Blood Shadow

Chapter 9 - Library

" Hey brat, wake up" an annoyed voice called.
"Nooo......" I groaned as I rolled away from them.
"You better wake up now , or no food for the rest of the day" the voice threatened , feeling the person's killing gaze pierce through me.
I opened one of my eyes slightly only to see a fustrated Levi looking down at me with a foot deep in my ribs. What's he doing here ?! in my room, privacy invasion much. I rolled over in panic and fell of my comfortable bed with a loud THUD against the solid wooden floor boards. Of course, I didn't feel any pain, it was a nuisance really..... Because I don't know wether I'm ill or not, Except for the pains in my chest which I've been getting more often, I guess a normal person would be dying from the pain. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked after my embarrassing scene . " You skipped training yesterday , and you need to catch up" Levi glared , no care in his voice at all. He must've been really mad at me then.... Why does he care?
"Ugh , fine" I groaned , he nodded and left the room. Waiting outside of the door. I dressed as fast, struggling to strap up .Knowing that he would be pissed if I didn't , I managed to get dressed in 3 minutes and quickly fed Loki before whispering good bye to him, he took a good liking to me quickly , which was surprising.But I wouldn't really like violent bleeding pecks on my hands every time I tried to feed Loki.....
I combed my hair which needed to be washed and exited my room , standing next to Levi, who was leaning casually. "Lets go" Levi ordered , chucking a plain bread loaf at me. My reflexes were surprisingly good , despite it being 6 in the morning. The dusk in the sky was pure beauty , something that I wished to be.... It looked so calm , no violence or torment in its life in the sky. If only peace like that was possible. The view from the field was breath taking with a gentle comforting breeze but it wasn't the appropriate time to think that. Levi and I did multiple skills which were pretty difficult , like gun shooting , archery , weight lifting and hand to hand combat, it was my first time trying new experiences like that so I had to adjust quickly. I felt so fat and unhealthy , I was already panting to much from the weight lifting.....
"I was expecting you to be more powerful and skilled" Levi pointed out , I assumed that I have a goal to reach. oh well thanks for pointing out my imperfections like I didn't already know them I thought to myself. "Were you expecting something mind blowing or what?" I answered coldly , folding my arms whilst giving the signature Rivaille glare. He ignored my question and made me do full sprint laps.... karma is a bitch. Unfortunately, I didn't stretch properly and I felt my muscles struggling, even though I felt no pain. Levi chucked me a bottle of water afterwards and I quickly gulped down the refreshing liquid until the last drop. I could practically feel the awkwardness between us whilst I trained. "Hey brat , do you know anything about the Ackerman clan?" Levi asked out of nowhere whilst throwing a punch which I managed to block. I raised an eyebrow. "Well no , not really...." I confessed , I never knew anything important , of course my 'father' never taught me. "Well , I discovered that every Ackerman has a moment in their life where they experience true strength and are never the same as they were before that" Levi explained, as he dodged my side kick. I tilted my head , unsure of what he was saying but I managed to understand most of it. "So.... you think that if I train myself even further and push myself ... I can be truly powerful?" I suggested dodging his strong punch but I managed to get a hang of the idea. He nodded in response blocking my punch but suddenly stopped. "Training's over for today , see you tomorrow morning brat" He stated patting my head as a goodbye and strolled back into the corps building. I collapsed on the ground , the view of the blue sky was astonishing. I sighed in content 'True strength huh?" , that sounds pretty cool. Mikasa is strong right...? And Levi is strong too..... and their surname is Ackerman...... So . I'm technically related to Mikasa ?! whoa, that's weird. I travelled back into my room , and changed into another set of clothes since my current uniform was sweaty. It was pretty hot today and I had no other training so I took my tight straps off , rolled up my white sleeves and tied my survey corps jacket securely around my hips. Loki was wide awake and was chirping away , happy to see me. Then I remembered that I needed to search what species of bird Loki was and what his gender was....
