Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter XVII

I woke up on the ground, not knowing how much time had passed, but my skull was throbbing, maybe because I hit my head, maybe because of the crying but that didn't change the fact that the reason I fainted were white flowers. I knew that Snow sent them, a bouquet for mourning. Like he was spitting in my face. But what was even worse was the black envelope sitting in front of the flowers, my name written in golden writing, highlighted with white. A calligraphic masterpiece, that I would have fussed about if I didn't know how was responsible for it. Step by step I went close, as if I was walking towards a dangerous animal. With two fingers I pluck out the envelope and open it.

My dear Miss Moreno,

I am sorry that I had to take such drastic measures, but after you ignored my warning with such insolence I had to remind you that you are nothing but a small piece in a big game.

Sadly you didn't accept that role and I had to find a way to persuade you to do as you are told, for the greater good of the nation.

You will serve your purpose, which I decide.

Your first appointment will be in two weeks time, on the eve of the New Year.

Should you decide to pass on this opportunity to right your wrong doing or pass on life in general, I am afraid that I have to believe that your first warning was not sufficient and have to prove once more why your services are for everybody's good.

You will get collected at the train station and brought to the victors apartment block.

Other details are at the hand of your business partner.

Kind regards,

President Coriolanus Snow

I scream. Loud and angry with all the hate I feel for this man. I grab the flowers, pricking my hands at the thorns and they follow the dress into the fire.

I throw one of the vases my grandmother picked at the market against the living room wall and other items follow, before I sink down to the floor once more.

I was being sold like a piece of furniture and my grandparents death was in vain.

I was a piece, not a human, that could be used and sold and taken by whoever wanted to. I would have thought about just following my family into death, but even that chance was taken from me, because others would suffer from that as well. All choice was taken from me and there was nothing I could do.

I hadn't slept one night without nightmares, that became more diverse with each night. So some I didn't sleep at all. I forced myself to eat, to read, to work out, but nothing was fun anymore and I didn't even enter my atelier. I didn't see the beauty in the sunrise anymore. In the bird that was eating the grains I laid out on the porch.

Lucida came to see me, but I banned her from the house, from ever coming to see me again. It was for the best and would keep her from getting hurt or killed because of me. Like my family did. Mariann tried to talk to me as well, but I just cooked a small dinner and gave short answers to her questions. Everyday I went to the graves of my grandmother and my grandfather, crying the first week, getting more angry each time, before I had another break down and was a crying mess once more.

I hated myself for it. I hated all of me, for all that I did, for all that I caused.

Now it is time to right my wrong doing, as Snow phrased it. And I'd rather jump out a window, but even that chance Snow took from me. I dress as casually as I can. A black pair of jeans, dark green knitted sweater, brown boots and a grey wool jacket. My hair is in a simple braid and I have no makeup on when I stand on the platform in the early morning.

This train only has one train compartment for person transportation so I just get on and since the train is mostly a cargo train it's going way faster than the tribute train and I am in the Capitol after only 7 hours, so around noon, maybe a little later.

And as promised I am picked up at the station by the same person who is the driver of the car. He doesn't speak much, which I prefer and drives me through the town.

"Your first stop."

I am very much confused, but don't protest, because it wouldn't have changed a thing. The driver is just doing his job, so I get out and step into the building which happens to be a doctors office. I scoff. Do they need to check me through before violating me?

A woman with black hair with the ends dyed blue, dark skin and small golden tattoos steps towards me. "Talisa Moreno, if I am correct?" "Yes?" "I am Cianai. Please follow me."

The room was equipped with a table and two seats. Some cabinets and a weird looking chair, as well as a padded table.

"You have an appointment for a hormone based contraceptive that is induced via injektion and holds up to 8 months. You also have a routine check up, but it shouldn't take long. If you could please undress."

I do as she asks me to. She weighs me and takes my measurements. Takes blood and checks my lungs and my reflexes, my eyes and my bones and joints.

"You are slightly underweight, but other than that completely fit. You can put your pants back on", Cianai informs me and readies a syringe.

"I am truly sorry", she mutters as she pierces my skin with the needle. "I really am."

I don't know what to say, so I just mutter a thank you. I am happy about the injection, at least I won't get pregnant by one of the creeps.