Le Penchant

2| shot Chocolate!

I booked a Grab immediately and headed straight to my condo, though Alonzo wanted me to let their driver drive me home, I insisted that I needed to be alone.

Isa pa, baka mainis lang sakin si Ma kapag nalaman niyang iyong designated driver niya mismo ang naghatid sakin, since he's the only one available this day.

"Hello?" Sinagot ko yung tawag, it's from Shirley, blockmate ko sa college. We both got in sa firm na pinapasukan ko, though Industrial Engineer siya, meanwhile I graduated Civil.

"Do you want me to pick you up girl? Along the way naman yung bar na pupuntahan--Ayyy! ano ba hehe!" Malanding 'to, my nose scrunched up when I heard a male's voice sa background.

"Hindi na Shirley, asikasuhin mo 'yang lalake mo," I laughed, shaking my head, kahit kelan free na free talaga 'tong babae na 'to sa buhay niya.

The mere thought of me adapting her liberty in life kind of put me on edge, I want something like that.

Pero hindi naman lahat ng gusto natin, makukuha natin.

Diba?

"Ay grabe siya oh! osya sige-- ayy! ano ba ha!--" I groaned and rushed to end the call, mabilis na akong nag-ayos, I could never wear skimpy clothes even before.

Hindi dahil pinagbabawalan ako ni Alonzo, he actually wasn't protective with my clothing at all, siguro dahil pasok rin naman sa taste niya ang style ko kaya hindi ko naranasan mapagalitan sa suot ko?

I settled for a flowy black v-necked dress that reached just the length above my knees, it showed a bit of skin, just the right kind.

Hindi naman ako lalabas para lumandi—not that I know how to,  nakalimutam ko na ata, sa pitong taon naming pagsasama ni Alonzo. I just wanted to vent out my frustrations, and alcohol may have been one of my comfy options.

Contemplating whether I'd take my car—well, the car my fiancé gave me last year. Or not since I could be pretty smashed after a few hours at baka ma-involve pa ako sa car crash bago pa 'ko magpakasal.

So, I chose to book a Grab instead.

Upon arriving sa bar na tinext sakin ni Shirley, I was already thirsty for the bitter but quenching taste of alcohol. I was ready to drown with my own drunken thoughts.

The bar is thankfully near my condo since sa BGC lang naman 'to, and my condo is just in Libis. Entering the bar made my nerves calm down, I was expecting it to be overly crowded just like the clubs we've always been to, pero this bar is pretty chill.

People were just enjoying their drinks, it's almost as if it was a lounge area but the smell that surrounded it was intoxicating with alcohol, smoke, and all sweet fragrances.

Mabilis kong nakita si Shirley, she was waving her hand vigorously at me while the other one was holding a whole bottle of Cuervo, she was with our usual drinking squad and of course, 'yong paiba-ibang lalake niya.

"Handito na yung Chocolate!" natawa ako ng bahagya nang sumigaw si Vince—he always does this.

Tinanguan ko 'yung iba, Vince is with his girlfriend–si Genieva, she's a med-student so she's practically living with reviewers like it's a daily vitamin, kahit minsan nasa ganitong set-up ay nagrereview parin siya sa phone niya, no one complained though, everyone's used to it. Katabi nila si Sage, Hera, at sa hulihan ay si Shirley.

Agad akong inabutan ng shot, I gulped in two immediately. Hera shooked her head, slyly smiling at me.

"What?" Tanong ko nang napa-upo ako sa tabi ni Shirley na busy sa lalake niya.

"Problematic much bride-to-be?" Hera chuckled slightly habang sinisimsim yung inumin niya.

Sage smirked at the sight of me.

"What happened now?" He was grinning like an idiot habang naka de-cuatro sa harapan ko.

"Wala, " tahimik akong sumagot, not really in the mood to answer their questions, habang inaabot ang isa pang shot.

I needed this. Ito nalang yung kaunting freedom ko, parang sakal na sakal na ako sa mga nangyayari saakin, but I always intend to understand—para kay Alonzo 'e, kailangan kong intindihin.

"Nothing my ass! Lunok sa kasinungalingan!" Vince shouted habang tinataas ang dalawang shot glass sabay lagok sa isa at yung isa naman inabot niya sa girlfriend niya ng marahan, which Gen took hungrily.

Nababaliw na siguro sa human anatomy, all of us understood her, kahit lahat 'man kami engineering students, iba-iba 'mang field alam pa rin naman namin hirap niya.

"Wala nga," I muttered pushing myself stubbornly to not stand down from my answer, I leaned my head back to relax.

"Tell us Hershey, baka mabaliw ka," Hera shrugged her shoulders, sharply looking at me.

"Basta ako, sabihin mo lang sa'kin na ayaw mo tumuloy sa kasal, ako agad magsasabi ng 'Itigil ang kasal!'." Sigaw nanaman muli ni Vince na nagpatawa sa aming lahat.

I felt a comforting hand on my back, I looked beside me, Shirley was caressing my back in a motherly way nang mamalayan kong wala na 'yong lalake niya.

"Alam mo kase girl, break-an mo na habang maaga pa," she softly said, the others made noise to show their agreement, which made my heart ache.

How could they even suggest that? Sa tingin ba nila gano'n nalang kadali lahat 'yon, iiwan mo 'yong tao basta-basta, paano naman iyong mga binuo niyong memorya habang kayo pang dalawa?

"Maaga? Seven years na, anong maaga 'dun?" Sage hastily said—never naman niyang inapprove si Alonzo para sakin, we've been looking out for each other since seventh grade like brothers and sisters, we knew each other even before college started at nagkakilala kami ng mga baliw na 'to.

"Don't tell her to give up on a seven year relationship, when hindi niyo naman alam kung anong pakiramdam 'nun." Hera said while she looked at her shot glass attentively.

I squirmed, talking about my relationship with Alonzo had me uncomfortable for the past few years already.

"Ano ba kasing nangyari girl?" Shirley nudged me at inabot sakin ung shot ko.

"Hindi ko alam. Naguguluhan ako, basta ang alam ko mahal ko," I croaked out, I know I only said the truth, pain was visible in my voice.

Nakakarinding marinig mismo ang sarili mong masaktan, nakakasawa, lagi nalang.

"Antagal mo nang martyr giiiiiirl."

Isa pang shot.

"Antagal mo ng tanga 'e," I heard Sage said.

"Lahat naman tayo natatanga sa pag-ibig," si Hera naman ngayon.

Shot parin.

"Mahal ko 'nga," ipinaglaban ko, my eyes closed for a moment, pinagkrus ko naman sa isa't isa ang braso ko.

"Mahal mo pa ba? 'o nasanay ka nalang talaga na mahalin siya, na parang naging obligasyon mo na?" It was Gen's words that made me tear up. My heart was aching, gusto kong umiyak, gusto kong humagulgol pero hindi ko na kaya.

Pagod na 'ko.

"SHOT! CHOCOLATE!"