This is Us

1. Restaurants

"You need to fix yoself! Get it together! This ain't you... get it together!" I say to myself in the bathroom mirror. I had just tried weed for the first time, and I couldn't control myself

It felt like a rollercoaster ride, spinning, pressure pounding on my chest. It wasn't soon after I heard the the bathroom door open up. Someone's gonna see me in the bathroom high and take advantage of me! I went in my jacket and held onto my mace, a wanted a bitch to try me!

"Babe, you good? I can take you home if you ain't feeling it. You know I got you" thank God it was just Greggorio, my boyfriend at the time, he came over to me and caressed my shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm straight", lying, but I couldn't let him know I wasn't feeling good,"I just needed some water, thanks for checking up on me though." I guess he took that as me flirting for some reason, cause next thing I know he got closer. And closer.

"You know, Tariq and Queenz left, and Mona's on her way out the door, so that means your gonna have to ride with me, alone. Your just gonna have to come back to my house." He smiled and grabbed me by my hips.

"What is you doing? Somebody could walk in and see us", back in New Jersey at the time, being gay was unacceptable, and you was likely to get jumped if you was caught doing some" gay shit" in tha hood," you know how they is about this!" I try to push his big strong light skin ass up off me, but damn he was strong!

Shit! Was I supposed to fight his big ass? Hell nahh! "Why you worried about them? So what if they catch us! They don't know us babe, they goood. We good." At this point I'm just ready to go in the stall and fuck his brains out, but I had to pull myself together, whooh, thank ya Jesus.

So after I reassured him that the bathroom was not a good sex place, that shit's dead, we got in the car.

He grabbed my hand, and held it so tight that I could feel our pulses in the palm of my hand. It felt good to feel loved again. I almost forgot what it felt like.

"You know summer... is gonna be over in a few... weeks, and", he kept pausing like he was nervous tell me what he had to say," I don't want you to feel like I'm not focused on you, cause I am!" Me and Oreo, I only called him that, didn't go to the sane school, so during the school year we couldn't see each other until after school or during the weekend. Plus we couldn't use our phones during school, but in most of my classes I was still texting his fine ass.

"You know we gotta keep us low-key cause I don't wanna have to fight all of Trenton. But you know if it came down to it, I would fight all of New Jersey for you." He looked over gave a smirk, and winked. "Boy if you don't stop, you gone get yo dick sucked!" I said in my head, of course.

"Babe, you know I know that. I know where ya head and ya heart is. We gotta keep it like we don't even talk during the school year. Even though I hate having to do that. But you better not fuck me over, and you know yo sister tell me everything! I'm watching you Oreo." I slick hurt his feelings, cause the next thing he said was," Wow... so still don't trust me. I see how it is...", he tried to let go of my hand, but I couldn't let him get off that easy. "You caused it! You the one that cheated on me! I gave..", he cut me off ," I thought we got passed that shit bae! I thought we worked it out, and you was good. I thought you forgave me. Thats fucked up yo." Damn, just when we was doing good.

I shoulda never brought that shit up. The fuck is wrong wit me?

"I do forgive you bae, I do. But you hurt me, deep. I ain't finna front like it don't, cause nigga I wake up everyday wondering if you fucking the next bitch! But I gotta live with that. I'm right here! Right here! I'm not going no where! You know where my heart at! Who I'm leaving you for Oreo? Tell me! Who! You the only nigga I love, and that's on both my dead Grandmas!" What I said must've finally got through, he stopped the car and pulled over.