Crap

Percy Jackson Part 2

“Mr. D, wearing his leopard-skin jogging suit and rummaging through the refrigerator.
He looked up lazily. "Do you mind?"
"Where's Chiron!" I shouted.
"How rude." Mr. D took a swig from a jug of grape juice. "Is that how you say hello?"
"Hello," I amended. "We're about to die! Where's Chiron?”

“Aretmis gripped her bow. “Let us pray I am wrong.”
"Can goddesses pray?”

“Good fighting with you, Seaweed Brain."
"Ditto.”

“Um, dad?" I called "How's it going?"
"Percy!" Annabeth whispered. "We're in a hurry!”

“We need music," Nico said. "How's your singing?"
"Um, no. Can't you just, like, tell it to open? You're the son of Hades and all."
"It's not so easy. We need music."
I was pretty sure if I tried to sing, all I would cause was an avalanche.

“Elections only happen in two ways," Reyna said. "Either the legion raises someone on a shield after a major success on the battlefield-and we haven't had any major battles-or we hold a ballot on the evening of June 24, at the Feast of Fortuna. That's in five days."
Percy frowned. "You have a feast for tuna?”

“Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."

"You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him.

"Those are vegetables.”

“The older lady harrumphed. "I warned you, daughter. This scoundrel Hades is no good. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to eat the pomegranate."
"Mother-"
"And get stuck in the Underworld!"
"Mother, please-"
"And here it is August, and do you come home like you're supposed to? Do you ever think about your poor lonely mother?"
"DEMETER!" Hades shouted. "That is enough. You are a guest in my house."
"Oh, a house is it?" she said. "You call this dump a house? Make my daughter live in this dark, damp-"
"I told you," Hades said, grinding his teeth, "there's a war in the world above. You and Persephone are better off here with me."
"Excuse me," I broke in. "But if you're going to kill me, could you just get on with it?”

“She looked at me, like she was drinking in the fact that I was still here. And I realized I was doing the same thing. The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.”

“Tyson, Frank is a descendant of Poseidon."
"Brother!" Tyson crushed Frank in a hug.
Percy stifled a laugh. "Actually he's more like a great-great-...Oh, never mind. Yeah, he's your brother."
"Thanks," Frank mumbled through a mouthful of flannel.

Percy tried to remember. He really did. For some reason, Annabeth and he had visited a spa and decided to destroy it. He couldn't imagine why. Maybe they hadn't like the deep-tissue massage? Maybe they'd gotten bad manicures?

Sugar and caffeine. My willpower crumbled.

“Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.”

“Look," Percy continued, "I know I'm new here. I know you guys don't like to mention the massacre in the nineteen eighties-"
"He mentioned it!" one of the ghosts whimpered.

“Little sister!" Apollo called. If his teeth were any whiter he could've blinded us without the sun car. "What's up? You never call. You never write. I was getting worried!"
Artemis sighed. "I'm fine, Apollo. And I am not your little sister."
"Hey, I was born first."
"We're twins! How many millennia do we have to argue—”

“You're pretty smug, Lord Ares, for a guy who runs from Cupid statues.”

Great, I thought. We just blowtorched a national monument.

“You stood up to the dragon so Beckendorf would have his chance to jump - now that was brave."
"Or pretty stupid."
"Percy, you're a brave guy," she said. "Just take the compliment. I swear, is it so hard?”