SHE'S MY WIFE

Chapter 5: Forever it is.

              Max opened his eyes and watched as Emilia got in bed beside him then placed the baby between them. She proceeded to breastfeed her and he was at a loss on how to feel. He'd never been a part of this. When they were in Hawaii, he had pictured what it would be like to be there when their second baby was born. He wanted to be a hands on dad, always involved with what his children did. After everything that happened, he hadn't thought that was possible. That explained why lying next to them in that bed felt so surreal, like he was back at home and this was just a dream.

He still couldn't believe Thea had actually shown up at the airport and that he was with Emilia right then. What was more surprising was that she hadn't pushed him away. Instead she'd welcomed him and comforted him when he felt as if he was falling apart. That panic attack had come out of nowhere. After knowing he had another child, the first thing that had come to mind was the memory of seeing Zander's body. But it wasn't his this time but this little girl. That image had been pure torture. Reaching out, he brushed the baby's hair back.

"Hey" Emilia said glancing up at him

"Hey"

"Are you okay?"

"I am"

"Don't lie to me Max"

"I'm fine. I promise" she didn't press him further but it was clear she hadn't believed him. It didn't matter though. If he wasn't okay, he would be. Now that he was there with them, he was going to be fine. "She's beautiful Em" he muttered and as if she understood what he said, she turned to look at him. Those eyes were so much like her mother's. They reminded him of the day he'd met Emilia for the first time. The way she'd looked at him as if he was from another planet. "Do you think she knows who I am?"

"Not really. The only person she knows is me and Doug"

"How long will it take her to know me?" he didn't want to waste time. There were so many things he wanted to with Zander but he couldn't anymore because his boy was gone. If he let history repeat itself then what kind of father was he?

"Hey, are you okay? Why are you rubbing your chest like that?"

"What?" Max asked then realized what he was doing and dropped his hand "I can't help it. Every time I think of him I feel as if there are tiny pins pricking my heart"

"Oh Max" she took his hand in hers "I didn't mean any of it. Everything I said was out of anger. I didn't mean it"

"I knew that but it's good to hear you say it"

"I'm sorry I left you to deal with everything alone. It was selfish of me to only think about myself"

"It's okay Em. I'm just glad to see you're doing well" lifting her hand to his mouth, he placed a kiss on her palm. She had been better off than him. Apparently handling grief wasn't among his strengths. He could run a multi-billion dollar company but when it came to his emotions, he had no clue how to go about it.

"Do you want to stay?" she asked quietly. Max took a deep breath to calm the nerves in his stomach. She was asking him if he wanted to stay there, with her and the baby.

"Can I"

"As long as you want. That way you and Gaby can get to know each other"

"Okay, forever it is then" he told her managing a smile. It felt weird to smile. Mostly because he couldn't remember the last time he'd done that. In the past two years, nothing had given him reason to smile. Even when he remembered Zander he couldn't really smile because all he thought about was the time he'd wasted. Most of the days he'd spent imagining how life could have been if he'd gone after Emilia. And that was his biggest regret. His pride had cost him years he would have spent with his son. Would that guilt ever go away? Or would he spend the rest of his life regretting the decisions he'd made, the people he'd trusted?