Crap

A Wattpad Rant

I love wattpad. I really, really do! It's a great website! But some of the wattpadians? Not so great... everything on here is vampire, or werewolf, or player... I don't know, but it's absolutely ridiculous. It's like, Twilight movies were only a success because Taylor Lautner is hot, and he was in it. Soooo... let's make some Santa Clause movie and put some hot guy in it. Are there going to be hundreds of Santa Clause stories that follow the release of the movie? God, I hope not. See my point?

My name iz Quinnerellahuleamindy, cuz obviously the avg 17 yr old has a name as unique and ridiculous as that! Your probly wndring what I look lyk! I'm a nerd. I'm ugly with big, deep brown eyes and luscious caramel curls. I wear shirts with Carebears on them, and light pink sweatpants that only come down to just below my shins. My tennis shoes are ratty and dirty. My older brother has a best friend. He is very hot. His name is Anthony, and he ignores me. Except for once I thought I heard him say I love you to me under his breath. But I definitely mishrd him. I mean, why would he have said that? I'm really, really ugly! Just then, Anthony pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me. At first I was gonna say g2g... but then I was like, maybe brb and go consult my brother about this? Then I was like OMG ILY! What actually came out of my face hole was, "This is totes not right. I'm such a nerd, and you're a player that uses girls like tissues. You also play a lot of sports and are very hot, because every guy is like that!" Then you replied, "I'm sexy. That means that this is okay." I said, "Yes. You're right. Let's kiss some more." So then we kissed. Suddenly, we saw each other all the time in the halls, and my brother was totes okay with us being frenemies. We argued back and forth, but some people like my one and only best friend Kimberlesianne thought we were flirting. Pretty soon, I fell for you and you fell for me. Nobody could believe that the school's popular player fell for the school's ugly but actually beautiful and envied nerd. I got a makeover in like two minutes because I'm rich and awesome, and suddenly became really popular. My parents never knew about this, because they're never home. They're always making more money. That's why I'm super rich. Whenever they are home, though, they're abusing me because obviously over 75% of parents are abusive. They almost got a divorce about seventy-six times but they decided that they abuse me better as a team. I put up with it and cut myself, but nobody at school knows that. Calling the child hotline thingy never once crossed my mind even though I have a cell phone with me at all times. I was raped. The end. Oh, and me and Anthony got married. Now it's the end. Oh, wait, did I mention that my best guy friend, Lucasiayomohoshi turned out to be gay in the end? Now you know! The end. OH WAIT I FORGOT SOMETHING! Don't worry, it's the last thign, I promise. My English teacher was a vampire and he was really hot and we had a teacher/student relationship because that's not creepy or awkward at all. THE END.

I think (I hope) you get my point. That was a wonderful story, I know! That right there contains just about everything I hate about wattpad. Don't get me wrong, some people can craft quality stories that have cliche things about them! Like... They Were Expecting a Princess, Instead They Found Me. Or whatever it's called. And... what's another one? For Hating Me You Sure Are Possessive! I love that! And Mr. Player, You've Just Been Played. That book is fantastic! OMG WHITE LIES AND RED LEATHER ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING! READ THEM! Sorry for dying there... anyway... another thing that annoys me.

When your titles are so fucking long and irritating that they give away half the plot! It's like... "i thought i liked him but then some other guy came and we started dating and he's a vampire now he's my mate wtf?!?!?!?"

First of all... no capitalization in the correct places, too much punctutation, there's text talk, and I could probably tell you exactly what happens in that book just by reading the title. It's just too fricken long. You could just as easily call it, "Confusion has Fangs".

A/N- So that's all for my wattpad rant! I'm sorry, I'm losing humor, I know! I hope you guys boost me up to 30 votes! *fingers crossed* I really want to be able to do that competition! :) I hope you found this chaptere even semi-funny! Next chapter should be up within the next week and a half. <3