Chapter 10: yeah its me...

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Phoenix pov:

I woke up in a familiar bunk, yet it still wasn't my own, and the I recognised the familiar scent of raspberry shampoo and the events of last night flooded back.. I sat up and slid out of monte's bunk knowing he wasn't in there as well was easier on my mind but it didn't help the thoughts swirling about whether the guys knew or not. I pulled on an oversized black hoodie that I think belonged to dad, might've been Roberts, he won't mind anyways. I walked out of the bunk room and into the bathroom, seeing the fact that it was clean, not a trace of last nights events was visible, not even a blade in the bin.. I immediately felt guilty knowing that monte had done this so the guys didn't have to know. I walked into the living room after brushing my teeth and all that crap, knowing that the guys would notice my red puffy eyes, but they'd assume it was about monte, I walked straight through the living room and grabbed the milk carton drinking from it and then going back to the lounge. I sat down next to Tj and realised monte wasn't out here. "so guys what are we doing today?" I asked with a small smile "we're travelling all day, so you can basically go back to sleep." dad told me and I nodded "that's where my hoodie went!" Robert said and I nodded "you can have it back just not yet." I said sticking my tongue out at him and walking back to my bunk, I opened the curtain and realised why monte wasn't in his bunk with me, he was in mine so he didn't have to face me about Annabel.. I held back tears and shook him awake "monte you can get back into your bunk now." I whispered knowing his head would hurt a lot judging by the empty bottles "thank you for not telling the guys and cleaning everything and.. just thanks." I said and he just shrugged climbing into his bunk and curling up with his spare pillow. I closed his curtain and got into my bunk and as I lay waiting for my laptop to load I could've sworn I heard somebody crying. My laptop loaded and I immediately signed in to Netflix looking for a film to watch, I randomly chose an Adam Sandler and spent the rest of the movie either laughing or crying or laughing till I cried. when it was over I got up and went to the kitchen getting two glasses and filling them with milk, grabbing a bottle of Advil that dad kept in the kitchen for the guys' hangovers. I put it in my pocket and picked up the glasses ignoring the funny looks the guys gave me as I carried them both into the bunk room. I opened monte's curtain to see him awake and red eyed "oh it's you." he said and I nodded "yeah it's me.." I handed him the milk and the Advil taking in his teary eyes and messy hair "thanks." he mumbled and I just shrugged "thought you might need it." and with that I closed the curtain and climbed back into my bunk sliding what if into the disc player and pressing play, I curled up against the wall of the bus and put my laptop next to me listening to the sweet depression that is Daniel Radcliffe's voice..

I woke up around one to dad calling me, I climbed out of my bunk noticing that monte wasn't leaving anytime soon, not that I cared right now. I walked into the lounge and dad made me sit down. then the worst happened, he held up a small bloody blade "what's this phoenix?" he asked and I shrugged "not mine." I said and he shook his head "it was in the trash can." he told me and I shrugged again "I don't know how it got there." fucking hell monte there not as stupid as you think! learn to hide things better God dammit! "Phoenix roll up your sleeves." I pulled them further down "nope." I said popping the 'p' "Phoenix Clare Green roll up your sleeves." wow using my full name isn't going to help you make me do shit fucking hell "I don't want to roll up my sleeves." I said defiantly and dad folded his arms "you either roll up your sleeves or I'll do it." I folded my arms "I don't want to roll up my sleeves." I said through gritted teeth "tough fucking shit." dad said in the same tone "just roll them up phoenix." Robert said calmly, I ignored him "phoenix we're trying to help you." Craig said as if I were five years old "phoenix please." Tj said sadly I glared at them all and yanked up my sleeves exposing the recent red marks up and down my arms "are you fucking happy now?!" I yelled at them all close to tears at this point. they all stared at me, not knowing what to say, I pulled my sleeves down and turned, walking into the bunk room with silent tears rolling down my face, I didn't care that monte was still in here, I didn't care that his curtain opened and he saw me like this, I didn't give a fuck about any of it.. I climbed into my bunk, pulling my duvet around myself and sobbing. before I knew it somebody was hugging me and I was turned to face someone..

Monte's pov:

phoenix walked into the bunk room silently, tears streaking her pale face, she ignored me like i expected her to.. after she disapeared into her bunk i heard her sobs, muffled by her pillow and the seperation between our two bunks. i waited a few minuets and the sobs continued. not being able to help was unbearable and the more i heard her sob the more, each sob breaking my already broken heart.. so i did the only thing i could do, i climbed out of my bunk into hers, hugging her for a few seconds, I knew she was confused so I turned her over so she was facing me.. I didn't care that she'd probably freak out and push me away, yet I still took that risk like I did with helping her yesterday. but how she reacted shocked me after an entire month she wrapped her blatantly sore arms around me sobbed into my chest. "im so sorry monte, I never let you explain and I was such a dick to you yet you still helped me yesterday day and I don't know why you did it and oh my god I'm so sorry!" Phoenix sobbed and i tightened my grip "it's okay phoenix, I messed up and I know it if you want to can we go back to how we were?" I asked her and she nodded the sobs slowing a lot and after about half an hour her breathing returned to normal. phoenix sat up for a second rummaging through her bag before producing a blue tube with white lettering. she gently pulled up her sleeves to reveal her normally pale arms now covered in at least fifty red blotches per arm. She squeezed a small amount of the cream onto her finger and began gently applying it, wincing as the cool substance touched the open wounds. as much as this was awful to watch, at least I had phoenix back..

Listening to escape the fate let it go.

The picture is in no way related I just felt as if you guys needed to see it! have a nice night/day/whateveritiswhereeveryouare!

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