Sanders~ Book 2

35. Thomas

"So this is where Virgil used to live?" Roman was staring at all the run down buildings with this frown on his face. It was hard... being back here. It was the first time I was back, to be honest. All I saw were ghosts. Figments of memory of people long since lost plagued me tirelessly.

"No... This is where I used to live. Virgil lived in a base... outside of town." I wanted out of this place as fast as I could get. I could feel my throat burning with unshed tears over the guilt that threatened to drown me and drag me down to hell with the rest of the monsters that tore this place apart.

"What happened?" Yeah... What happened? What exactly could have happened to make this place a barren wasteland? What the hell did I do?

"I uh... After I..." My body shook under the weight of my guilt and I sighed. "After the Helsings fell the Vampires in the area took out the town. No one was... no one was spared." I left Roman standing there lost as I desperately tried to escape the remnants of my actions. "People just never came back. What do you expect when everyone in town died or vanished in a single night?"

"But that was 215 years ago..." I hesitated for a moment looking back at Roman. Can we please just drop this? I-I don't... I can't take the... the guilt. "I find it hard to believe that nobody tried to rebuild it or I don't know... build a mall." 

"They did." I sighed again looking away from the pain I caused this place. "Aemilia put an end to it." An end... That's a nice way of saying she 'got rid' of anyone and anything that tried to disturb her home. When we finally reached the Helsing Base I tensed up. Flashes filled my mind... the smell of blood. The screams... oh god the screams. I saw as Roman slowly started to open the gate and my mind screamed at me. Telling me to run but I didn't. The moment the gate opened enough for me to see inside everything flashed and it was like I was right back there again. Bodies lined the ground. Blood pooled around me. Screams filled the air. I couldn't take it... I-I just couldn't. "Roman..."

Everything seemed to warp and twist around me begging me to drown in it. Clawing at me like my sins themselves wanted nothing more than to drag me down to the pit of hell so I could burn. Every scream I heard... Every Ghost I saw... It was mocking me. Calling out to me... Calling me a monster... Drowning out any sound that dared to disagree. Mathew... Ciara... They stood there staring at me with pure unabated hatred. Whispering cruel words that I had already told myself so long ago.

"N-N-No... N-No... I-I... God damn it." I stumbled back trying to get away from them but you never really escape your own sins. The ghosts of your past will always haunt you. Reminding you of the lives you destroy... That I destroyed because of my rage. "I-I'm s-sorry... I-I s-s-so s-sorry." I watched helplessly as they got closer smiling wickedly... reaching out to pull me under... crying out accusations of monstrous actions that we all true. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I broke. I screamed out causing this blast around me... I wanted out. I wanted to get away from all this. I ran before the dust could even settle. I don't even know where. But I know I didn't leave like I wanted. When I looked up I found myself huddled down in this closet. Back in the closet huh?

I laughed brokenly at my joke but it was as hollow as I was at that moment. I pressed my head into my knees and just cried. I shouldn't have come back here. I shouldn't have come back here. I shouldn't have come back here. I shouldn't have...

"Why don't you get on your fucking knees?" My eyes went wide as I looked up in shock just staring at the door. I know that voice. I know that... That's... That's Virgil. I stood myself up and placed my shaky hands on the door. "Seriously? You gonna make me beg?" I narrowed my eyes as I listened. He sounded... He sounded like Aemilia when she's enjoying a fight. I couldn't stop the tears that fell. I broke them both. "How about... mmm... I make you?" I heard someone cry out and I slowly opened the door to see Virgil standing over this guy. He had this look of pure fear in his eyes as Virgil held his knife out towards him. "You know, I do have to commend you. For such a weak pureblood you have fought hard." I shook at the growl in his voice, pushing the door open just enough for it to creak and I tensed up in fear at the instant change in the air. Ryan glanced over at me and his eyes went wide. Suddenly I was thrown out of the closet and into a wall, Ryan having ran as soon as he could. I flinched waiting for the attack but it never came. "T-Thomas?" I looked up to see the shock in Virgil's eyes. I saw the knife drop and I smiled against the fear creeping up in me at the sound of silver hitting the floor.

"H-Hey... Dean." My throat felt like it was closing in on me. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at me with this disbelief as if I wasn't actually there. "Long time no see?"

"Long time my ass." His voice broke and I cringed. "It's been forever."

"Yes well... The things I..." I looked away as his eyes darkened and I frowned wiping the tears from my eyes. "Sorry... Uh, I should..."

"Why are you here?" I glanced over to see him picking up the knife again and I tensed up. He placed the knife in a holster and crossed his arms glaring at me. "Why. are. you..."

"Roman..." My eyes went wide and I started to freak out. "Shit... no no no no..." Virgil watched me with confusion as I started to pace. "I left him... GOD, I AM SO FUCKED!"