I got a leather shoulder bag and carefully placed Loki's delicate twig nest at the bottom of the leather bag and his bird food into the bag as well. I decided that I shouldn't leave him alone , since his life is in my hands. I took some stale vegetable soup , a bottle of clean water and a loaf of dry bread , putting the bread in my bag and carrying the soup in my hand with care. Everyone was at training right now , so it was silent. I took a couple of silver coins with me just in case I needed it . I got a long grey cloak which fell to my calves which I wore to the town. It took me some time finding my way there , but I just managed. It was fairly busy , the market was open and children were playing. It was a pleasant sight to see.... Of course this time. I had to hide my visible scars and the colour of my eyes , changing them to a velvet purple .I can't imagine how people would react if they saw the real me.... they'd call me a freak probably, no... definitely . I saw the library right ahead , but a slight tug on my cotton cloak stopped me in my tracks. A looked down at the sight of a little boy , he was dirty , but that didn't really bother me.
"Excuse me miss........ I need food and water...." The child begged , I felt empathy for him, I understood how he felt. To starve for days on end , I gave him a smile and gave him my loaf of bread, my water and money , I didn't need it anyway. Tears of happiness was in his eyes " Thank you miss! You're very pretty! " the boy thanked me sincerely. "No problem kid , just watch out for muggers ok?" I smiled warmly , ruffling his brown hair. I couldn't do much to help him... Once you become poor , it's hard to get out.He nodded , a bright smile on his face as he ran down the street into the market of crowded people. I felt good , helping a child who was in need.....
Ah yes , the library...
I entered the warm room , which had a cosy smell of cinnamon. The space looked so comfy , there wasn't many people which made my life easier. I hope that I don't see anyone here..... I've never been in a library before. I've only heard of them, what they're used for and what they are like. I loved the atmosphere of pages flicking and the whispers of people. I sat on a table in corner where I had a clear view of the library. There was a desk in the right corner with a lady sitting on a chair and shelves of books which stood in rows and small tables scattered in different areas, I should definitely come here often. Now , to find a book. I searched at the first shelves , but I couldn't find if. I was certainly struggling and I was too shy to ask for help, damn me and my anti-social self. I sighed and took out a random book about how a human's mind works , but the book wouldn't leave the shelf. I pulled harder but something else was pulling from the other side. We played tug of war for a minute , but I accidentally went full strength and snatched the book harshly. I heard a bang from the other side of the shelf.
Oh god , I hurt someone , didn't I ?
I mentally slapped myself for my carelessness , but pushed the thought away and looked for the injured person. I watched around the corner , only to see Armin. "oww....." Armin pouted , rubbing his backside as he dusted off the dirt from his legs. I tried to quietly walk away so he wouldn't spot me , but it was no use. "Anei ?! what are you doing here? I didn't know that you liked to read!" Armin called to me, his face close to mine....a little too close. Why is he talking to me? Why isn't he scared ? "I don't really like to read.... I'm just here to look for a book, but I can't find it..." I revealed , refusing to make eye contact with him.But he didn't seem to mind , because he had the same gleam on his face. "Oh? what's the book about?" Armin asked , obviously trying to help. I suppose I could let him help me.....
"It's about birds" I stated , embarrassment taking over . I don't need his help...... but I actually do. "Ah! I know just the book! " Armin said , with joy , he took my hand in his and pulled me to the other side of the library and handed me a book that read 'everything about birds'. "I've read every book in this library , so I know how to find everything" Armin smiled, this guy must really like books.... "So , why do you want a book about birds anyway?" Armin asked suddenly.
I wonder if I should tell him...? I'm sure it's alright. "As long as you keep it a secret" I warned , pointing a finger in Armin's face. He nodded , diamond glints in his eyes. I beckoned him over with my hand , placing my brown leather bag carefully on the table.Armin gave me a questioning look. I opened my bag , and Loki was there , sound asleep in his cosy nest.Before he could ask why on earth I had a bird in my bag , I explained how I saved Loki from dying with no family and how I found him on the rooftop."Oh.... now I understand why you wanted that bird book..." Armin realised , he seemed to be comfortable. Which initially.... makes no sense. I was tense around him. I didn't know wether I should act like a friend despite yesterday's incident or to stay as a double hatred. Armin gave a long think to himself, "Ah yes , I remember now.... it's G32" Armin remembered "Wait here , I'll go and get the book" Armin offered , wandering off as he left me with Loki. I sat down on the hard oak chair and took out Loki's food. I woke him up lightly, he seemed dazed , but was fine as I started to feed him. Finally , Armin returned. It was a huge book which was deep maroon colour. Armin placed it on the table, causing it to slam. "Th-This.....is......the bird.....book" Armin panted , worn out from carrying the big book. I nodded, thanking him. Armin wasn't the fittest of guys , but he was surely smart .... he has a strong potential of being an excellent strategist . I stopped feeding Loki for a moment and opened the book ...... it wasn't in a normal language ..... I couldn't understand it.
