Fire and Water 1)The Darkness Within

Doubt

Jason's POV

I'm pontifex. Ex-praertor. The son of Jupiter, destined hero.

Yet I find myself knocked out cold during most battles.

Unconscious. And it's troubling. What if people get hurt? What if I can't save them?

What if?

My life is a constant what if. I've been judged since before I could even walk. Expectation over expectation.

He's the son of the king of the God! He will be great.

He's destined for a hero's life.

Ah, Jason grace! Too bad he chose the Fifth Cohort. He should be in the first!

I always knew he would be praetor some day.

These expectations whispered around me all my life. I had to be great. I couldn't disappoint.

I resented it all my life.  And I still do. (The limelight in me is quaking) I hated being so powerful, no that's the wrong term.

I hated being so calm and collected. I hated being so expected of.

I was afraid.

I wanted to burst, to just be angry.

I wanted to cry.

But I couldn't. Because I was Jason Grace.

So much heart took another beating when I saw Ray faint and fall into Percy's arms. Because I couldn't help her. Because she was fighting head on with Olympus and I was the useless son if Jupiter, who stood there, helpless.

And my mind scolded me, tore me down to the extent to which I couldn't speak.

Thank goodness for Piper. She's been with me throughout. She knows what I'm going through.

"It's all right Jason, it's not your fault. Calm down", she whispered comfortingly into my ear and she held my hand and gave it a sqeeze.

But I felt unworthy.
All I had done so far, was cut up some weeds. And avoided passing out.

I didn't want to be a demigod. Because i didn't trust myself anymore. One tiny thing could happen and I could lash out.

I was the son of Jupiter. The king of the gods. The most powerful of the gods. Me lashing out would cause some serious damage.

But I just wanted to let it all go

What if i can't control my powers?
What if I hurt anyone?
What if I hurt Piper?

What if?

                           —————

Hey guys, how are you holding up? I'm bored.

But I've changed the cover of the book, and now I have decided that the covers of this series(yes I said series) is going to be how Ray looks. It's going to be her aesthetic and a picture of her.

So that all I needed to say.

Rhea