Only Heart

Chapter 14

KATYS POV

It's been about a month since the fight. It's been really hard taking care of Scarlett all on my own. I've barely gotten any sleep and I have to go back to work soon or Tamra will kill me.

I woke up to the sound of Scarlett crying again, for the 4th time tonight. All I wanted was sleep. Was that too much to ask?

I slowly got out of bed and walked to her room.

Her screaming just made my ears throb. Was I doing something wrong? Is it because John isn't here? But she can't sense that? Can she?

I shook my head as I snapped back into reality.

"Shhhh baby it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Daddy will be home soon. At least I hope." I said as I picked her up.

She just kept on screaming and waving her little arms around.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. Even though I knew she wouldn't respond.

I went over to the rocking chair and tried to nurse her, but she just kept screaming.

I brought her back to her changing table and changed her, but that didn't do anything.

I gave her her pacifier, she spit it out.

I'm doing everything wrong.

I just put her back in her crib and walked out of the room.

I burst into tears as my back slid on the back of the door down to the ground. I covered my ears and brought my knees to my chest. I can't be a mom. I want to give up.

I walked back to my room hoping Scarlett would eventually stop, and she did. I laid on my bed and just breathed. It didn't help the crying, but it definitely calmed me down.

JOHNS POV

I don't know what I'm going to do without Katy. She's my everything. She gives me so much. That's how I live every single day.

I'm not worth anything. I checked Katy's instagram and Twitter, but there's nothing. Katy tweets everyday, and she posts at least 2 times a week. But there's nothing. All I saw were comments and tweets asking if she was okay or not. It broke my heart because I knew all of this was partially my fault.

I haven't showered in a week, I haven't eaten anything, I haven't slept, all I thought about was Katy and Scarlett, each and everyday I'm wondering if they're okay.

KATYS POV

2 weeks later...

Things have been going a little bit better. Scarlett is still very sensitive and she cries a lot... but she doesn't cry as much as she used to.

Angela was coming over today to help me with Scarlett while I got some work done.

I got out of bed and got in the shower. I've been crying a lot lately. I'm a strong woman. But this time, I've fallen really hard and I don't know if I can ever get back up. Things are hard. My family lives far away, besides Angela, John is gone, I'm a single mother, what the hell am I doing with my life? Tamra has been calling me non-stop but I never have the chance to pick up because I'm too busy taking care of Scarlett.

I quickly got out of the shower and suddenly saw something in the mirror that I didn't think I'd ever see again. And that's me...but with a broken heart. I've been through this shit before, but it's never been like this. This is something totally different. John and I have a daughter. She needs him here.

I just walked out of the bathroom and put on sweatpants with a baggy t-shirt and a hoodie. I put my hair up in a messy bun and walked over to my phone, which I haven't touched in about 2 weeks. I had millions of tweets asking if I was okay and all of my KatyCats praying for me. It was so sweet seeing all of them care about me. I didn't want to tweet or post anything but I did just look through my feed. The only thing they don't know is that John and I aren't together. The paparazzi haven't mentioned anything...I wonder why.