Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

A Party Song (The Walk of Shame)

Friday.

Jaime's house towered in front of me. I had my basic outfit; unbuttoned flannel, Joji T-shirt, black jeans and a maroon beanie. My hair wasn't in the best state, but it would live.

The fear remained though. The dread, more so, of going into this house for a party I was only going to for the sake of my friends feelings and avoiding my brothers threats.

"Just an hour or two. You can make that," I told myself. With that, I walked into the house.

An act I regretted immediately. The smell of sweaty, drunk, teenagers. The noise of music from the living rooms while they danced and talked. Not my spice. My room, myself, my guitar, that's my spice.

"You came!" Jaime shouted, walking over to me with his arm extended for a half hug. In his other hand he held a bottle of alcohol. "Want a drink?" He asked. I opened my mouth to say no, but changed my mind.

"Sure." Why not? What's the worst that could happen? I get drunk, start a riot, or hook up with another drunk guy, that's what, but I doubted I'd get that far. Just one drink.

"Be normal, Vic."

I was being normal.

Jaime came back quickly after he'd left, handing me an identical bottle of alcohol. The smell was horrid, as most alcohol is, but I drank it.

"Eugh." I nearly spat it out after my first sip.

Jaime laughed and patted my back. "You'll live." He walked off to some other friends of his, and I was alone.

You never leave your introvert friend alone at a party, it's common law.

But he had. And I just stood there by the doorway like an idiot, overlooking the groups of bodies until I felt someone run into me.

"Shit, sorry man!" The person said.

"S-Sorry." I looked up, embarrassed, at the boy who'd run into me. Shoulder length black hair, blue eyes, pale. Kinda cute.

"Nah, it's not your fault," he assured me.

"I was standing in the doorway, you wouldn't have known-"

"I said it's okay! Relax. You a friend of Jaime's?" He asked.

I nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Vic."

"Kellin." He extended his hand and I had no choice but to shake it. I didn't like people; friendly, outgoing people high on that list. Just below douches, which could lead to a number of sub groups like homophobes, fuck boys, etc. He was definitely outgoing, and possibly part of a said sub group.

I didn't respond. Instead I let the hand shake go on longer than either of us would like.

"Well," Kellin broke the silence and pulled his hand away, "Nice meeting you, Vic, see you around." He gave me a look as he walked away. One I couldn't decipher, but knew I didn't like it immediately.

"I think someone has their eyes out for you," Jaime whispered to me, suddenly appearing by my side.

"Le fuck did you just appear?" I jumped. "A-And no! He's some guy who ran into me. Some guy who's extroverted, from what I've seen, and that's the opposite of what I like."

"People are the opposite of what you like."

"Exactly. Besides, you're probably just desperate for someone to like me and he was just being.. I don't know, weird."

"Vic, you seriously need to get out more." Jaime said with a concerned look.

"I do! I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, and it's March. I've thrown at least a party a month since the start of school, and how many have you attended? None. How many times have you rejected me when I asked to hang out? Every time," Jaime countered.

"I went out that one time-!"

"That one time Mike found you in your room doing whatever that worried him, and dragged you out of the apartment," he interrupted.

I didn't want to think about that, or that night. Or the night after when Mike talked to me about it.

"I still went out. And I'm here now, is that enough?"

Jaime sighed. "Sure, I guess."

The night went by. A bit too slow, but by the end of it I was able to go home.

I saw Kellin staring at me a few times, but I pretended not to notice.

He bumped into me again, though. By the end of the night.

"Sorry!" He apologized immediately. "This time it was my fault."

I smiled, awkward and shy, and laughed quietly. I quickly rushed away after. By the time I made it to my house and on my bed, I felt something in my back pocket and heard the crunch of it hit the bed.

Paper. A note.

420-420-6995
Call me (;

~Kellin

Oh. Course. Maybe Jaime was right. God damn it.

I hate this.

In fourth grade I had a crush and wrote him a letter like the one above but without a smiley face 'cause ew. But remembering it eugh. He's like a brother to me now.

Well uh-

Stay salty,

~ISweepy