Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

If I wasn't gay for Samara Morgan I'm gay for Heather Chandler

"Vic, wake up, you have classes today."

I groaned, swatting at Kellin. "You don't have to yell."

"I'm whispering," He chuckled.

"Fuck, how hungover am I?" I opened my eyes, but closed them quickly after once seeing the bright lights.

"You were pretty wasted, according to Jaime."

"Ugh, do I have to go to class?" I whined.

"You've already missed so many, come on." I had, ever since the one night stand with Kellin, I'd been avoiding getting out of bed, really. Unless it was to get drunk, like last night.

"Fine..," I muttered. I couldn't remember last night. I remembered getting a ride from Jaime to that weird bar, ValYourPal, and ordering as much alcohol as I could. "What happened last night?"

Kellin shrugged while I stumbled into my jeans. "You got drunk and Jaime called me to pick you up."

"Oh." I frowned. "Sorry if I was, um, annoying."

"Not at all." He smiled, and I force myself to smile back. He doesn't take it though. "You okay?"

I hummed and pursed my lips. I stepped into my brown boots, shakily pulling them over my heel.

"Bullshit." He stopped me from leaving, lightly grabbing my arm. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged. "Uh, I have a killer hangover?"

Kellin frowned, sighing. "Be honest with me. When was the last time you, y'know." He nodded at my arm.

"Like, since the last time you found me? And took my.. scissors." It was awkward saying the word, or any words relating to the subject of self harm. I didn't like it, it made me shudder.

"Bullshit, let me see," Kellin ordered.

"Its fine," I groaned.

"If it's fine, let me see."

"Geeze, you sound like some show character." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just concerned about you. You did, didn't you? You relapsed?" His face held sympathy, disappointment, concern. Each emotion making me more angered.

"No, I didn't. I just- I don't like the scars, I'm not proud of them." It was true, I didn't want to go around showing everyone the marks I gave myself. While I sometimes caught myself smiling down at them, I hated that I felt that way towards them. I just wanted to be normal.

Be normal, Vic.

"I- I understand that. Please, just let me make sure you're not lying," Kellin begged. "I care about you, a lot."

"You sure as hell cared about me when you had sex with me only to say I was just a one time thing the next day," I hissed. The words flew out before I could stop them. But they were true, he did that and it hurt. Maybe I did like him, maybe I did want a future with him; Kellin Quinn.

"I-I-" I didn't let him finish. I was out the door in seconds, rushing to my car. For once I wanted to be in class, letting the knowledge of Sumerians distract me from the boy I was beginning to fall for. The fuckboy I was falling for.

"Hey man!" Jaime greeted me when I got into class. "You still hungover from last night?"

I nodded, letting out a long exaggerated sigh as I sat down. I wasn't in the mood for small talk after this morning. Kellin had no right to talk to me about that after everything.