Chapter 9
(Summer’s Point of View)
The town car raced across the black asphalt as street lamps lined its path, sending bright gleams of light across the paint as the car passed under each one. I watched, quietly, through the window as each shinning gleam began at the front of the hood, tracing it with my eyes until we passed out from under the street lamps protective glow and the cars surface would be plunged into momentary darkness.
But then, the hood reached the next streetlamp and the car would light up again, the gleam of light beginning it’s familiar path, and I, with nothing to do since Max was sitting silently next to me offering no form of conversation, just continued to watch the pattern of the ever fading and growing flow of the bright lamp light.
It was a cycle, I came to realize, a never-ending pattern.
Maybe this was why I was so entertained by this dull repetition. It was like my life, except a streetlamp and its light version. My life was on constant repeat, a continuous re-run where nothing changed. And yet… it was still a pattern I was determined to break.
It was at that moment, with that thought, that I decided I would do whatever it took, while I had this time with Max and the chance to be honest with him (because who knew how long that would last) to change our relationship.
And I wasn’t asking for a miracle, I wasn’t asking for Max to fall in LOVE with me… Heck, I’d been used to living without love from Max for so long, I probably wouldn’t know what to do with it if I got it.
No. I just wanted to be friends with Max… or acquaintances. Anything but being the girl who he just brought to dinner when it was convenient. I wanted to know more about Max, I wanted to become part of his life in some small way.
These thoughts weren’t random, but in fact, completely logical, as I was slowly realizing that Max and I could break-up soon (if Will followed through on his promises that is) and I found my biggest fear about this was not that Max would be angry, but that the past 5 years of hurt and pain would all be for nothing.
I wanted so desperately, to come out of this relationship with something to show for it, instead of just the realization that I had dated the same guy for 5 years, and wasted that many years of my life trying to love, yet feeling alone and isolated.
I wanted to come out of it feeling like I had done something, learned something, changed something. Perhaps that something being Max. I twisted in my seat. Why not start now? Why not just try?
“Go for it,” I coached myself. “What could possibly go wrong? Just try to be friendly.” I then couldn’t help but look at the guy who had made my life a living hell for the past five years, and think ‘easier said than done’.
I swallowed nervously, my heart racing, “Um… Max?”
Max turned to me, looking a bit startled with wide eyes, as though he couldn’t imagine that I would ever be the one to begin the conversation, “Yeah?”
“Well, I was just wondering-“ and then my words were cut off I was suddenly thrown forward as the car pulled a hard stop. “What the...?” I gasped, as my seatbelt cut into my chest, leaving me a bit sore and breathless.
Max only shrugged and leaned back into the seat. “We must of hit traffic.”
I blinked slowly, “Traffic?” Max could only roll his eyes. “Well yeah. You know, traffic, it’s when there is a big mass of cars in one place and your car just can’t go anywhere. You’re stuck.”
“Very funny.” I stated venomously, unable to help it since he was making me mad. OK, so maybe I didn’t want to make friends with Max just yet. Besides, there would be plenty of time for that. “I know what traffic is, but I just meant, at this hour?”
