Tj's pov:
Craig put my bag down and hugged me goodbye, phoenix kissed me gently and I wiped the tears away from her cheeks "you'll be okay babe, I'll be back soon okay?" She nodded and hugged me "please get better soon teej, I'll visit you whenever I can." she mumbled into my chest and I kissed her hair and she looked up at me "I love you phoenix." I told her and she smiled "I love you to." a nurse walked back in and told us that i had to leave now, i hugged phoenix again and picked up my bag "i'll call you soon baby." i said and followed the nurse to the elevator, phoenix walked down with me and held my hand tightly when we got to the elevator she let go and i turned to face her. she kissed me passionatley and clung to me tighter than she'd ever done before. we pulled apart and i stepped into the elevator "i love you tj." she called after me, ignoring the stares she got, i made a heart shape with my hands as the doors closed. the nurse went through everything that was going to happen while im in this ward and everything, i didnt take anything away from it and thought about how long i'd be away from phoenix for. "okay Mr Bell we're here now, a new nurse will take you through to the ward where your bags will be checked for objects that you may be able to harm yourself with." i nodded and she left so the new nurse could sign me in and all that bull shit. after they'd violated my hoodie's and stolen my shoelaces, they led me to my room, phoneless and alone they introduced me to my roommate "this is ben, ben this is your roommate thomas." i glared at her "actually its tj." i said politley and she waved it off "dinners in two hours, get settled, ben will take you to meet the others." the door shut and this 'ben' guy finally turned to face me "oh my god its you ben!" i exclaimed and he shrugged "yup. the one and only ben bruce." i looked away from his pale face and dead eyes "phoenix never said you were here." i looked back at him and he looked at the ground "she doesnt know.. only the guys do.." i nodded "what about danny?" i asked completley clueless about everything, he looked up at me and burst into tears "he's in rehab, almost overdosed in the bathroom.. we all thought he was gone for sure.. why i wound up in this shit pit.." i nodded "what about you?" he asked and i sighed "they got pissed at me after my third attempt and decided i was definitley bad enough to get shipped off here." he nodded not pressing further "wanna go meet the others?" he asked and i shrugged following him into the corridor and down to a large lounge room, there were four guys spread across the couches and two sat at a table in a corner. i recognised a few of them from bars and things but i didnt know anyone other than ben. "okay guys, this is tj, be nice, he's new." ben said and i stood awkwardly like i was a nervous five year old starting school. 'life without fear isnt living at all. go talk to them tj!' i thought to myself remembering a quote i read somewhere ages ago. i walked over to the couches and sat down next to a tattooed ginger guy, next to him was another tattooed guy who was tall even sitting down! "im alan this is austin." the ginger guy introduced them as "we're alex and jack." a guy with spiky pink and brown hair said, introducing the other brown haired boy sat next to him. "there kellin and matty." a small guy said walking into the room and over to the table in the corner "and im vic." he added and i nodded smiling slightly now that i knew everyone "sup guys." i said greeting them all awkwardly. the rest of the day went smoothly until group therapy.. "so tj as your neew would you like to share?" the dude said and i shrugged "so, start with your name and how your feeling right now." i nodded "well im tj, and im feeling in between." the dude nodded and then pressed on "what are you inbetween? inbetween emotions?" i noddeed "what emotions." i glared at the ground why do i need to do this stupid shit. "sad and alone or happy." i said blankly "why is this?" he asked and i mentally yelled at him to shut up "because i miss my family and my girlfriend, but i made some friend here so im not techniqually alone." the dude the decided to make me share why i'm here "errm, i attempted suicide and they decided to send me here because you apparently need to have more than one attempt to be classed as a danger to your self." i said venom lacing my last few words "do you want to be here?" the dude asked and i mentally groaned "oh yes of course i do, i love the fact that im here, yanoe, cause apparently i'm crazy and will try and kill myself any chance i get! oh yeah and i'd probably use a fucking shoe lace to do it!" i told him sarcasm dripping from my every word. the dude glared at me as everyone burst out laughing "well maybe you'll think twice about your decisions in the future." the dude said bluntly and i joined the laughter "of course! and maybe you'll think twice about giving bull shit advice to a kid that knows dying isnt a first resort or a last when it comes to solving a problem! fucking hell cause everyone in this room wants to be sat on a plastic chair locked up in here, or sleeping on an uncomfortable hospital while their families are getting on with their lives! cause everyone in this psych ward wants to fucking be here! wow people are fucking stupid." i told him, i noticed the silence in the room and decided it was time for me to leave. i got up and walked out to my 'room' and threw myself onto the hard matress after slamming the door shut. oh how i'd give evrything to be home watching cartoons with leila or watching phoenix play with alan.. or even winding up robert and max about their pda.
listening to city of sin escape the fate.