I froze on the first page , having no idea how to read this style of language.
"I-i.... don't understand what it says..." I confessed in utter embarrassment. "Ah , it's because it's a very old book... so it's style is kinda old, it's alright , I'll read it for you" Armin offered kindly, understanding my confusion. "So.... what are you exactly searching for?" Armin asked , turning to the contents of the book.
" I want to find out what breed of bird Loki is, and if he's actually a male" I requested , I was grateful of Armin's consideration , but .... why would he do that? People are so confusing.
"Ah.... let's see" Armin mumbled to himself as he flicked through the crumpled pages of the old book. "Looking at Loki now.... he is a Bald eagle...... and is a boy" Armin observed the diagrams on the pages as he compared them to Loki. Armin's eyes switched to the clock, a hint of panic in his eyes. "Oh sorry Anei , I gotta go ! Our break is almost over!" Armin apologised , as he hurriedly went.
I opened my mouth to speak , but he already left.

I wanted to say thanks to him....

I sighed and slipped it away from my mind. The sky looked amazing, streaks of pink clouds and orange hazes stretched across the wide sky, which only seemed so limited due to the walls. I went back down the alleyways of the town to get back quicker. Armin looked uncomfortable since I clearly showed my scars now.... but the coldness on my neck snapped me to my senses. The necklace Levi gave me....
I took it out of my shirt and admired its beauty. I felt a slight connection with my mother now... since I had a possession that she used to wear. I smiled slightly , but my smile faded.
The alley I was casually walking down in , had a group of guys smoking pipes. I put my bag in an empty barrel in the alley. I'll clean up the trash then I'll continue to walk.
I made my way towards the group which contained about 4 guys. They were laughing like goofs , high on drugs obviously.... disgusting. They all stopped laughing and turned to me. "Oi! What do you think you're doing ? This is OUR alley 'lil girl' " one teased as the others laughed. "I'm just taking out the trash" I stated , they all stared at me as if I was stupid. It was merely a moral of mine. "Ooooh.... what's this .....?" The guys smiled cockily as he snapped my necklace from my neck. I stayed calm , knowing that they'd be dead soon. He held it in his dirty hands as if it was his. as if. it was. his. HIS. "Give it back, or you'll regret existing" I warned , my voice keeping control of my emotion. "haha , this girl is loose in the head or somethin" The guys mocked again ,who I predict is the leader. I flinched at his words..... loose... In the head .... huh? "Nah, I ain't got a screw lose ......" I chuckled to myself, they all looked at me , in disbelief.
My expression changed suddenly into a scowl , "I'm fucking crazy !" I yelled ,my mind going blank in a insane type of way. I quickly pulled the leader's head down and side kicked his head hard into the side wall in rage , leaving a huge smear of blood and a dead body, his hand loosely carrying my necklace.One dumb thing charged at me at full speed. I swiftly moved to the side ; pulled his body towards me and kneed his stomach with great force. I grinned victoriously as I heard the painful yet amusing cracks of his ribs , double points for me! He spat out a puddle of crimson blood and fell onto the dusty ground his eyes still wide open. The last two charged at once , linking two of their arms, trying to take me down in a single tackle. They came towards me , but I ducked down backwards; my hands reaching the floor. As soon as they went past me , I leaped up , grabbed the back of their heads from behind and flipped them down onto the ground. Blood was splattered everywhere , apart from my clothes. I was careful to not leave evidence of killing on me. I stepped over the bodies and retrieved my precious necklace and my leather bag from the barrel.
I held the necklace in my hands , treasuring it.It was a quiet walk back to the soldier's building. No one was out from their room , I heard the echo of my own footsteps as I walked down the hallways. I reached my room , but Levi was standing outside my door. I stopped right at my door , beside Levi.
" You reek of blood... what did you do?" Levi spoke dully , glancing at the necklace in my hand. "Oh nothing... just cleaned up the trash" I smirked , tucking my hands in my pockets. A grin hinted at his face and he walked away. But under his breath , I heard him whisper.... "that's my girl....". A great happiness hit me , I felt belonged in this place. But something was missing...... my purpose. What was my purpose ?
I flopped down on my bed in my thin pyjamas and placed Loki beside me. I covered myself in my warm duvet. As I drifted to my dream world...
What is my purpose ?