Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter X

Around 4.30pm I start to get ready for the dinner and change into a nicer pullover and apply some makeup, as well as undoing my braid, so my hair is now falling down my back in small waves.

With the flowers in hand I walk over to the next house and knock, just to be surprised to be greeted by a small blonde girl.

"Wooow, you are really pretty", she awwes.

"Thank you, so are you. What's your name darling?"

"I am Theresa. And you?"

"My name is Talisa, see not so different", I smile and Theresa takes my hand, guiding me into the house.

"Oh, Talisa, honey. Nice that you're here. Take a seat."

"I brought some flowers"

"Aww, thanks. So this is Theresa and the big doofus over there is Mike, my husband, and Daniel my son."

"You got kids. That's...nice", I mumble thinking about the victors children that often get sent into the games.

"I know, I know, but I don't regret it. They are my whole pride."

I enjoy the dinner and absolutely adore Mariann's kids. Theresa is adorable and so funny that my stomach hurts later that evening, even though that could be from eating too much as well. Daniel is a little more reserved, but he loves writing stories and showed me one of them while blushing furiously. Marianns husband is very kind. He has a calm voice but is strong enough to pick up both his kids and after both parents brought their children to bed we sat around the fireplace and after some glasses of wine or in Mikes case bourbon, we had a deep philosophical conversation about vampires and chupacabras.

I then walked the short home, stumbling slightly when I moved up the stairs. That night I wasn't plagued by nightmares, but the headache the next morning was just as bad.

Nothing happened for a long time, but I fell into a routine that was comfortable. I got up early in the morning and trained, then spent time with my grandparents and we are cooking together from time to time. I am reading and then playing with Marianns kids, a small run, evening snack, reading or drawing and then going to sleep. Of course showering and sometimes even a bath in between. On the weekend Lucida and I go to the market and into boutiques.

The only day that that routine changed was my eighteenth birthday. My grandparents made a cake, Daniel wrote a poem and Theresa sang a song with Lucida. Mariann and my grandparents bought me new paint and canvases as well as some books and Mike got me eighteen bottles of our favourite wine. We had a great time and I laughed so much, dancing with Theresa and making jokes with the adults.

Sooner than I wanted, half a year was over and my victory tour was just around the corner. I dreaded this more than anything else, since I killed the majority of the tributes myself. And looking into the eyes of their parents isn't really something I want to do, but Snow just has to rub it into our faces. 'Look at her how she is celebrated for killing your child'

It currently is 4am and I haven't slept for more than 30min and probably won't close an eye again, so I just get up and walk over into the Atelier and start painting, putting my mind at ease. It's a forest at night, moonlight illuminating a deer with elegant antlers on a mossy clearing. The sky is a dark blue, almost black, only interrupted by small spots off white vicarious stars. I am just correcting the shading and then my prepteam storms in, as well as my escort Frensesia, who I haven't seen since my games. They admire my artwork which is already filling the room and then usher me into the shower to remove the colours covering my arms and even my face. But this time they shove bottles into my hands that I have to use, so the shower takes about 40min. But my hair is beautiful afterwards, just to be pulled and braided and pinned up by my team again. Once again my makeup is held more natural, some nude lipstick and brown eyeshadow. My hair is braided and all the single strands are pinned back into a bun which has small gems set into it. My dress is once again a two piece, this time in green, contrasting my hair but fitting to my eyes. It is not shiny, but matte just like the black pumps Keaton forced me into. The tour would start in my District, then we are going all the way to 12 and then go down the numbers until we reach the Capitol.

Frensesia presses cards into my hands. "Just read these. And don't fuck it up", she grumbles and stalks out. "Is she having her menopause or what?", I mumble and the whole team chuckles, even they don't like Frensesia. The stage that I am now very familiar with is decorated in yellow and white, making my dress stand out even more, but to hell with it, at least it's going to be easy here. I didn't kill Juniper. I read through the cards once again as I stand behind the doors leading onto the stage, putting them away once the doors are opened and applause is to be heard.

"The Victor of these years Hunger Games! Talisa Moreno!"

"Hello everybody", I say into the microphone handed to me, "I just wanted to say that it has been an honour to represent this District and to make you all proud. It has been an honour to be a Victor of one of the outer Districts and to be able to raise us up. The Games...", I gulp,"The Games unite us, they give this nation a chance to grow and show off each Districts strength. I am proud and happy to have been a part of this and have emerged victorious." More cheering, then I turn to Junipers family.

"I am sorry that you lost your son. But he died making a big sacrifice for this nation and he didn't die a coward, he fought and in this way also brought pride to all of us. Let's all thank him for that and thank the Capitol for raising him to his full potential. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever", I finish, gritting my teeth. Applause, and then the doors are shut again. We all have dinner with the mayor. A dark skinned man with a tall build and a friendly smile. It was nice conversing with him, because he spoke to me like I was normal. Not a kid, not a victor, just a person.

Then I was ushered onto the train. A whole day would pass until we reached District Twelve and I just put off the dress and snuggled into the blankets, trying my best to sleep, which of course didn't work. I woke up screaming in the middle of the night and this time I couldn't just draw another starry night, another forest. I couldn't draw Finnick, nor Johanna. Finnick I drew three times. Once wielding a trident, once sitting against the pole on the rooftop watching the sunrise and once just a portrait, a mischievous glint in his sea green eyes and a smirk on his lips. The background was similar to his eye colour which I mixed from five different greens and blues. Johanna I drew sitting in the training center, black surrounding her, an axe lying next to her. I drew sunsets and sunrises, the Capitol and the District. The fields and the people at work. The skin sunkissed and hands rough. I once tried to draw the arena, but experienced such vivid flashbacks that I burned it. I drew mountains and my grandparents, but here, I couldn't do that, I couldn't draw, couldn't escape my own mind. So I wandered around the train, meeting the same Avox girl that worked in the living quarters in the Capitol. She took one look at me. My tousled and from sweat-damp and sticky hair, the dark circles that must be forming under my eyes and carefully took my hand, leading me to the back of the train, giving me a blanket and showing me through motions that she will be right back once she moves to go. She comes back with a cup of a steaming liquid. She had a small notepad with her and wrote on it. 'It's tea made from herbs"

Now I am gratefully sipping the tea, but then have a different idea. "Can I have the pad? Just temporarily of course?", I question and she hands it to me without blinking.

"Sit, please", I say and she looks confused, but obliges and I start sketching. It wasn't easy since I didn't have a lot of room and only a simple pencil, but it worked. I focused only on the distance between her nose and her lip, the angle of her jaw and the curve of her eyebrows. Once I was finished I handed the pad back to her.

"What is your name?", I question and she looks around nervously. "I am not going to tell anybody", I reassure her and she writes it underneath the small portrait. 'Penelope'

"That is a beautiful name" 'Nobody called me that in a very long time. The drawing is beautiful as well', she writes on the next page, but crumbles it up shortly after and, after looking around once more, throws it out of the trains window.

"Thanks for the tea Penelope", I thank her and nip on it. She waves as she leaves and I smile. Even though she can't talk, I like her most out of all the people on this train. Except my mentors maybe. Them I like as well.