying his warmth.

„Well, I like looking at you."

„I will take that as a compliment."

He moves his arm from around my waist, where it lay underneath my shirt and I turn around, no longer having to crane my neck to see him.

The truth is that I will miss him, because he brought me happiness. As a friend and now. I could forget about all the bad things when I was with him. The only other times that happens is when I am with Johanna and Marianns family. But the latter I couldn't tell everything and with him I can, with Johanna I can, but as much as I care about her, she cannot bring me the kind of happiness that Finnick brings me.

„I will miss you Finn...", I mumble, burying my head in his chest.

„I will miss you too my love", Finnick says and gives me a soft kiss when I look up at him.

We cuddle for another 20 minutes, while we talk and exchange small kisses, then Penelope enters my room, a smile on her lips. I don't worry about her seeing us. Even if she could tell anybody, she wouldn't. I trust her. She takes out the small notepad she always seems to carry since the night back at the train, where I drew her. It says that breakfast is ready and we will leave in two hours.

Reluctantly I wiggle out of Finnicks embrace, choosing a simple black turtleneck and high waisted jeans. A small necklace around my neck, my hair in braids and my ear piercings in place. I am still contemplating on getting more, I like them very much and they underline the fierceness I want to show, the fierceness my red hair supports as well.

Finnick just wears the things from the day before, smoothing out his shirt before we leave the room. We let go of each other's hands when we enter the big room in which the others sit, already enjoying their breakfast.

Silas looks at us with suspicion. „He stayed in your room?"

„He is my best friend. Can't he stay in my room?", I question and sit down, grabbing a croissant and some chocolate spread as well as strawberries.

„Of course he can. It was just a question", Silas explains.

„Same thing here", I say and look at him. The tension and differences between us seem to grow with every passing day and I honestly don't know why.

We silently eat our breakfast, then I walk to the elevator with Finnick.

„See you soon", he says as he pulls me close.

„See you soon", I say back and after a very short kiss, since we were somewhat out in the open, we slowly step away and let go of each other's hands.

„I adore you", Finnick says just before the doors shut and I mouth it back.

I turn away and take a deep breath, then my prep team does a simple make-up and refreshes my nails and after that Silas and I walk to the train. I wonder when Penelope gets on the train, because she always seems to be there once we arrive, but stays behind when we leave the floor.

Avoiding Silas was a lot easier than expected because he didn't leave his room the whole ride. My prep-team stayed in the Capitol, so I ate lunch alone, at least until I made Penelope join me. She was very hesitant, but I convinced her to at least sit down and drink something.

I run into Silas only once we step off the train and walk to the victors' village. It is silent.

"I really tried to get Alyce to listen to me. You must know that. So why are you acting so weird lately? You didn't want to coach together and when I asked you for help you acted weird as well. I thought we were friends or something in that direction", I speak up.

"Yeah, well I don't want you as a friend", he says, not looking at me.

"Okayy, sorry. It's just...never mind if there is something I did then you could just tell me. But if you think that a 45-year-old can't act like an adult and talk about it that's your thing, just please get your act together if we need to mentor, like next year, but I hope that is enough time to talk things through."

I turn and enter my house, changing out of the dress and into pants and a soft shirt with a cardigan on top, then walk over to Mariann's house.

"I missed you!", Theresa calls out, who is eight already now.

"Oh, I missed you too little one", I grin and pick her up twirling her around. Daniel is 11 and stands back a little.

"I know you want a swirl too", I grin and set Theresa down, opening my arms and he grabs my hands and I swirl him around the living room.

"Hi Talisa", Mike greets me as he enters the room and I set Daniel down.

"Mariann is at the market right now, but I am in charge of cooking and you know that I need all the help I can get."

I smile. "Sure"

I like their home. It has life in it. It is messy and there are toys laying around, some clothes. The pillows on the couch are scattered and a blanket was thrown into the armchair. In the kitchen is an open box of cocoa powder and some dishes piling in the sink.

And suddenly I know that I would love this to be my life. A home full of life, with a loving husband who tries to learn to cook for me, with children, maybe a dog and a cat or two.

But I can never have that. It could be taken away from me too easily. It would give Snow a target. As long as he lives, as long as this system lives, I cannot have this.

"Talisa?", Mike interrupts my thoughts.

"Sorry. What are we making?"

"Orange chicken with rice and oven vegetables. At least that is what Mariann wants, but I promised her that I will do more cooking and I learn by doing right?", he says and I chuckle.

"You are a great husband. Orange chicken is actually quite easy to make. It's all about the spices you put in."

And so we cook dinner, with Theresa and Daniel sneaking a few bites every now and then.